Thursday, November 2, 2006

Am I Here?

*Looks around*

Is it true?

Am I the States??

*Peeks outside and spots only American cars*

It's true!

Let me tell you, it was an adventure to get here.

For starters, we nearly missed our plane that took us to Chicago.

We phoned up a taxi service and asked them to pick us up at 630. I kept asking if that was enough time to get to Heathrow and was assured, more than once that we'd be okay.


Turns out there is major construction going on around the airport. Traffic was backed up, the roads were a mess.

And our driver was all, "Oh yes this has been going on for months."


Do you think you could have let us know this so we'd have planned for them to come earlier?

I was not happy.

And when 920 rolled around and we were still not at the airport I went into panic mode.

Holy crap, we're stuck here for another day, this isn't fair, why England, WHY??

Finally, we made it.

We went at lightening speed, grabbing bags, throwing the cash at the driver and rushing straight into the United check in. I ran right up to the front, heard whispers of "How rude," but at that point I didn't care. I stood gasping in front of the ticket agent.

"*Gasps* Our flight is at 1025! *Gasps again* We...check in..*gasps."

(Man, am I out of shape.)

The guy, thank goodness, was willing to help. He took our passports and tickets and went to talk to someone.

He came back a few minutes later.

"Come here. Come here now!" he said and lead us to another area where he took our bags.

He took the bag with the portable DVD player but we were in such a panic that we didn't notice.

At this point it was 945.

He rushed us through the security point. We squeezed past various people and managed to get through that easily.

Then an airport transport met us after that and took us to our gate.

The guy was all, "You almost missed your flight. You are the only passengers the flight is waiting for."



So we hightailed it to the gate.

When we got there a flight attendant came rushing out.

"Is this the M**** family?" she barked and we nodded. "Come on, come on!"

Then as they took our tickets they said, "Oh we had to give your seats away, so we're upgrading you to business class."


And they sounded APOLOGETIC about it.

We were all, "Hey no problem," as they ushered us into the airplane.

Then they showed us to the biggest seats that I had ever seen on an aircraft before.

Hey, I'm a coach girl, I've never been in business class. I've only walked through it to get to my tiny tiny seat in the back.

I was amazed at all the room. You could stretch your feet out in front of you, there was all

I kept gazing around in awe.

"And all this space is..ours??" I asked the flight attendant.

She smiled. "Yes."

The chair leaned back and a foot rest even popped out.


Then you had your own personal DVD screen that popped out.

It was a magic chair.

And we were served..get this..

WARM NUTS in glass bowl.

No plasticware could be found.


Then some guy came around and took our orders for lunch like we were in a restaurant.

I think I gazed at him in awe for a few seconds. Then he was all, "And we have an extra children's meal for him if he'd want it."

They were...polite.

I mean in Coach they're not like ogres or anything like that but a lot of them seem irritated that they have to deal with us "under class" people. And if you ding for them they sort of roll their eyes, wondering how you had the audacity to disturb them for a glass of water.

But in the magical world of Business Class they always had smiles.

And they refilled your water cup (in a REAL GLASS no plastic) every ten minutes it seemed.

I could actually eat the airplane food. Usually I only can eat the rolls and the limp salad that they serve in economy. The main dish is always a strange looking slop that causes me to feel ill an hour later.

But here...

In business class they had an appetizer of salad with Asian vingagrette sauce.


Then for lunch I had the filet mignon.

Again, delicious.

And the portions were separated. There was the filet mignon, potatoes and some veggies.

Tom got the chicken which came with rice and veggies.

Tommy's meal was chicken nuggets, smiley fries and spaghetti O's.

On real plates and real silverware.

Oh and before they served you they covered your tray with a white tablecloth.


I felt rich.

I glanced around the room and noticed most people seemed to be dressed up. The men all wore khakis and the women either wore jeans or nice pants.

Where as I had on my black jogging outfit, the only thing that fits me now.

Boy did I feel out of place.

It was fantastic though. They played Cars so Tommy watched that three times.

I watched Click and The Devil Wears Prada.

Tom watched Cars as well and said it was hilarious.

Seriously, the eight hours flew by.

Before we landed we were served a fruit plate.

With warm rolls.

The fruit was actually tasty. They were bruised or near rotten. They were fresh.

Oh and the blanket they gave you wasn't itchy!

And the pillow had a real pillowcase!

Sadly, I wasn't able to sleep.

Every time I'd drift off Tommy would ask me for something.

And Tom, he's oblivious to it all because when he becomes engaged in a movie there is no stopping him.

And oh yes, they gave Tommy an ice cream sundae! I always heard that they served sundaes in upper class and now I was actually able to witness (and taste) one.

I don't know how I'm going to go back to Coach.


We landed in Chicago and our next flight to Cleveland wasn't for another four hours.

So we went to McDonalds.

Glorious McDonalds. How I missed thee.

When I dipped my fry into the ketchup I exclaimed, "The ketchup tastes normal!"

When Tom dipped his fry into a sweet and sour sauce he shouted, "So does this sauce!"

People were giving us strange looks.

I was so tired while we waited. And Tommy, he refused to sleep. He was wide awake the entire first flight. He was wide awake in the airport. I was all, "Oh man kid SLEEP!"

I was so tired that I didn't even remember walking to the bathroom. At one point I swore I saw Amy Roloff, who is a dwarf in this series I watch called Little People, Big World. I think I told Tom, "That's Amy Roloff," and pointed to a woman who was merely squatting down. When she stood up I went, "Oh. Nevermind."

I was out of it.

When we landed in Cleveland Tom's Mom was there along with his Grandma and two Aunts.

His family all pretty much lives in this area.

Our luggage popped right out and we came home.

And mercifully slept.

Even though Tommy was still awake.

Geez, kid.

I read that ADHD kids normally don't need as much sleep. Lucky for me Tommy WILL sleep if I put him to bed but obviously there was no bed to put him into when we traveled.

Tommy, I'm proud to say, behaved. In fact when we stood up to go leave Business Class the people behind us were all, "Wow there was child up there?"

This morning we went to the local grocery store. It doesn't have much but it had more of a selection than the commissary. I was marveling at all the different kinds of fruit snacks. They had: Curious George, Dora, Spongebob, Nemo, Diego..

I kept saying, "Just look at all these CHOICES!"

Once again I got weird looks.

They were probably wondering if Tom kept me in a box or something.

Today we're going out for lunch.

Then we're going to Toys R Us because Tommy asked Grandma for a Darth Vader and she couldn't tell him no.

Then we're visiting with Tom's Grandma's--both of them--and after that heading to Super Wal-Mart.

Wal-Mart here I come!

I'm picking up some snacks there. *Drools*

Choices, choices, CHOICES.

Tomorrow it's Kohls.

My beloved Kohls.

Because I need some maternity clothes in a bad way.

Near Kohls there is a maternity store, an Old Navy and a Target.

And a Coldstone Creamery.


I'm back, I'm back!

(But I still miss Jennifer.)


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