Monday, August 10, 2009

The Cable Quandry

I woke up with a start around three in the morning.

"What if they don't have CABLE in Montana?" I burst out, sitting upright.

I don't know why I said that. My mind isn't quite there that early.

(And for those who don't know, Tom got orders to Montana. We're moving. Our report no later day is 30 November.)

Tom stirred beside me. "Huh? Is it time for work?" he mumbled into his pillow. He usually wakes up around 330 for work.

"No, it's not work. It's CABLE," I said dramatically, grasping the covers to my chest.

It also didn't help that I had gone from sleeping in a comfortable, spacious king sized bed and had been transported to a full sized one that I'm expected to share with my shifty husband.

My night had gone like this since I had climbed into the small bed with Tom:


I mean, he did all of that in the King sized bed at the beach. But it didn't matter because I had my own entire corner and was unphased.

In a full sized bed, that's just not the case.

So I didn't feel so bad over the fact that I had woken HIM up.

"What about the cable?" Tom mumbled.

"What if Montana doesn't HAVE it?" I hissed. "How am I supposed to find out if Izzy lives on Grey's Anatomy? How am I supposed to figure out what in the world is going on in Lost? . I need to watch the new season of The Tudors even though I know how it all ends but STILL...

Tom made a strangled noise. "Geez Amber, it's MONTANA. Not some remote village. Of course they have cable."

Oh. Right. I was mistaking Montana for those places that people trek out to on The Travel Channel where tribes dance around for fun and get high because they claim the Gods tell them to do so.

"Okay," I said, relief washing over me. I laid back down and went back to sleep..

...or at least I tried because as soon as I was about to drift off Tom's man arm went across my neck and his hot stale breath blew right into my face.


And to think, some women LOVE being that close to their man at night.

Maybe something is seriously wrong with me?

I mean, suppose Michael Phelps were my boyfriend. Would I want my space then?

Probably. He's very very tall and I imagine his very very tall legs would toss all over me and this would cause me to be like, "Michael! Would you keep your massive ligaments on YOUR side for craps sake? You may have won gold medals but it doesn't give you the right to hog the bed!"

I just like my space.

When Tom woke up the next morning he and my Mom went down to the base to see about sorting out the orders.

You see, we don't really want to go to Montana.

So Tom was going to try to argue it.

It didn't work out well.

When he returned home he came bearing Burger King. He probably wanted to distract me with food.

"I got you an angry whopper!" he said in a sing song voice, waving the bag. This alerted me because Tom doesn't usually speak in a sing song voice unless he's nervous.

"Thanks," I said distractedly. "What about the orders? Do we still have to go?" I crossed my fingers hopefully.

"Er..." Tom paused as Mom walked in with some bags of food.

"Are we going?" I tried again, my voice faltering. I already knew the answer.

"Yes. I'm afraid we can't change the orders. Apparently they desperately need K-9 handlers in Montana," Tom said with a shrug.

I sighed. "Oh..."

Crap. Crappity crap crap.

"So..back to the cold for us, I suppose?" I said lightly. I was really working on being a Supportive Wife like the ones on Army Wives.

"Yes," Tom said.

"There's no Gymboree in Montana," I said in a small voice. I had looked up all the stores while he was gone just in case. No Gymboree. No Gap. No Kohls.

Target, yes. That's something. I thought at first there was no Target.

"But there's a Golden Corral," Tom reminded me. He had woken up early and had done a bunch of research. For me. He had scribbled down all the places he thought I'd be interested in and when I woke up he showed me the paper.

"There's a mall. A small one but a mall at least. And..I can drive you to Missoula I think it is and I believe there's a Kohls there. There's a Wal-Mart..a McDonalds...a Quiznos...Furniture Row..." Tom prattled on as I stared at this list.

"This was sweet. Thank you," I said, giving him a hug. That's Tom's way of being romantic. He may not be the type to surprise me with a limo and wisk me off into the sunset but he does try.

It looks as though we'll be going. Tom may ask around when we get home tomorrow but if Montana needs K-9 handlers then he's probably stuck.

*Le sigh*


  1. This may not help, but Montana is GORGEOUS. And there are lots of things to do, even during the winter. And all the people I've met there are wonderful.
    Start here: Carousel and Children's Theater sound lovely.
    Chin up. The other families near the base have been through what you're going through. If nothing else, the military has a strong community of families who know what you're feeling.

