Monday, August 15, 2016

Why I Won't Co-Sleep




"I wanna sleep with you, Mommy."

"Well, I want to weight 20 pounds less but I like food too much and it's not going to happen. We don't always get what we want."

I was always blunt with my kids when they asked to sleep with me. My son Tommy never really had much interest. He was the easiest baby and was in his crib the first night he was home. He always understood that his room was where he'd sleep.

But then I had my daughter Natalie. And she was NOT an easy baby. She'd shriek if someone tried to set her down in her crib.



For the first two months of her life, someone had to be holding her or else she would not sleep. So I shouldn't have been surprised when she wanted to sleep in my bed. (I say MY bed, but I do share it with my husband..)

There are reasons why I never co-slept:





1. I like my space. I want to be able to stretch out in my area and not have to worry about a kid.


2. My daughter sleeps like this.



3. I'd be kicked throughout the night. I know because I had to share a bed with Natalie when we were at Disney World, and it was horrible. I also let her sleep with me ONCE when her daddy was deployed because I felt bad and I vowed never again.


4. I want to spend time with my husband. Alone. I don't want to have to keep my voice down because a kid is sleeping. I don't want to have to censor myself because a child is nearby. There has to be a place where I can be myself.


5. I have enough trouble sharing the bed with my husband so I can't imagine someone else in it. Seriously. My husband can snore, and it drives me up the wall. If we were rich, we might actually have our own bedrooms.


6. I like my space. Oh. I already said that. But I do. Very much.


7. Natalie needs to learn that her room is there for a reason. We paid $400 for a bed and more for sheets. That's where she belongs at night.



I know some people co-sleep and love it. But I am not one of those people. Some might argue that I'll regret not spending that time with her and I completely disagree. I won't miss getting kicked at night. I won't miss getting shoved off the bed. I spend time with my daughter in other ways. We shop together. We see movies. We go out to eat often.



But we do not share a bed. And that's okay.



Do you co-sleep? Or if you don't have kids, do you let your pets on your bed? We don't allow that either.

53 comments:

  1. We co-sleep... not really on purpose, but out of force and laziness ;) My daughter starts the night in her room, that's our rule, but sometime after we go to bed (I would guess around midnight) she wakes up and makes her way to our room, crawls over me, and climbs in between us! I don't even notice her coming in anymore to be honest. I just wake up and there she is. We've tried bribes, treats, threatening, taking away things, bringing her back to her room... well at this point, I'm just riding it out ;) She won't be sleeping with us forever. Right? Right?? (And normally I sleep fine with her in the bed, she just likes to cuddle up on my arm, which I'm not a fan of but used to at this point... and she doesn't kick unless she has a bad dream, like last night!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah I'm not doing that so thank you for this post! My mom didn't do it with me either. It doesn't seem like a good habit to take up for all the reasons you mentioned and more in my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Our dog does sleep in the bed with us (but she also weighs 9 pounds and sleeps in between Kyle's feet haha) but we will not co-sleep with Emersyn. I refuse.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I never really did. I did once with Scarlet as a newborn and she was turned over and I was petrified I had suffocated her. So never again. When they're older it's nice for occasional snuggles. Scarlet is such a kicker/blanket taker, though! And Des never seems interested.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm with you! We have never co-slept yet except when traveling, and she's too noisy in a hotel room or something... but that's only for extreme cases because we don't want to be the people with a screaming baby keeping everyone up all night! haha. But at home? No way. I can see myself letting her in bed with me when she's a bit older when my husband is deployed or something, but I guess we'll see what happens.

    ReplyDelete
  6. We co-sleep, but only because we are too tired to put her back in bed at night when she sneaks in. She doesn't do it as much anymore, but yes I understand all of your reasons and wish we had never let her in the first place!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I slept with my babies when they were little. Now I don't let them in my bed even if we're awake!

    ReplyDelete
  8. We are kindred spirits! I do not co-sleep (unless we are in a hotel for the evening on a trip) and don't plan to!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't have children, so I can't speak for one way or the other, but I LOVE your upfront-ness about it. You don't want to, you have your reasons, and that's that. I dig it.

    -Clarissa @ The View From Here

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ooo I like Clarissa's comment above. You don't want to, you have your reasons, and that's that.

    What is it with kids sleeping sideways in a bed all cockamamie? Did our parents have to teach us that and we forgot? Or do you just grow up and figure it out?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I like my space, too, but I do let my cat sleep at the foot of the bed :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. My daughter slept with me up until she was three. I couldn't stand having her on the other side of the house. She is 22 now and a nurse. I think she turned out fine. For some people it works, others it doesn't.

    ReplyDelete
  13. No kids for me, but am guilty of letting George the Dog Cat sleep in the bed. It's probably why I am so damn tired every morning...!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I co-sleep with my 3-year-old. I usually put her in bed in her room at around 9pm each not but by midnight she finds her way back in my room. And the fact that she's a wild sleeper doesn't help either ;(

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think it's great that you have clear boundaries with your kids--I totally get the needing your own space and not wanting to censor yourself with your hubby. I do let my dogs sleep with me--but I don't need to censor myself and they keep my feet warm. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Not at our house except for a few occasions. We need our own bed.

    ReplyDelete
  17. From time to time we occasionally find a kid in our bed (usually we were so tired we never woke up when they crawled in after a nightmare or whatever.) But in general I don't sleep well with kids in bed, and I don't think they sleep as well either because they wake up too early (their rooms have blackout curtains for a reason!) This baby has been more of a co-sleeper than any of the other kids because even though he always starts out in his bed, I am physically incapable of not falling asleep when he gets up to nurse in the middle of the night. So co-sleeping it is, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I coslept with my first baby - not at all with my second. Now, no way! I have been known to snuggle my youngest in bed if it's 6am and I'm not ready to get up, but most of the time "Go back to bed kid!"
    Co sleeping was a tough habit to break for my firstborn, but if I didn't do it I would have been up every 2 hours (on a good night.) I like to think co sleeping saved my sanity in the early "new mom" days.

