Why I Probably Won’t Fit Into My Swimsuit This Summer
Okay, first of all who can walk by these things and NOT buy them? I mean, they’re called WHIPPETS. It means that they’re just A) begging to be bought and B) begging to be mocked. I did both. They are like little puffs of Heaven. Covered in chocolate. I think I need another box.
Snickerdoodles! Sweet! I can never make these right. The first time I tried I had no idea what cream of tartar was. The first thing that popped into mind was tartar sauce and I was all, “Ew, they want me to put that in COOKIES?” Then I realized what they meant. But the cookies still came out funny. I tried again and this time the cookies tasted like a brick with cinnamon sugar on top. So now I just buy the Snickerdoodle cookies. Trust me, it’s just easier that way.
Peeps are a given. For some reason the yellow Peeps always taste the best. And they also taste the best during Easter. Sure I’ll buy them for Halloween and Christmas but they really aren’t the same. And as for that chicken thing? Dude, it poops gum in the shape of an egg. Who could turn that down? I claimed it was for Tommy but I might have to swipe it for my entertainment. Hi, I’m Amber and I’m 28. Potty humor still makes me laugh.
Cadbury Crème Eggs. The bane of my existence. I cannot stay away from these things. I won’t even admit how many boxes I’ve gone through. And as for the Fun Dip? I bought them to try and ward off my sweet tooth. They are only 50 calories a bag. It probably looks funny to see a grown adult dipping a sugar stick in colored sugar that turns her tongue red.
Can I be the first to say that PEEPS POPCORN ROCKS! Seriously, it is so good. I need to buy another bag. The Dove chocolates are a given and that butter cream egg? Delicious!
So yes. I may not look the best in my swimsuit this year.
But it’s not my fault! Companies need to stop producing such delicious foods.