Thursday, June 2, 2016

It Could Have Been My Son That Fell Into The Gorilla Enclosure








"Tommy. Stop!" I shrieked when he was three and took off in the airport. One second he was beside me, playing with a toy car. I thought he was content. But as I put away our airline tickets into my purse, he bolted.

I chased him, leaving the carry on luggage in the chair. I was lucky it wasn't confiscated or stolen. Tommy rushed into another gate, nearly colliding with an airline worker. She scowled in my direction as I approached as if to say, "Can you not control your child?" I wanted to tell her, sorry, it was only me. His Daddy was deployed.

Tommy paused for a second and I nearly was able to grab him. My fingertips brushed his shirt. But then he darted out of the gate and into the one across the way.

"Tommy!" I begged, my breath ragged.

I eventually caught him. But it took me five minutes to gather him into my arms. In those five minutes, he could have done anything.

If we had been at the zoo, maybe he'd have dropped into a gorilla enclosure. He was quicker than I was. Smaller. When I reached out to grab him, he could duck and sprint away.

When I heard about the gorilla story, all I could think was, "It could have been Tommy."


He didn't take off because I was a bad parent. He took off because that's what some children do. I chased him. I chased him each time he ran from me. But the few seconds people saw him alone, they automatically thought it was my fault: that I couldn't parent properly. Even though I was always, always behind him.



I learned. After he ran from me at the airport, I got him a harness. I know I was judged for that, too. I see the online posts. "I don't get parents who put their kids on leashes! It's ridiculous! They aren't animals!" I saw the giggles and the pointing when I had Tommy on the harness in public. Well, which do you prefer: my son racing off, or a harness?

According to the stories I've read about this little boy who went into the enclosure, he was telling his mom he wanted to go in. Maybe she should have led him away. But it appears she had other children. Maybe they wanted to continue looking at the gorilla. Maybe one of her kids distracted her and the boy took that moment to slip into the pen.

I wasn't there so I don't know the full details. I know I do feel for the gorilla named Harambe who lost his life.

But I also feel for the mother.

Parenting is not easy and we shouldn't be quick to judge.

It could have been my son that fell into the gorilla enclosure.



And it could have been yours, too.

24 comments:

  1. I think kids run off and I don't think this woman needs to be demonized. But I also don't really think she needs defending. She messed up. I'm sure she knows it. I messed up with my kids before too and it just didn't happen to be on the news. I think it's OK to say that she made a mistake. I keep reading mommy blogs (not yours;yours was a sight less self-righteous than most of the ones I've seen lately)that say "You guys! That's what kids do! All kids run into wild animal enclosures, hyuk, yuk! Have some more wine!". And...uh, I don't really care for that attitude any more than I like the though that this poor mom is getting death threats. As you said,when your kids run like that, you take steps to keep the from doing so. My 4 year old still wears one of those backpack leashes and she will until she outgrows the running. I'm sure this mom will be more careful now because she's seen almost the worst that can happen.

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  2. I wonder if anyone is blaming the zoo. It shouldn't be so easy for a kid to climb into an animal pen!

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  3. I don't have kids yet but I am on the fence about this situation. What I don't understand is why other people didn't try to stop the kid from getting into the enclosure because I know if I was a random pedestrian and saw a kid climbing like that without a parent in sight I would at the very least tell them to get down if not make them get down. Maybe there weren't any others present at the exhibit but that's difficult to believe since it was a Saturday and usually zoos are pretty crowded then.

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  4. So true. I just feel like the zoo should have had a higher enclosure for a dangerous animal and the mama should have eyed him like a hawk once he mentioned going in. That's just me though. Very unfortunate situation all around.

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  5. Amen, sister.

    On a lighter note, it totally could have been my kid that knocked over that $15k Lego structure...

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  6. Yup. It's weird how everyone blames everyone. It seems like a freak accident.
    Now ask me why gorillas - smarter than many, many humans - are in cages and I may get sad, but I totally went to Animal Kingdom with my kids recently so I don't want to sound hypocritical.
    I don't remember how the enclosures were to be honest! Des was strapped in a stroller!

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  7. I hate zoos really. I think preservation areas for endangered animals are wonderful but zoos? Eh. This situation stunk all around. It was a mistake, but it wasn't the poor animals fault either. What a mess.

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  8. Definitely could have been my kid. It just takes a split second for a kid to decide to bolt.

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  9. It totally could have been one of my twins too. They will take off at the most random times, and sometimes in two different directions. When I go anywhere by myself, I have to bring those harnesses or a stroller for safety.

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  10. I don't have children, but I applaud parents who recognize that their child may/may not run and take precautions against it. You are doing what you feel is best and that's all that really matters, right?

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  11. Such a good perspective... You're totally right!

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  12. Its so hard at that age! I am a HUGE fan of harnesses. I really feel like they can save a life!
    Kari
    www.sweetteasweetie.com

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  13. Totally agree with this! They can bolt from you in a split second!

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  14. I feel for the mother and for Harambe. It's easy to jump to conclusions that she should have been more attentive, but you're right. Kids will dash off even if you are looking at them. Sad all around.

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  15. Everyone has an opinion about the kid, mom and gorilla =) I will say that there are bigger issues to worry about than judging a parent who is only human <3

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  17. I second everything you said, and I had the same airport experience, gosh having kids is beautiful but parenting is very hard.

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  18. Very well said, and such a voice of reason. My older son was the same way - always taking off, with me chasing close behind. I was actually nervous every time we went to the zoo. I feel bad for the mom.

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  19. Thank you for sharing. Mistakes happen. It could have been the difference of 5 seconds - if she had caught him earlier maybe, and then no one would be going so crazy over her parenting. I hate that we feel such a need to place blame in a situation like this. It's just a sad thing to have happened but we don't need to hold one person accountable.

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  20. Great post! People are so judgmental. When we were at the airport a few weeks ago and my daughter got a bit loud, an older woman gave me the stink eye. It's sad what happened at the zoo, but I'm sick of everyone getting all sanctimonious on the mother.

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  21. We lost Jayce a total of three times in major public places. We, too, got a harness and I ate the words "I'll never put a leash on my kids!" I think our kids are around to keep us humble :)

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  22. I said the same thing. I cannot judge, because that could have easily been one of my babies when they were younger. Actually my seven-year old gets distracted often, which scares me because I think he's with me and he's still looking at a Lego set that he's studied for at least 10 minutes 20 different times.
    xoxo
    www.mrsaokaworkinprogress.com

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