Wednesday, April 4, 2007

The Other Half

So part two of the story:

I was led into another room for recovery. I walked hunched over, like an old man because my cha cha was aching something terrible. By then the epidural had worn off. Plus my feet had become swollen and resembled two large marshmallows with knubs.

I could barely climb into the bed. Tom had to help me onto it. It was almost comical as he struggled to push me on. I kept telling him to hold on, hold on, that I could feel my stitches pulling.

Natalie was fast asleep in her plastic crib.

This would be the only time she'd sleep on her own without someone holding her.

Tom and I decided we ought to get some sleep.

Which is near to impossible in a hospital. I'd drift off and a nurse would come in.

"I need to take your vitals."

"I need to massage your uterus."

Which, OUCH, hurt.

"I need to take some blood."

"I need to check the baby."

Somehow Tom slept through all of this.

He was snoring on the pull out bed beside me.

When I finally drifted off to sleep I heard Natalie.

It felt like my cha cha was on fire as I slid off the bed to get her.

Of course Tom kept on sleeping.

How he does that is beyond me.

So I slid down and picked up Natalie, who promptly started to knaw on my arm.

It was time to feed her on my left breast, which always gave me problems with Tommy.

Sure enough, I had problems.

I couldn't get her to latch. She got frustrated and cried, I nearly cried and I finally buzzed a nurse in to help.

She wasn't the most friendly nurse in the world. She showed me how to feed her and when I tried she went, "All wrong, all wrong!"

Well excuse me.

I finally got Natalie on, ten minutes later.

After I fed her she was asleep again so I placed her back in the crib. Then I started to drift off and...

A nurse came in to check her again and woke her up.

So I tried to feed her again.

She ate a little bit and fell back to sleep. I put her back in her crib and..

She screamed.

So I picked her back up. She calmed down and slept. I think I held her for an hour, just marveling at how cute she was and then I put her back in the crib because I felt myself nodding off.

A few minutes later...

She screamed again.

And Tom still slept through all of this.

If I had been able to bend I think I would have thrown something at him.

Nurses came in and out of the room. One commented, "Wow you're always awake when I come in here!"

Ugh I felt tired.

Finally at six in the morning Tom stirred. He looked at me and went, "How did you sleep?"


I didn't sleep at all!

I told him so and he went, "You could have gotten me up."


You're like a lump!

Someone came in again to check the baby. Then the doctor who delivered her came in.

"Hello hello!" she said cheerfully. "Guess what? You get to go home tonight! You can leave anytime after seven!"

(I forgot to mention, Natalie was born at 7:02 PM..or 7:04 PM..see on her birth card it says 7:02 but on the bracelet it said 7:04. So who knows?)

I was surprised that I was able to leave so soon. But I was told it was because I was healing nicely and that Natalie was perfect.


When I got out of the bed after they left a bunch of blood slid down my leg.

It was disgusting.

Tom was all, "Oh my God are you okay?"

He buzzed a nurse before I had time to respond. A nurse came in and asked what was wrong. Tom was all, "My wife is gushing blood!"

The nurse told him that was normal and brought some stuff to clean up the blood. Then she asked if I wanted a shower.

So I took one of those and felt MUCH better.

Of course I had to wear a diaper pad. Those are the pads that the hospital gives you.

Tom held Natalie while I showered. When I came out Natalie was asleep on Tom's chest.

Tom held her for a little bit while I ate hospital food. I didn't eat much of it to be honest. It was a funky looking cinnamon roll with hard eggs and a sausage that looked like it had seen better days.

Plus I was in pain.

Seriously I felt like I was ripping apart. It got to the point where I started to cry and Tom buzzed in a nurse for me.

She asked if I wanted some Tylenol with Codeine.

"I can't," I said. "I'm nursing."

"It's safe while you're nursing."

"OKay then..."

So she brought me back the Tylenol and I took that.

Then I felt MUCH better.

The rest of the day was filled with nurses coming in and out.

Tom brought me McDonalds for lunch. I had to eat it with one hand because Natalie refused to be put down.

Which I understand because she's been tucked neatly inside of me for so long, who wants to be put down after that?

Natalie was taken for her hearing test at one point and failed.


Then she was brought back again a few hours later and failed again.

Just one part though, in one ear.

After that a woman popped in and said she'd take pictures of Natalie in the nursery if we wanted. She was from Growing Family. We agreed and brought her back there.

