Monday, September 7, 2009

The Rain Shower

“Guess what?” my husband Tom said to me when he came home from work on Thursday.

A part of me was hoping that he’d say, “We don’t have to move after all! We get to stay here!” (For those who don’t know, we’re moving next month. To Montana. And no, I am not happy about it.)

That was just wishful thinking on my part. Because of course it had nothing to do with the move.

“I have Friday, Saturday, Sunday AND Monday off,” Tom gushed and punched the air with his fist.

When he worked his old job, he never got this many days off. In fact, he used to rant that he thought the base was full of a bunch of lazy asses who never did any work.

“I mean, why do they need all these days off? You don’t see security forces having all these days off!” he’d shout.

Of course he’s singing a new tune now.

“Why?” was the first word that tumbled from my mouth. I pictured Tom following me around the house, invading my space, HOGGING THE COMPUTER…

Tom’s face fell slightly. “Why? That’s what you ask me? You’re supposed to be thrilled.”

I forced a smile on my face. “Why?” I repeated, my voice squeaky high. I was trying to convey a chipper manner even though I kept thinking, “You mean I have to share this tiny house with my husband for four days?”

“I don’t know. I guess Friday is considered a Family Fun day or something,” Tom shrugged, pulling off his boots.

I held my breath when he did this. You do not want to suck in air when Tom is removing his disgusting boots. I learned that the hard way and nearly passed out from the stench.

“A Family Fun day?” I snorted.

Tom yanked off his other boot. “I’m not going to complain.”

I was tempted to complain.

When I woke up on Friday, there Tom was with the remote in his hand watching The Military Channel. If you want to learn all about how a M4 is made then The Military Channel is for you. As it is, I could care less, so I was not amused to see it flashing across the screen first thing in the morning.

Then Tom kept asking me what I was doing throughout the morning.

I’d go into the kitchen.

“Whatcha doing?” he’d wonder.

I’d go upstairs.

“Whatcha doing?” he’d question.

If he wasn’t doing that, he was hogging the computer. We’re probably the only household in America who doesn’t have wireless set up. So the only way I can get on the Internet is via our computer. And my husband likes to play online games so he’d be on there for a few hours and I’d get angrier and angrier by the minute.

Finally I had had enough. I went over and plopped down on the computer chair even though it was currently occupied by Tom.

“Excuse me?” Tom said as I settled down.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said lightly. “I didn’t realize you were still on here. Being that you’ve been on here for over two hours, I thought that for sure you’d be gone by now.”

Tom mumbled something. I overheard “psychotic wife” but I let it go since he eventually got up so I could check my e-mail.

Then when I got off the computer Tom was following me around again.

“Okay Tom, you know how you said that Friday was Family Fun day? Well, I’m here to say that I’m NOT HAVING FUN!” I shrieked.

I said I was going to see a movie a few minutes later. I needed out of the house.

I went to see All About Steve which was an odd movie. I munched on my popcorn slathered in butter as I watched the strange turn of events unfold. Bradley Cooper, he’s easy on the eyes but he’s too much of a pretty boy for me.

As I was driving home it started to rain. This was followed by hail. I gripped the wheel because I hate driving in foul weather. Plus I was worried that the hail would damage my poor car. When I pulled up in front of the house my plan was to wait until the rain dissipated because at that point, it was still coming down in streams. I watched as drops bounced off the windshield and reached over to take a handful of leftover popcorn.

I was too busy enjoying the buttery goodness that I didn’t even see Tom come out of the house. Then I heard a thumping against my window and I screamed and nearly choked on a kernel.

Tom was standing there holding his jacket over his head to protect himself from the rain.

He had come out to bring me inside so I wouldn’t get wet.

Suddenly I felt bad for getting irritated with him. He doesn’t mean it. He just, I don’t know, loves me or something. And I’m grateful for it, of course I am, but I’m an Only Child and am just used to silence. And alone time.

“You came for me!” I said and then realized Tom couldn’t hear. He was still standing there, motioning for me to get out.

I cracked open my door. “You came for me!” I said again. I threw my arms around his neck and he stumbled backwards. He couldn’t return my hug because he was busy holding the jacket up.

“Can we do this inside?” Tom asked as the hail pinged down around us.

“We could kiss in the rain,” I suggested. The movies make this look so romantic but it’s really not. Tom and I kissed in the rain once and a big drop went down my back and caused me to screech in Tom’s poor ear. But still, I imagine that was just a fluke. Surely kissing in the rain can be romantic.

“Amber, it’s not only raining, it’s hailing,” Tom reminded me as a ball hit his shoe.

