Friday, February 27, 2015

6 Reasons Why It's Difficult To Facetime With A Deployed Soldier

Most of you know my husband is deployed. We try to Facetime everyday, but it's not always easy. The connection is pretty terrible over there. However, I know we're lucky. My Nana Jo talks about the letters she would write to my Grandpa, who was off fighting for his country during World War 2. She said it would take months to get a letter. You didn't know if your loved one was okay. Sometimes the letters would arrive with sentences marked off in black if it was deemed unsafe. That would have been difficult.

When my husband first deployed years ago, we only got one phone call a month, if that. So I am grateful Facetime and Skype exist. But still. It doesn't always make things easier. Let me explain...





1. The sound cuts out often. So your conversation goes like this, "How day?" And, "I you." (Translation: "How was your day?" and "I miss you.") Words are left out. This can be confusing when you hear, "I chow arms." (Translation: "I ate at the chow hall and worked out my arms.")


2. The picture freezes. The other person is sometimes frozen with a silly expression on their face. It's funny at first, but then you think, "Can I just have a normal conversation with MY HUSBAND?" You also worry you'll be frozen in an unflattering way. Suppose he shows his work buddies?


3. The call will be dropped in the middle of a conversation. You'll get the "reconnecting" message, but it's a lie. It won't reconnect. You have to call all over again.


4. Sometimes the call won't even connect at all. You'll try and try and try. You'll curse and curse and curse. You'll cry and cry and cry and wail, "I JUST WANT TO TALK TO MY HUSBAND!" all dramatic-like. Or maybe that's just me?


5. If you see a member of the opposite sex in the background, you might think, "Who's that ho? Why is she near you?" Not because you're a bad person, but because you're jealous someone else gets to be near your husband when you can't be.


6. You'll be told, "I can't talk right now," and you'll immediately think the worst. You'll say, "Are there bad guys coming? Are you okay?" and then you'll be DISCONNECTED and go into a panic. You'll think of all the scary scenes in war movies. You'll wonder if that's happening to your husband RIGHT AT THIS VERY SECOND. Then, when he finally calls, you'll be all, "Oh my GOSH, are you okay? Are you wounded?" and he'll go, "Jesus, we just had a meeting. Calm down."

19 comments:

  1. I agree with all of these plus the time factor!! The last time Chris was deployed just trying to sync up a time to call was hard because his schedule was different every day and his day was our night. We would Skype after 10:00pm which is past my bedtime so I was already tired and cranky.
    Hope you are doing OK!!!

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  2. I can not even imagine that. You are so strong. Bless you and thank your husband for serving!

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  3. Who's that ho...lmaoooooooo.
    I'm blessed I was not around during my husbands tours. Parts of me wish I had known him them; parts don't. He said he would go again if they needed him because he has a special skill which scares me, but that's what I signed up for. Hang in there lady!

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  4. #6 seems a lot like how I typically (over)react to things with my husband. If I text him and he doesn't text back, I start to panic!

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  5. I can't even fathom how difficult that must be! My sincerest thank you goes out to you and your husband, for his service to our nation, and for the sacrifices you both make to allow him to do so!

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  6. It is so hard to communicate when your husband is deployed. But it is easier that it used to be, and I'm so grateful for that! It's easy to misinterpret or overreact. You did a good job of pointing out the difficulties. I'm blogging at www.gingerharrington.com. Great to link up with you via the monthly MilSpouse Roundup.

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  7. I can't even imagine. Trying to hold a phone conversation with my introvert husband during lunch time is hard enough. I am so glad that your guys are able to connect at least. I don't know how women did it in my grandmother and grandfather's time!

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  8. That last line! Haha! Yes! Ugh! Such a pain, but we definitely are lucky to have the luxury to speak "face to face."

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  9. I've never used Facetime, but for the last decade most of my relationships have been "Skype relationships," so I know a little of the feeling, though I know it's not the same as a long-distant husband. Sometimes the Skype quality is so bad that the call just becomes impossible--I feel like, man, all I want to do is talk to my mom or dad, why does this have to be so hard? But I'm really glad for the internet--I would not have liked to live in the age of letters that took weeks to come by mail.

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  10. The rushed hangups are so scary. Or when they shut down communications for a day or two. So scary. I was surprised though that emails and phone calls are possible more than not, which is nice.

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  11. I hate dropped calls and not being able to have a full conversation because of a bad connection. No fun at all.

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  12. My husband is a submariner so I hate to say it, but I'm always so jealous of those who get to Facetime. This post really made me think though. It's tough not being able to see my husband at all, but after reading this I can see how incredibly frustrating and SCARY a simple Facetime conversation could be! Thank you for writing this!

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  13. My husband is a submariner so I hate to say it, but I'm always so jealous of those who get to Facetime. This post really made me think though. It's tough not being able to see my husband at all, but after reading this I can see how incredibly frustrating and SCARY a simple Facetime conversation could be! Thank you for writing this!

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  14. I cannot even imagine what this is like! So sorry you have to go through it - and THANK YOU!

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  15. When my husband was deployed we did not have Facetime. We did however have VTC (video teleconference), we only had one VTC because it was just too hard. Thankfully, my husband called home almost every day.
    All the best~
    XOXO

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  16. My husband spent 15 months stationed in Japan, and I had a love-hate relationship with Skype. Hang in there, every day is one day closer to him coming home.

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  17. Amber how frustrating and scary! I would spend a lot of time worrying as well over #6 on your list.

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  18. #6 is scary. And you wrote about it wonderfully and even humorously, but I can't imagine that one.
    I did have a chuckle over thinking you'd be frozen in an unflattering way and he'd show his buddies! He'd most likely say, "Look at my beautiful wife!"

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  19. Girl I cant imagine. It must take real strength being a soldier's wife. I admire it so much!

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