The Needle Under My Eye

So today I have to go in to get that cyst under my eye removed.

It's pretty small and not terribly noticable. But when my Mom came to visit she freaked out about it and said I needed to make an appointment to get it removed.

So I did.

The base hospital doesn't do things like that so I was referred to a place about twelve minutes away.

I made Tom drive me to it so I'd know exactly where to go. I'm awful at finding things even if I do have directions. Seriously. Tom says I'm a horrible map reader. I've sent us into the boonies more times than I care to admit because the map looked like it was telling me to go one direction when we were meant to go another.

"Sorry," I always say to an annoyed Tom when he has to turn the truck around.

So he showed me where the Skin Clinic was. It turned out it was right down the street from McDonalds, where we frequent.

Tricare (our insurance) sent me a list of what would be happening at the appointment.

Doesn't this sound scary?

SHAVE SKIN LESION
DESTRUCT PREMALG LESION

That scared the crap out of me. I'm going to have a NEEDLE injected into my face an inch below my eye. And SHAVING??!!

I try not to worry about it. I calm myself down by going, "Okay. You pushed two human beings from your vagina. Granted drugs were involved but to get those drugs I had to have a HUGE needle in my BACK. If you can go through that, you can have a small needle injected one inch from your eye..and look on the bright side, at least I don't have to show my crotch to a bunch of people! It's just your face that is going to be examine.."

But then I start to panic again.

A needle is going to be injected ONE inch from my EYE!

"I could go BLIND," I told Tom seriously.

He rolled his eyes, used to my antics. "You won't go blind."

"But..but..suppose the needle accidentally pierced my EYEBALL and I go BLIND?" I continued, wringing my fingers together nervously.

"That won't happen," Tom said calmly.

Sometimes I wish he'd get frantic with me instead of sitting there all serene-like. It could have been that he was also trying to watch some boring program on The Military Channel too. It was about (surprise surprise) World War 2.

"What if the left side of my face stays numb..FOREVER?" I finished this question dramatically with a sweep of my hand for emphasis.

Tom wasn't even phased. He just blinked and scratched his leg. "Won't happen."

I gave up and started reading a book. I tried not to think about the needle that would be ONE INCH from my EYE the next day.

Tom is watching the kids while I go and get this done. At first there was a bit of a problem with that. I had made my appointment and reminded Tom when he phoned from work to say goodnight.

Then he went, "Damn," and I knew something was wrong.

"I have firing that day," he informed me simply.

I can't tell you how many times I've had to reschedule my appointments because Tom had something COME UP on his DAY off. Heaven forbid that I attempt to plan something on his DAY OFF.

It's not his fault. It's the military, really. I love the military most of the time but it irks me when I can't even plan a thing on Tom's days off for fear that something will come up.

So I yelled at Tom over the phone. I used the f-word a number of times which I only do if I'm really angry.

Tom said he'd try to work something out.

Thankfully he was able to reschedule his firing.

Last night I reminded him to stand outside at 3:30 when Tommy comes home from school.

And to make sure he gets Natalie up at 3:00 from her nap because if she sleeps longer than that then it's hell trying to get her to go to sleep at night.

I wasn't fully sure if he was paying attention because his eyes remained on the television screen.

"Okay, so what time do you need to wake Natalie up from her nap?" I quizzed.

Tom looked annoyed and pulled his eyes from the TV. "Amber. I know how to take care of my children. Thanks."

Which is true but he isn't left with them that often so I'm never sure if he's aware of the schedule. He's more of a let them go free type of guy and I know if roles were reversed and I worked and he stayed home, he'd probably not even HAVE a schedule. And the kids would still be awake at (gasp) ten at night and he'd be all, "They'll sleep when they're tired."

Eek. Just EEK.

(My kids are in bed by 830 thankyouverymuch. And some nights 8:30 can't come soon enough.)

I also asked him to start dinner if I wasn't back by 5:00. I should be as my appointment is at 3:00.

"But just in case there are..." I lowered my voice all dramatically. "Complications."

Tom furrowed his eyebrows. "Amber. They're removing a cyst smaller than my pinky nail. There won't be complications."

"I could bleed heavily," I said with a sharp nod.

"I doubt it."

I suppose it's a good thing that he doesn't get excited with me. If he said something like, "Crap, you COULD bleed heavily and there is a chance you COULD go blind," I'd be in a worse panic than I am now.

"If I do go blind in my left eye, I'd still have my right anyway," I said. I closed my left eye and peered at Tom with only my right. "I'd be okay with just one eye. Jennifer only has one good eye and she's just fine."

Tom gave me a Look. "Amber. Everything will be okay. Seriously."

He's probably right.

(Though the whole needle an inch below my eye is still freaking me out a little bit..I'm not good with needles to begin with..)

To cheer me up, I'll share some pictures of some of Natalie's fall outfits.