“Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat! If you don’t, I don’t care, I’ll pull down my underwear!” Tommy sang.
“You better not say that tonight,” I warned. “And plus, exposing yourself is against the law. I think Pee Wee even got arrested for it."
It was Halloween and Tommy was obviously excited over the prospect of going trick or treating. Every few minutes he’d ask me if it was almost time to go.
“Now Mommy?” he’d wonder.
“You still have five hours to go.”
“You still have four hours and fifty five minutes to go.”
“How about now?”
“Four hours and fifty minutes.”
It was starting to get a little aggravating to be honest. A part of me wanted to shriek, “Never okay! We’re never going trick or treating!” But I didn’t. I swallowed my frustration down and when Tommy asked me again if it was almost time I said through gritted teeth, “Four hours and thirty minutes..”
When it was finally time to go, I insisted on taking pictures.
“Mommy! Batman doesn’t have time for this,” Tommy moaned.
After the pictures, I put Natalie in the stroller. I did this because she tends to get tired after walking for a bit and she’ll suddenly stop, cross her arms over her chest and proclaim that she’s “all done.” She refuses to budge after this. If she’s feeling especially stubborn, she’ll collapse dramatically on the ground. She’s done this once at the mall and I had this old lady ask if she needed to call 911.
Tom’s Mom, who was visiting us a few days stayed back to pass out candy. Tom had to work of course. He seems to always have to work on Halloween.
I had planned on just taking the kids around the block because A) it was cold, B) it was cold and oh right, C) it was COLD. I don’t deal well with the cold. Plus there was still snow on the ground from our big snowstorm and a lot of it still blocked the sidewalks.
So we started ringing doorbells and after the fifth door Natalie said, “I’m all done.” Then she got out of her stroller and started walking towards the direction of the house. The only reason why she ran back over to me was because there was a boy in a monster costume that freaked her out. She threw her arms around my waist and pressed her face into my stomach. “I’m all done,” she said again. “I cold. I go home.”
Tommy stomped his foot. “I’m NOT cold. I don’t WANT to go home!”
I suppose I could have dropped Natalie off with her Grandma. But quite frankly, I didn’t want to have to walk all the way back home. I’m lazy like that. So I dug through Natalie’s candy and pulled out a lollipop. I checked to make sure it wasn’t diseased or poisoned and then I handed it over.
“You eat this. Okay?” I said. Look, I’m not above bribes. I admit that when I go to Target, I usually let Natalie pick something out from the dollar spot so she’ll allow me to shop in peace. I’ll fork over a buck if I get some silence. I know Supernanny would faint but then again, what does she know? She doesn’t have kids. She gets to shop in peace whenever she wants.
Natalie was content with the lollipop. We went to more houses. I had to plow through snow with the stroller. This didn’t always work out so well. I thought I could get through this mound of snow but I was wrong. The wheels got caught on it and Natalie nearly went tumbling out into the snow.
“MOMMY!” she snapped, all insulted.
“Blame the snow!” I retorted.
I definitely got a work out.
Which was a good thing because when we got home, I totally raided the kid’s candy.
“What are you doing?” Tommy demanded as I combed through it. I immediately started setting aside the Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.
“Making sure your candy is safe. This doesn’t look right,” I said, as I moved a Milky Way over to my pile.
“That’s mine!” Tommy argued, grabbing a peanut butter cup. The thing is, he doesn’t fully appreciate it. If you eat a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup, you have to really love it. Tommy just chews it like it’s an apple or something. He doesn’t savor it like I do.
“Tommy,” I explained. “I get the Peanut Butter Cups.”
Tommy frowned, still hugging one to his chest. “Why?”
I thought quickly. “Because I created you. Therefore, I have dibs on the peanut butter cups.”
Tommy cocked his head to the side, contemplating this. I suppose he figured it was a good enough reason because he handed the candy over. “Okay,” he said reluctantly. “But only because you created me.”
This is what I set aside for me:
Is it sad that I’ve already eaten it all? (Plus a few extras that I've swiped..)