Wednesday, September 26, 2007

We Make Love Awesome!

I'm shocked.

Tom has actually been throwing his socks in the hamper.

Without even being asked to do so!

But I know he'll forget and one day his socks will be tossed on the floor.

And that's when I'll swoop in, grab them and toss them outside.

Tom has a habit of getting better with things and then forgetting.

For example, I asked him to please take out the trash BEFORE it started to overfill.

He started to do this, making a big show of it.

"I'm taking out the trash," he'd say as though he expected applause.

But eventually, the trash started to overflow again and I'd watch in horror as he'd jam even more trash on top of the mound that looked like it was going to tip over at any minute.

Then when I'd angrily take care of it he'd shout, "I was going to get that!"

Uh huh.

I am so teaching Tommy to be neat. And helpful. I cannot stand men who think that just because they work that they get out of a few household chores.


When my parents were here, something a little embarrassing occured.

Of course it did, I wouldn't think anything less coming from my life.

What happened was that I had purchased these little word magnets for the fridge from Target. (At 50% off!)

I thought they'd be fun.

(Of course since they're so tiny, they're also a choking hazard for Natalie so they're kept up.)

I had placed this sentence on the fridge:

The word that was cut off was "We." And in case the photo isn't showing up I had placed "We make love awesome!" against the fridge.


And I realize that's not a proper sentence.

My grammar is horrible but it's not that horrible.

I had put the words down after Tom and I had...well....obviously you can tell from the sentence what we had done.

Tom was amused when he saw it.

(And yes, some people have pointed out that it may not have meant sex. That it could just be like Tom and I make LOVE awesome. As in love. Not, er, sex love. But I'm a total perv I guess. And Tom and I refer to it as making love because we're romantic nerds.)

And then what I had planned to do was remove the sentence and put something more family friendly in its place.

Such as, "Hi there, let's eat!"

Or, "Let's go to a club!"

Okay, maybe not that.

Obviously I bought the college edition fridge magnets.

The problem is, my memory is awful and I completely forgot to take it down.

So when my parents arrived, guess what my Mom noticed?

"Oh these are fun!" she said at first.

Then she peered closer to my sentence and I immediately turned bright red, remembering what it had said.

"MOM!" I shouted, which practically caused her to take a wee on the floor.

"What?" she demanded, thinking that her only child had gone insane.

I tried to gather her in a hug but her eyes kept focusing on the sentence.

And then I could tell when she had read it because she went, "OH!"

Oh indeed.

The horror of your parents finding out that you are--gasp--sexually active.

On the fridge.

"Oh haha," I said, pretending that I wasn't humiliated. I quickly rearranged the words. "There's Tom, being silly." Don't worry Mom, don't worry, your precious daughter has only had sex twice in her whole life each time producing your grandchildren.

And Tom, who was in the kitchen shot me a LOOK.

"I didn't--" he started.

"Silly Tom," I added, giving him a harsh look. Come on, Tom, if you can't be bothered with taking out the trash, at least take the heat for this one. You're a boy, boys are always thinking about sex.

"I didn't do it!" Tom insisted, not wanting to be the hero.

So I had to do something else.

I had to change the subject.

"PICTURES! I have pictures for you!" And then I shoved a bundle of pictures in my confused mother's hands and it was dropped.

(Thankfully Dad was outside with Tommy.)

That was a little mortifying.


I still have this cold that doesn't seem to want to go away which means I can't taste foods.

And I miss tasting foods.

I mean, look what I had for lunch the other day:

I figured I might as well finish up the veggies since I wasn't able to taste properly anyhow.


It's a lunch my mother would be proud of.

Though I had to add peanut butter to the celery because taste or not, I needed some sort of added texture to it.

It was an incredibly boring lunch.


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