Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A Little Praise

I was mad.

I’m not going to lie.

I was also annoyed. How could he stroll inside and not even notice? How was he able to pull off his stinky boots and plop right down in front of the computer without saying anything?

I pressed my lips together in a tight line. I was trying to keep my anger inside even though I could feel it bubbling, desperate to come out. Maybe he’d say something in a few minutes. Maybe he just had to unwind.

But then an hour passed.

This is when I realized that he didn’t even notice that I had mowed the lawn, which by the way, is not the easiest thing in the world to do. I had mowed the lawn even though it was HIS job—I had done it to be nice because that’s just the kind of wife I am. And okay, I also did it because I had consumed three slices of pizza and I needed to burn it off. It’s not my fault! Pizza is my weakness.

I had assumed Tom would come home from work and realize that the grass was cut. Then he was supposed to burst through the door and shout, “Sweet wife of mine, thank you ever so much for doing the lawn!”


So he wouldn’t exactly say it like that.

He’d probably say something like, “The lawn is done. Cool.”

But I got nothing.

This irritated me because Tom practically expects a song and dance when he takes out the trash. Let’s not even mention that taking out the trash is one of his chores to begin with. But when he actually does it he’ll say, “I took out the trash,” and look at me expectantly as though I’m meant to toss my arms around his neck and shriek, “Thank you, my Manly Man for getting rid of our rubbish!”

I usually praise him. I admit it. On Dr. Phil I saw some husbands moan that they’d do more around the house if they felt appreciated.

But the thing is, sometimes I don’t feel appreciated. Do I get praise when I change a disgusting diaper? I mean, some of those are horrible and I sometimes wonder if it’s entirely healthy to be breathing in fumes like that.

Do I get praise for vacuuming? Sometimes I do get a, “It looks different in here. Wait, I think it’s because it’s CLEAN!” and I’m not sure how to take that.

So fine, I’ve made peace with the fact that I may not always get a celebration when I do things.

But when I mow the yard, manual LABOR, I expect some sort of recognition. I mean, I SWEAT when I did it. I was nearly attacked by a bee who was pissed that I mowed away some of his flowers. It tried to sting me, I swear it did, and I went tearing across the lawn screaming, “BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Then I went back to the mower that I could have just abandoned. But I’m a tough soldier, I have to finish what I start.

I went over to my husband who was starting up a game on the computer.

“Did you notice anything different?” I asked sweetly.

Tom blinked at me as he pulled out his headphones. “A new…shirt?” he guessed, looking a little nervous. No man likes to be asked about what he notices because it’s usually very different than what the woman is talking about. Like one time I pointed out this woman with neon yellow hair and I went, “Look at her,” and Tom went, “I know! She has huge breasts! I’m surprised she hasn’t fallen over!”

“Tom, I’ve had this shirt for years,” I said with a sigh.

“Could you just tell me then?” Tom practically begged.

I gestured to the front door.

“Did you paint?” Tom was flabbergasted.

I was close to jumping up and down in frustration. “Did you notice anything when you pulled up?” I wondered.

Tom frowned. He was contemplating this and coming up blank. “You cleaned the garage?” he replied hopefully.

Cleaned the garage? No, I’m mad at the garage. I went in there to organize and it attacked me. All sorts of boxes came toppling down on my head and that’s just not cool.

“The lawn, Tom!” I shrieked. My patience was gone and I needed to give the kids a bath.

“Did you put the feed down on it?” Tom inquired.


“I mowed it! I mowed the lawn! I was attacked by an angry bee and I got all sweaty and nearly mowed my foot off!” I yelled.

Okay, that last bit wasn’t true but I was going for a dramatic story.

“Oh. Thank you,” Tom said, turning towards his game.

That’s it?

“That’s it?” I blurted out.

“Thank you very much,” Tom tried again.

I stared at him.

“You’re the best wife ever,” Tom said.

I grinned. “Thank you for saying so! You’re too kind!” Then I walked away, satisfied in my praise.

