It’s happened to the best of us.
You reach over to grab one, pop it in your mouth and…ew…yuck…what the living POO is it?
You’ve just consumed the mystery chocolate.
Or the one flavor you detest.
I received a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day. None of the chocolates were labeled. I frowned at the chocolates and thought, “Why Russell Stover, why?”
One day I was over at a woman’s house and she offered me a chocolate. I wasn’t about to turn down chocolate so I picked one that looked safe. I stuck it in my mouth and wished that I hadn’t.
It was coffee flavored.
I hate coffee.
This woman wasn’t a close friend so I couldn’t spit the brown mash into my palm. I didn’t want to alarm her and run into the bathroom. So I had to endure the coffee.
“Is everything okay?” the woman asked kindly. She noticed my pinched expression and either thought that I had to A) poo or B) was wearing a thong.
“Yup,” I lied. I even gave a thumbs up sign and forced the chocolate down my throat. The coffee taste lingered and I longed to scrape my tongue off.
Had the chocolates been labeled, I’d have avoided the coffee flavor.
This was why I stared at the Russell Stover chocolates worriedly. I always seem to pick the coffee ones. Thankfully it seems that Russell Stover doesn’t make coffee ones. But they still do mystery ones.
Seriously, how HARD is it for them to include a “hey, these are the chocolates in your box!” card? Other companies do it! Just writing, “Assorted chocolates” on the box isn’t enough. What KIND of assorted chocolates ARE they, Russell Stover?
Naturally, I bit into a mystery chocolate. It was a brown mash of….I don’t know? Maybe it was maple, maybe it was a type of nougat? I ate it anyway because A) even though it was mystery chocolate, it wasn’t exactly BAD B) it wasn’t coffee flavored and C) I’m PMSing.
In the future, chocolate companies, label your candies.
Let us know what is in the mystery chocolates.
And let us avoid the coffee ones.