Friday, May 1, 2009

It's Time for Random Thoughts

It’s Friday!

Which, to be honest, means next to nothing to me these days.

I really need to get out more.

Tonight I will finally be watching that Twilight movie. Please don’t squeal at me. No, I do not find Rob Pattinson attractive. No, I don’t wish I had my own Edward. Maybe it’s just me but I wouldn’t want to be with someone who removes the engine from my truck. That’s called being creepy in my book.

Since I have nothing else to report I’ll do my random thoughts.

So here is my random thoughts theme song.


Put your earplugs in. I can’t sing.

“It’s time for random thoughts, it’s time for random thoughts, be bop be do it’s time for random thoughts.”

Okay. I’m done singing. You can take out the earplugs.


So, the hotel that Jennifer and I stayed at while visiting the Mall of America was nice. But then Jennifer pointed out something.

Where did it come from? Who did it belong to? Jennifer said that she saw a black hair on it too.

I tried not to vomit.

I sincerely hope that it was a LONG black hair and not a short curly one.

I never saw any hair but it did amuse me that there was a washcloth casually tossed over the shower curtain.

I really need to get rich so I can afford to stay in places where that sort of thing just doesn’t happen.


Like a lot of people, I’m a little tired of hearing about the Swine Flu. Or H1N1 which I’m sorry, reminds me of a robot. I can’t take H1N1 seriously. Not that I can take Swine Flu seriously either. I just picture a pig, which makes me think of pork, which makes me want a pork chop. Oh, and some bacon.

I have been washing my hands more often to be on the safe side. I make my kids wash their hands too. They aren’t amused. I told Tommy to wash his hands when he returned home from school and he went,

“But why? I didn’t use the bathroom yet!”

He’s used to only washing his hands after he goes to the bathroom.

I get that more people die from car accidents than from this flu. But what worries me is the fact that it could mutate into something worse.

I’m not ready to go yet. I have a book that I need to finish writing, you infectious disease!

I just hope it all goes away soon.


I think it’s fantastic that Susan Boyle can sing. Who doesn’t like to hear about the less attractive girl making all the pretty ones gasp in shock? I would LOVE to do something like that. Alas, my singing stinks (see beginning of entry) and I can’t do anything else of importance.

But....if I have to see that clip of Susan Boyle singing on Britain’s Got Talent one more time I fear I may scream. I don’t want to see a stunned Simon Cowell with his palms slapped on his cheeks. I don’t want to see that female judge with her jaw dropped open anymore. I do not mind, however, looking at Piers Morgan. I have no idea why I find him attractive but I do.

I do hope Susan Boyle wins.

Then at least we’ll get to see a NEW clip.


Because I’m immature, I found this article to be hilarious.

It’s from Redbook , which always has interesting stuff to read. When I was on the airplane headed for the Mall of America I was able to catch up on my magazine reading. It’s always an enjoyable event when you can read all about if your vagina is healthy. (Mine is. Neat.)

That seriously was another article that I flipped through and it had a title that said, “Is Your Vagina Healthy?” I had to tilt the magazine away from my seat neighbor lest he look over and think I had something rank going on in my junk. I could imagine him scooting as far away as he possibly could (which wouldn’t be far, since we were in coach) and tossing horrified looks in my direction. Then I’d be all, “No, sir, you’re confused. My vagina IS healthy. It’s just a silly article that I’m only reading to pass the time away because I HATE to fly and I’m two seconds away from going into panic mode from all this turbulence…”

Anyhow, in this poop story, it says that you should listen when you sit on the toilet.

I’ll try to listen.

But it’s sort of hard when you have an audience.

My daughter usually follows me in and waits in the corner of the bathroom.

So I do my business as quickly as possible and quite frankly, I don’t have TIME to hear anything.

I suppose I need to make time because the Poop Story says that “poop should swoosh into the water like a professional diver, not go in like staggered belly floppers.”

Um. Ew.

Comparing poop to a professional diver is just not cool, yo.

I brought up the article to Tom when he called me and I asked if his poop went into the toilet like a professional diver or like staggered belly floppers.

“WHAT?” Tom boomed.

“It’s from an article I read,” I explained. “I’m just making conversation.”

“This is the weirdest conversation, Amber. I’m going to go now,” Tom said and then quickly said goodbye.

I suppose it was a little gross.

But sometimes when we talk on the phone, Tom is distracted by the television which makes for a stilted conversation.

