Friday, December 5, 2014

Why Elf On The Shelf Freaks Me Out

Some people have asked me, "If you don't like the elf on the shelf, why are you doing it?"

Well?

My daughter loves the elf, who we've named Meredith. Natalie tends to loves things I do not. For example? Ariana Grande, glitter, and Sphinx cats.

But I can't help being a tad freaked out by the elf. Why? Let me show you the ways...







1. The eyes.



What exactly is she staring at? It looks like she's plotting murder. Is she? I've seen Annabelle.


2. No feet.




I picture the thing moving around on points. It's frightening. (Oh, and we can touch the elf. Our elf is special and allows it.)


3. It's small.




I've sat on the elf before. Natalie screamed. Then I screamed. "YOU ALMOST KILLED MEREDITH!" Natalie shouted at me. (I bought Meredith boots so the pointy feet wouldn't scare me anymore.)


4. The eyes.




Oh, I already said that. But seriously, what is she looking at? Or is she in the middle of letting out a fart? We've all been there, Meredith.


5. The overpriced clothes.




You can dress your elf for $9.95. Meredith showed up one day with this jacket, because I thought plumping her up might make her less creepy. Nope. Now she's a creepy elf with a flight jacket and goggles.


6. Not Spoiling The Magic



Sometimes our elf brings small gifts or candy, and Natalie is like, "I swear I saw these elf chocolates at Target..." And then I say, "Oh no, those are different chocolates, these are from the NORTH POLE!" I'm constantly worried I'm going to blow the whole elf on the shelf thing and ruin Natalie's spirit forever and then in ten years she'll have to go to therapy and will say, "The moment when I knew the magic was gone? When my mom ruined the elf on the shelf. I'm broken forever." THE PRESSURE!


Yes, the elf is creepy, but it makes my daughter happy, so she stays. My son?




Agrees with me. But the elf does help with my daughter's attitude. If she starts to snap at me, I remind her Meredith the Elf is watching and she'll shut her mouth and stomp off.

So there IS one benefit of the creepy elf, who may or may not be plotting...

29 comments:

  1. it creeps me out too...if i used it, i'd half expect to wake up with it sitting on my chest wielding a knife :(

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  2. ""I swear I saw these elf chocolates at Target..."" BAHAHAHAHHAH! Our girl knows her Target... so proud! :)

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  3. HA HA HA!! Am dying over the chocolate comment! That is SO REAL!-Ashley

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  4. Hahaha! I agree with you, but I don't have any kids to do it for, so it's okay. I REALLY hope the trend dies down before I have a child old enough to do this...

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  5. I am part of the #ElfFreeHome Revolution! You are a stronger woman than I for doing it.

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  6. The elf is a crazy eyed stalker. There's no room for that in my house.

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  7. I totally agree - those eyes are super creepy!!!
    Sweet that you endure the elf to keep Natalie happy!!!

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  8. The weird eyes and no feet, LOL! You must love your kids very much to put up with those watchful eyes and menacing grin!

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  9. I had never noticed the feet thing... now its gonna aggravate me!

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  10. The eyes are creepy! Maybe they could be another color?
    I know of some kids who have seen them for sales at stores. That seems like a blown cover, but I suppose stores have to sell them!

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  11. So funny! I'm glad the elf became a thing after my boys were too old for it!

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  12. I agree - SO much pressure not to get caught being the one who moves the Elf around! I'm constantly terrified of ruining my girls' childhood with this whole thing!

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  13. I hate the thing. At least your daughter touches it. My husband's daughter has a friend who FREAKED OUT crying because my husband handed the elf back to his daughter's mother in front of her. So they said it lost all its magic and it was this huge thing. I cannot wait until she outgrows it (she turns 9 this month, so hopefully next year that horrible Elf will be a thing of the past).

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  14. Oh man this was so good. Thanks for the laugh :D

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  15. Okay so I was just saying this morning how I am so out of the loop on "The Elf on Shelf" phenomenon! Yes, the elf is creepy, it kind of reminds me of the Chucky doll, okay maybe that's a little extreme, but its just creepy. Great and hilarious post!

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  16. He/she creeps me out too. They all look like boys to me, so now that you can by dresses for them it looks transgendered... is this the time to teach our children about that..hmmm. Perhaps the point.. to be PC.
    I had elves when my kids were little (now 20 and 25) so this is not a new thing. Our elves are Anna Lee.. still have a bit of creepy in the faces but I like them better.
    Good on you for playing along.. I would too.

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  17. Your son's expression is priceless! I'm so with you on the feet thing - ours has been spotted in Barbie shoes. She's kind of a diva. ;o) I found your blog through SITS and you're hilarious! Have a beautiful rest of the wknd, mama!

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  18. I'm with you its creepy. I bought one too. Just because I wanted to pose it, my kids have enjoyed playing with it and that's good enough

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  19. Haha, that's indeed an idea for a new horror movie. Christmas elf comes to life and kills an entire neighborhood. Not sure if it'll be any good, though ;-)

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  20. I'll stick to not doing the elf. I love me some arts and crafts and getting creative, but I think I'll stay away from this one! lol! Glad you guys are having fun with it though ;)

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  22. I despise elf on the shelf. I am convinced it comes to life and murders people. Also: your son's expression is awesome.

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  23. I guess the more I look at her the creepier she looks.... but it's awesome how you do it with them!

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  24. That elf is a combination of the worst of dolls and clowns - both of which creep me out. I had to laugh when I saw the boots - the lack of feet is the first thing I noticed about Meredith! And you're right - she looks like she's letting a fart. And then she's gonna murder someone.

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  25. I don't usually comment on blogs, and I've been a longtime reader, but I just have to say how much I enjoy your posts. I don't have children, but love reading about your take on parenting. Meredith's letter to your kids cracked me up! Too many other bloggers make their lives look fake and perfect, but you tell it like it is. Real life. So thanks for that!

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  26. completely creeps me out too. the thing looks evil .. and while we are on that topic: why, why are most homes making this little creep in elf clothing do BAD things? I thought the point was to make the children behave based on the premise that the Elf was watching and would report to Santa? And then evil Elf spreads flour and marshmallows all over your kitchen because he was having a snowball fight in a blizzard? WTF? how? I don't get it. not at all.

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