  2. Sorry, I was waiting for you update, hoping he could get out of it. THen again, I live on the sun...maybe I should look into Montana!

  3. sorry about your disappointing news. it was very cute for tom to look up montana shopping sites. i'm impressed!

  4. it will be as good as you make it.

    That's the best advice I got for ya, take it to heart :)

    Oh, and how sweet is Tom for doing all that research! He's a keeper!

  5. your hubby is pretty darn sweet....too bad you still have to move, but yes you have HIM and your kids!!!

  6. Well, if you have to go, at least you are taking those you love most with you. . .

  7. At least it's temporary. Err...I hope so anyway. Says the girl with the husband who's been stationed at Scott for over 6 years now....

    I'm sorry there's no Gymboree :(

  8. There ARE gymborees! I did a search online just for you and I found two Gyborees, one of which is inside a mall close to the AFB... Didn't I already tell you this? I feel a sense of deja vu coming on. Anyway, Im sorry the orders culd not be changed :(

  9. Sorry Amber!! No Gymborie's think of as rehab for your Gymborie habit. Atleast there is a I hear a Woo Hoo!!

  10. I'm sorry! I really kind of envy you, though, because I've always wanted to live in Montana. When I was younger I swore I would move state to state, live for six months to a year, and move on until I found tat perfect place that I wanted to live. Maybe this is a new adventure for you. They have great dude ranches. Photo opportunities. A chance to write that book you really need to write.

  11. Montana?

    No Gap, or Gymboree or Kohls? WHAAA...

    It's gonna be ok...breathe into the bag.

    We will 'follow' you there if that helps! :)

  12. aww that was sweet of him!! keep your head up lady! it's not over yet!

  13. I totally understand the thing with the bed.. I need my space too.... no matter how cute the guy next to me is.. ;)

  14. Do they even *have* king size beds in Montana?

    Oh wait, its a BIG state... surely they got BIG beds.

  15. They may not have those stores but there is always the internet! I know it's not quite the same but it helps. Sorry you couldn't get his assignment changed. I say your first purchase is that darn king sized bed!

  16. Just think of all the blog fodder.....That alone should make you rub your hands together and say, "Let's go!"

  17. But the blogging world will go with you whereever. We will always be there for you!!

    Hallie :)

  18. I know people who live in Montana and love its beauty. And they are very civilized people who have cable and go to Target and everything! In fact, a lot of celebrities have homes in Montana. And speaking of celebrities, I hate to deliver more bad news but I read all the magazines about their career moves and . . . it doesn't look very good for Izzy. Katherine Heigl is really into her burgeoning movie career.

  19. Sorry he couldn't get his orders changed. I found your blog through the GF website, so I understand your pain re: no Gymboree. I did a search on their website and there is one in Billings, but that's like 4 hours from the AFB. At least there is always online shopping!

  20. Well . . . now all we can do is make the best of it. There's always online shopping and look at it this way . . . Think of all the bloggable adventures to come in Montana! :)

  21. Target makes all things better.

    {Seriously it was nice of him to find things that you'll like & to bring you a whopper. I'd kill someone for a whopper right now but that's soooo off topic...}

  22. Apparently they really need dog handlers in Montana? Are they taming wild packs or something?

    It does sound you found yourself a keeper though---breaking bad news over a Whopper and researching malls? You don't need limos and roses when you've got that.

    I'm sorry you didn't get better news today.

  23. I have to sleep in my little corner of our king size bed because the hubster is a shifter too. Not only a shifter but an elbow thrower. One of these days I'm going to wake up with a black eye. I've already receieved a huge bump on top of my head!

  24. I've been to Montana twice and it was so beautiful. Keep an open mind.

  25. Tom sounds very sweet. :) For what it's worth, my sister-in-law lives in Missoula and she loves it there. :)

  26. I've heard Montana is beautiful!!! But I can imagine it must be hard to just drop everything and make a major move in such a short time, esp when you have young children.

  27. Ok... I am back from dinner to read the post slower... bob evans was really yummy!!! Plus, I must brag - the kids are old enough to leave home alone with turkey sandwiches. If we took them, they would have just ate pancakes.

    Anyway... Tom was very sweet to get up and problem solve for you. He wants to make this work. Maybe, you can get a king sized bed for the new home. THIS WOULD ROCK!!!


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