So I had to get his attention SOMEHOW. And using the word poop did the job.

(For the record, shouting the word "boobs!" seem to get his attention too.)


This story was on The Today Show this morning.

Apparently this is the new bathing craze for babies.

I guess it's supposed to simulate the womb or something.

It looks uncomfortable to me.

I'll stick to regular baths, thanks.

One of the ladies was all, "Children up to three can bathe in this!"

If I tried to put my two year old in something like that she'd pitch a gigantic fit.

Of course, she pitches a gigantic fit when I put her in a REGULAR bath sometimes.

You just never know with her.


  1. WTH is that tummy tub thing?? It looks like a plastic storage containter... is it just a glorified baby bath tub??

    LOL about the poop article in Redbook. Hell, I'm immature enough that the mere mention of the word poop sets me off into a fit of giggles, but I can imagine the face Tom was making when you were asking him about it. Priceless! LOL!

  2. I love random things.

    That wash cloth is freaking me out. What in the world happened there.

    And the poop article, too funny.

    WTF? The bathing things. Yeah my kids would dump it on each other.

  3. Poop should swoosh into the water like a professional diver? Seriously?

    Like you, the only thing I hear while pooping is my kids: "Mommy, are you pooping? Let me see the poop! Mommy, is that your vagina?"

  4. I can't wait to hear your opinion on Twilight. I was a naysayer like you. I'm nearly 38 for cripes sake! On a whim I decided to get it on pay per view. I watched it TWICE in that 24 hours. I then had to BUY the DVD. I don't buy DVD's at all, for the record. I won't read the books though. The cinematography is what sucked me in. It's just a beautiful movie to look at. Edward, Jacob and Jasper aren't too bad either. LoL!

  5. LOL, I have to check out that poop article by Redbook! Between that, the cloth on the shower, and the bath craze for babies my mind is swirling with thoughts of hygiene right now :)

    I don't know what to make of the H1N1 right now. My background is in science, so that part of my brain is taking it very seriously and seeing a scary future, but I've read so many blogs in the past week that approach it lightly, jokingly that help to make it seem like maybe it isn't so serious. I guess I am riding the fence post on it for now.

    I do think I might go take a shower tonight now!! I love your post today :)

  6. Sorry I haven't commented until now, I was waiting to listen to my poop!

    Yes, that bath does look insane but I'm sure that viewers are tired of hearing about the recession and this is such a nice break!

    One word about the washcloth...Sick!

    Thanks for the laughs!

  7. This post made me laugh so hard. I refuse to listen to my poop. I just don't care if it belly flops or not.

    The baby tub is scary. I keep thinking of those babies in a jar they have at the science museum.

    I've had enough of Susan Boyle, too. Yes, great singing voice, but whenever she actually SPEAKS, she gets on my last nerve.

  8. I love your blog. And no you dont know me but I saw your blog and it just made me laugh. I love your random thoughts.

  9. That poop story is hilarious. I think magazines are out of good original ideas!

  10. Tummy tubs? That's pure lunacy, the poor baby looks like it's being twisted in to a pretzel!

    Stopping in from SITS - nice to meet you!

  11. Great random thoughts! I nnede a good laugh so 'thank you!'

    I just realized that I don't have your button up on my blog...I'm going to fix that problem...

  12. Love the random thoughts.

    And, that bathtub? It's too much for me!

  13. Congrats on the health of you vagina! I am always so happy to hear that people don't have anything going on with their junk...

    And mine goes in more like a cannonball. Is that bad?

  14. I love Susan Boyle!!!!!!!! I hope she wins too! Have fun watching dearie Edward, haha! :) I'm not a Twilight freak either but I'm sure I'll be watching it soon too.

  15. That tub thingy is so funny. My mom called to tell me about it and she said there were a few babies all happy as clams sitting in those things. I'm with you- mine would launch herself outta that thing so fast my head would spin.

  16. Sure, I bathe my babies in the sink...but a storage container. Don't those generally have one of those 'no-smoking' type stickers with a baby on it instead of a cigarette? I'll stick to the sink!

  17. I will now listen to my poop for the rest of my life -- thanks to you! Gross!

  18. From the poop to the vagina article, I laughed so hard I cried.

  19. ah...if only i'd known all those years ago that i was inventing something when i washed my kids in a giant tupperware bowl while camping...
    you win some, you lose some.


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