“You’re weird!” Tom called out as I went up the stairs.

“You’d be bored if I were normal!” I answered.

“This is true,” Tom shouted back without missing a beat.


  1. LOL...my husband come home one Saturday from working overtime and found me finishing up the yardwork....he went to pull into the driveway and said..."OH, I'm sorry miss...I thought this was my house!"

    LOL...yes we like a little praise when we do something that's not normally our job. I know exactly what you mean!!

  2. OMG I burst out giggling at the neon yellow hair woman and what Tom was really thinking, LOL that is so typical of MEN!!!

    By the way, YAY you for doing the lawn! I had to do mine on Sunday and I could only finish the front. Not the back. Its too difficult sometimes!!

    And yes, the praise thing. Sometimes when I walk in the door the first thing out of my mother's mouth is "look, I mopped the floor! I vacummed the stairs!!" and other times she says absolutely nothing just to see if I'd notice. I mean, I am NOT a guy, so of course I notice!

  3. He would be bored! I wouldn't know how to start a lawnmower!

  4. Why do men always want so much credit for little things but then don't give us any. Last week my husband came home and said "the house looks awesome, thanks for keeping it so nice!" and I about fell over! Men...they're all the same!!!

  5. This just makes me angry at my guy. He once pouted for TWO DAYS. When he finally let me know what was up he said "I washed the 2 pots and 2 pans you used to cook dinner with and you never said anything..." Um... HELLOOOO??? When do *I* have anything said to me when I do it? Every. Single. Time?
    I love reading you and Tom's antics. As soon as I see a new post I'm like "Yipeee!!"

  6. Cute and sounds like my house and when I finally get him to say something I dont even get the best wife comment. Married so long I guess..


  7. lol... so funny BUT so true!

    i just what i am supposed to do... we have "chores" set aside and i do mine and he does his and then.. he's all... (just like your hubby).. i took out the trash, i mowed the lawn, i pulled the weeds.. ect!!! Give me a break... I don't go around listing my checked off chores to him!!

    p.s. if we were to ever meet.. promise i'll never ramble of the twilights.. lol

  8. Well, if its any consolation, its probably not just Thomas...

    I have relatives that haven't noticed things in years... "Oh! where did that lamp come from?" "I can't remember, its been there since the Civil War"... or

    "How come its so sunny here?" "Maybe its because they cut down that 100 foot tall oak tree 4 weeks ago?" "They did?!? Wow, I hadn't noticed..." "No sh*t, Sherlock..." :P

  9. all guys are the same! ugh, it gets frustrating!
    so glad to hear the bee didn't attack you, how scary!! ;)

  10. I will spend my whole day off cleaning house, taking care of our daughter..

    I don't expect him to say anything..

    But he does stuff on his day off and the 1st thing he says when I get home.. I did dishes, laundry,etc..

  11. I have to admit, my husband is awesome with housework, and probably does more of it than I do. I don't thank him nearly enough.

  12. I know! They never notice all the good stuff we do, but want applause and a press release for exhaling on their own... Sad. I think it's the testosterone poisoning...

    --and remember, 'normal' is just a setting on your dryer.

  13. I didn't realise my wife was on Blogger under the name Kristina P.

    Learn something new every day, don't you?! :)

  14. Now if Americans took off their shoes before coming inside like Canadians do, this incident would have been averted.

  15. Isn't it funny how they think they deserve praise when they do their job? I'm glad you finally got yours!

  16. At first I thought you were gonna say that you had gotten your hair done or something! LOL I agree . . . Breathing in all those pee and poo fumes can't be good for you.

  17. Oh man, this has happened so many times in my house. Why must we have to praise our husbands for doing the dishes one time out of a gazillion but when we do one thing for them? Nothin.

  18. I hate those Guy-Blinders men wear. Selective Deafness is bothersome, too. Thank God I'm allergic to lawn mowers.

  19. There is definitely a praise inbalance between men and women.

    Every now and then I get pissed and just go on strike and everything just stops magically happening in the house. THAT he notices.

