1. Is it sad that my two year old knows how to walk in high heels better than me?
2. Is it sad that I’m a little embarrassed to buy stuff in Victoria’s Secret? I worry when I slide my sexy lingerie at the cashier to purchase that she’ll know that I’m buying it for when I have sex with my husband. But I can’t very well say, “It’s not for what you think. I wear this when I do dishes.” Then I worry that she’s thinking, “Poor lass. She seriously thinks she can pull this off with her chunky thighs.”
3. Is it sad that I can’t stop laughing whenever I try Yoga? I’ve attempted to take it seriously but I can’t. I always worry when I bend over that I’m going to fart. Or if I don’t fart then somebody else will and I’ll be the only one laughing about it because everyone else will be in some tranquil state that I can’t seem to master.
4. Is it sad that I’m so excited for when Lost comes back tomorrow? I love that show.
5. Is it sad that my daughter has more shoes than me?
6. Is it sad that I ate an entire package of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups? In my defense, it wasn’t all in one sitting.
7. Is it sad that I refuse to do the nasty with my husband after he’s just made a number two?
8. Is it sad that I cursed the state of Wyoming for doing this to my car? (It took off this rubber thing on the top. Not sure what the real term is, I don't speak car.) Well, technically it was their high winds but still. I was in the middle of screaming, “Stupid f-ing state!” when my neighbor walked outside. I apologized for the curse and he chuckled and went, “No problem. I’m not a fan of Wyoming either. One of my tools was blown away and I’m still pissed about it.”