    ReplyDelete
  19. We refuse to co sleep as well. I am like you my bed is sanctuary. I should not have to be quite or whatever in that space!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I haven't got a kid yet (and I'm excited to have my own soon), but I agree with you. I think I'm a type of person that can't co-sleep with my kids.

    ReplyDelete
  21. We have already decided not to co-sleep and our daughter isn't even here yet (4 days over due). I think it's important for everyone to have their own space.

    ReplyDelete
  22. We did not co-sleep. My little one was happy in his crib and now happy in his own room and bed.

    ReplyDelete
  23. The kids aren't allowed to sleep in our bed. They're tornadoes. I do, however, sleep in their rooms with each of them if they are sick. One has a long bed and one a queen so there is room but they still get on top of me and keep me up all night.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I don't agree with kids co-sleeping with parents. Firstly because they would disrupt my sleep! and secondly because i feel they become too dependent and it becomes harder to encourage them to sleep in their own bed.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Well all your reasons are valid!Kids don't have to get everything they want and if you want your space, so be it! Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  26. We co-sleep. Purely out of laziness. My 4 year old is a very erratic sleeper. I don't want to wake up like 5 times in the night to tuck him in. So, I let him sleep with me.

    ReplyDelete
  27. We co-slept for awhile, but I got tried of being kicked too. I had to put a stop to it too, but I do love snuggling with the little bug.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I don't have any kids but I can totally understand why you don't want to co-sleep. I think kids should learn to sleep in their own beds and parents need their own space.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I feel you!! hahaha. We all need our own spaces to sleep.

    ReplyDelete
  30. It's o'kay for you to set boundaries. Whatever works! :) When my son was little he loved to have his back scratched at night and he would often end up falling asleep in my bed. My daughter (who was on the other side having her back scratched) would get up and go to her room when she was tired. lol

    ReplyDelete
  31. Yeah I'm with you on number four. My husband needs my attention too.

    ReplyDelete
  32. We co-sleep until little man falls asleep. He's then transported to his own bed. He falls asleep in like 5 minutes, so it's not really co-sleeping. Nice blog, I just had a discussion about this the other day...

    ReplyDelete
  33. We co-sleep and absolutely love it! She is only 12months though and so it may change in the future.

    ReplyDelete
  34. I do not have a kid yet but when I do, I would not be okay with co-sleeping most likely. I like to have my space in my bed and sleep comfortably.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hahahah that's hilarious! I feel the same. I can't sleep at all if there's someone sleeping in the same bed as me

    ReplyDelete
  36. Lol, this is too funny! I like your daughter how she sleep, my husband do!

    ReplyDelete
  37. We co-sleep and I guess it has its own advantages too. But I totally get your points in here.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I've heard about co sleep was great to get more insight into to it as well as your experience. haha i'm the eldest and I enjoyed my crib while my sister was the shrieker... maybe its a younger child thing lol

    ReplyDelete
  39. I don't get any sleep when the kids sleep with me. It's terrible. You wake up with black eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  40. We co-sleep with my son until he was 6 because every time we put him in bed at 8pm, he will find his way to our room at midnight. Instead, we had an extra mattress for him beside our bed so that he can crawl in to sleep on the mattress by himself, this doesn't count as co-sleep right!

    ReplyDelete
  41. I'm not yet a mama but I intend to teach my kiddos to sleep on their own as much as possible. I agree with your reasoning!

    ReplyDelete
  42. I was not a co-sleeping parent until my second child. She gives us no option. She forces her way into our bed in the middle of the night and I am just too lazy to move her out of a dead sleep. I suppose we will deal with it one of these days though! Props to you for sticking to your guns!

    ReplyDelete
  43. I love my space too! My oldest does like to sneak in the bed from time to time, but I have no problems from my youngest.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Go girl, do it your way. You have that right. One of the priviledges of being an adult. It makes me curious if you have a dog? and this probably only came to mind because the last few months we let the dog sleep in our room and she has legit ruined our white carpet. she sleep digs, of all things.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I don't have kids yet but I hope when my time comes I won't give into co sleeping too because I love my space too much and I too would love to spend time alone with my husband

    ReplyDelete
  46. I haven't had any kids yet but I know there's something nice about having the entire bed to myself once in a while. So I can definitely appreciate you valuing your space! Though I do let my two dogs sleep in bed with me and my BF. So I'm sort of used to being crowded already.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I would have to say I enjoy sleeping alone on my bed but I just got used to my girls sleeping beside me as well. I think it's perfectly fine and parents have the right to decide.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Before when I still dont have a kid I don't co-sleep! I really hated the feeling of someone will bother you and bother them on being having a lot of movements but when I had my daughter I never wanted her to sleep on the other side! Or without my side.

    ReplyDelete
  49. You can choose to co-sleep or not, it's all up to you! I am with you on this 100% though, I love my space as well.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I know some people that love co-sleeping. My parents never did! I can't think of a single night where they let us sleep in their bed for an entire night - and we all turned out just fine!

    ReplyDelete
  51. I agree with you. I don't co-sleep with my son but it doesn't mean that I am missing something because I do eat with him, shop together, bonding every weekends and so on. We do a lot of things together.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I was always scared to cosleep with my son because I thought I would hurt him. But I always coslept with my dogs!

    ReplyDelete
  53. We've co-slept since the day my son was born. I love the snuggles. My son is in his own room now, but I miss it sometimes. He sleeps in there all night and doesn't try to sleep in our room anymore. My daughter still sleeps with us for now.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment!

Share This

 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...