  20. Men just don't notice things the way women do. And they definitely need more praise than we do. Big babies!

    BTW, I'm sure your beef stew will be great!

  21. Cash recognition certainly has it's upside....

  22. OMG OMG OMG OMG - my husband also announces - I TOOK OUT THE TRASH - well, good on ya mate (he's aussie) i mean, seriously. do i say I FED THE BABY TODAY. I GAVE OUR SON A BATH. I DID A LOAD OF LAUNDRY. stop it already

  23. I sooo needed to laugh today and I always know I will LMAO when I read your blog!!!!!! So thank you!!!!!

  24. Haha! I've got two of them here, man and boy child. I like to jump up and down, clapping my hands, and whoo hooing when they inform me they've executed such brilliant feats as taking out the trash.

  25. What IS it about them??? I got home today and my husband was all about how he had unloaded the dishwasher.

    Who does he think does is the other 363 days a year?

  26. I am going to start carrying pompoms so I can get all of the boys around here to feel appreciated enough to help around the house!

  27. Love it! I could have posted the same thing, so annoying but I have about decided that is just how men operate!

  28. I always want the same thing from my hubby but, I get nothing.

  29. Well...I Guess I was the husband today. I just noticed....like 5 hours later, that Hubby did MANY loads of laundry, remade beds, did dishes, and vacuumed today. Uh Whoops.

  30. I live in the city....Ummmm...what is a lawnmower?;)

  31. Too funny! It's true if you were normal he would hate it and vise versa.

  32. lol....love it!!! thank goodness you're not normal!! then what would i read?!

  33. You're a better woman than me. I don't do yard work. Period. I claim disabling allergies, which is mostly true. My husband suggests I wear a mask..you know..like the people are wearing overseas to avoid the HiNey flu? Yeaaaaa....

  34. Ahhh, the "Do you notice anything different?" statement.

    I must be frank, when my girlfriend asks me that it, feels as if a million minefields have suddenly sprung up around me, and one foot wrong will result in instant, painful castration.

    Do you ladies have no idea how those few, simple words, can strike fear into the heart of any sane man?

  35. that is a great story! SO typical of guys not to notice when we do something and then expect us to notice when they do their "chores"! (and also to notice the big boobs on a woman instead of her hair) hehe. whenever my hubby notices when I've made the bed bed and breakfast style with new tucked sheets and cleaned blankets, it makes me feel so good and rejuvinated!

  36. You two are absolutely adorable together :)

  37. haha! too funny! i think i may start listing everything i do in a day. do you think i would get sufficient praise? probably not.

  38. OMG do I understand this ALL TOO WELL! My husband always has to get "praised" for his 2 cents worth of inside work that he does on occasion too. HA! Although, if I were to mow the yard or much less - weedeat - he would die - he trusts me with the mower just not the weedeater - that's a story for another day - hee hee hee

    big hugs! :O)

  39. Great story!
    I esp. love "You’d be bored if I were normal"!

  40. Great story!
    I esp. love "You’d be bored if I were normal"!

  41. I love that last part....we always have to keep our husbands guessing to keep things fun and interesting!

    If it's any consolation, I get no appreciation either. I always say I could strip down naked and light my hair on fire and my husband wouldn't even notice.

  42. Hysterical! I am so with you on this!

    My hubby changes a light bulb and thinks he deserves sex. ARGH!

  43. I know this is a day old but by God that normal comment had me giggling in my pinot.

  44. Unfortunately, in my house, I'm the clueless one... I never notice the ANYTHING!

  45. Speaking from the guy perspective, you're weird.

  46. That post was so right on! My husband acts like he deserves a parade whenever he does something around the house. Arrrrgh! Great blog. Just visiting from SITS.

  47. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa Our husbands are twins. Yep, it must be. I have SO had these conversations. My sons are JUST like him too.


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