Problem was, she was fast asleep and refused to open her eyes.

Though she was squirmy the minute we put her down so we couldn't get a good shot.

Oh well, I can take better pictures anyway.

When we got back to the room I felt like I needed to poop.

(Sorry TMI)

I managed to poop but it HURT.


Peeing wasn't a ball of fun either. I was glad that I was able to pee though. With Tommy I couldnt' for awhile and had to have a catheter.

My Mom and Tommy came to visit too.

Tommy was nervous as he entered the room. He gripped my Mom's hand.

"This is your sister, Tommy," I said. I nearly cried, because I had missed Tommy so much.

"Oh. Will she cry?" Tommy asked, covering his ears.

"She's not crying now. She's sleeping. See?" I tilted Natalie towards him.

Tommy smiled. "She's cute!" He slowly approached me and peered down closer.

"Mommy," he said. "When you coming home?"

"Tonight. I get to come home tonight."

Tommy gave me a smile and looked at his sister again. "She's sleeping," he observed.

I forgot to mention, Tommy also called while I was in the hospital. He nearly broke my heart when he kept asking, "When you coming home?"

At one point Natalie did do a few squeaky cries and Tommy immediately placed his hands over his ears.

"She crying?" he asked.

I moved Natalie into another position and Natalie calmed down. "She's okay."

Tommy slowly removed his hands from his ears. "Okay.."

They stayed for about a half hour and then went home.

Finally, a few hours later we were able to leave.

We gathered all our things. I dressed Natalie in her cute outfit which looked HUGE on her.

A nurse accompanied us downstairs to make sure we had a proper carseat and that it was hooked up correctly.

Then we were off!

Tommy was asleep when we got home but Mom was up. She immediately scooped Natalie from her carseat and cuddled her.

We sat around and talked for a few minutes and then Mom realized how tired I was when it took me forever to respond to her questions.

"You should sleep," she said. "I'll keep her."

I said I ought to feed her first and did so.

Then I went upstairs.

And promptly fell asleep.

For all of two hours. Then Natalie was hungry again.

So I fed her. We tried to put her down.

She screamed.

Mom said she'd take Natalie for a little while longer.

I went back to sleep.

This time for only a hour.

Fed Natalie.

Mom was looking tired so I told her I'd be okay.

Tom was still sleeping in bed. Which I don't mind too much because he does have to be alert for work but I still envy how he gets to sleep and how his life doesn't seem to have changed much. I mean he stays up until 1 and then I make him get up at 9 to get Tommy dressed and his breakfast. Then he gets to sit on the computer and pretty much does what he normally does. Granted I do make him take Natalie for awhile so I can sleep but other than that...

Fast forward to today.

We're trying to get Natalie to sleep on her own.

Right now she's been in her crib for over a half hour so this is an improvement.

If only she'd do it at night. She's been sleeping better on her own during the day but at night she still screams.

Thank God for Mom. She wakes up and lets me sleep. Tom is gone at the moment, he had to trip out until Thursday.

I started to panic last night. It was hormones I guess. I burst into tears and told Mom I couldn't handle it on my own. Mom leaves on April 3rd and Tom has to trip out two days later. Tom's Mom doesn't arrive until April 12th and I started to cry, saying I couldn't handle everything by myself.

"I won't be able to sleep, Mom! I won't! And how can I take care of Tommy too? I can't do it, Mom, I can't!"

Mom held me close and said she could extend her plane tickets if need be.

Problem is, I feel guilty asking her to stay longer. She said she would but when I asked she went, "Well I told you I'd stay longer when we were deciding how long you wanted me to stay." It seemed like she was slightly annoyed and I wouldn't want to bother her :(

However, I know she'd feel guilty if she did go home on the 3rd and then called and heard me crying over the phone.

I mean I know I would if it were my children after all.

I just know she has her own life.

If we can get Natalie to sleep on her own for a few hours at night I think I'd be okay.

But if she doesn't by the 3rd then I know I'd lose my mind.

Other than the non sleep issue, things are going well. Natalie is a good baby. She doesn't cry when she gets her diaper changed anymore.

She hates her baths though.

She eats really well.

I'm only breastfeeding and plan to keep it that way.

She gives smiles all the time.

I know people claim it's gas but I believe some of those smiles are real.

Oh and we took Natalie to her hearing test today and she passed this time!

Good girl.

I'm off to lay down a little bit.


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