True. Suppose a piece of hail went down my back this time? That would probably hurt.

So Tom and I walked towards the front door with our makeshift umbrella above us. When we got inside I gave Tom a kiss.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” I said.

Tom grinned. “I’d come and get you anytime.”

Awww! Romance! I knew Tom had a romantic side to him, I just knew it! Even though he totally scratches his balls in front of me but no matter!. This proves that—

“Now how about thanking me properly?” Tom added, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

Oh geez.


  1. I love the cute. But I so know what you mean about alone time, as I sit in my bedroom pretending to be asleep. I am on the laptop as you see...gotta get wireless.

    And I am with you on pretty boys...not my fave.

  2. Aww that's cute. I want to see that movie, but I think it's only because Bradley Cooper is gorgeous. You don't have wireless? $40 for a wireless router and you are good to go! You will never look back!

  3. I totally saw that one coming. No good deed goes unpunished ~wink!

    It was very sweet though.

    My husband has worked from home the whole 16 years we've been married. We have 2 computers.

  4. Aww cute!

    Bradley Cooper is HOT. I love him!


  5. LMAO! Give him an inch, and he'll ... give you a few back. ;) Too funny!

  6. I used to go to the movies all the time by myself! I should start going again. Sometimes my dh will go with me but we can hardly ever agree on a movie.

  7. I've never been to the movies alone but after reading this, it might be my new form of "me" time.

  8. Luckily my husband can amuse himself without following me around. He's retired and spends his time watching tv, reading, or surfing the net. And therein lies the problem. We have two computers in the trailer, but if WI-FI is not available at the campgrounds that we stay in, then I am SOL, because he is a computer HOG. We have an air-card for the large computer, so if we have cell service, then we have internet. If there is WI-FI available, I am as happy a a pig in doo-doo 'cause I can be on the lap top for as long as I want to.

    That was real sweet of Tom to meet you at the car. Really.

  9. I want my alone time, too.

    Bradley Cooper in "Wedding Crashers" (short hair, preppy clothes) = pretty boy. Doesn't do anything for me.

    Bradley Cooper in "The Hangover" (longer hair, stubble, well-cut suit) = MOUTHWATERING. I could eat him up in one gulp. YUM.

  10. You did leave the door wide open for that one. DOing something romantic means in a mans world that sex should be coming. ;)

  11. I laughed at the end, but I was getting all frustrated at the beginning. I know how you feel. I can't stand it when my husband is home for too many days in a row. He really invades my privacy. What are we going to do when we are old and he retires? I shudder at the thought.

  12. I dread Thanksgiving weekend for the same reason - what is he doing in my house for so many days in a row?!

    Thankfully we have a laptop that we use for email and other online things, and a computer in the basement that he can play his games on. Not only is he out of my hair, he is on another floor of the house - bonus!

    It was very sweet that Tom rescued you from the hail. I know my Jim would do that too. Oh, and I don't like pretty boys either!

  13. JUST when he had redeemed himself . . . LOL! :)

  14. I know what you mean...this 3 day weekend thing has about killed me. And I love my husband. I just feel like I have to keep him entertained or something.

  15. This sounds very familiar... Before we had kids my husband followed me everywhere. I got in the habit of always announcing when I had to use the bathroom - just so he wouldn't follow me there. Annoying - but also very sweet.

  16. I totally relate. Conrad does the same thing when he's home. "What are you doing?" I used to hate when I was on the elliptical and he'd say conversationally, "So how long you doing that for?" Gah! I don't want to explain my every move!

  17. OMG I knew he was up to no good. What else does a man want to do after too many days off work.

  18. Moves are difficult. We moved here NC) from Mi. in Feb. My poor furniture is battle fatiqued from moves.

    Tom's a keeper...stinky feet and all. I once posted about men not connecting the dots. One of my favorite bloggers, Wreggie, from I'm Always on Vacation, commented that the dots are invisable female dots and men do not even see them. Amen!

  19. Oh yeah, romantic gestures of any kind are foreplay. Still, though...

  20. Ha! I knew he had ulterior motives. Men are very consistent!

  21. Sounds like a man, there's always an sexual innuendo in there.

  22. Every once in a while they do something that reminds us why we have them around...and then they blow it.
    Great post!

  23. Wiggles his eyebrows at this entry -


  24. so funny... but so so sweet! sometimes they'll certainly surprise ya!!

  25. when my husband walks in on me alone, i just say WHAT?? WHAT D'YA WANT? DON'T YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE ELSE TO GO? i need my me time too.

    thanks for visiting me at SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB. appreciated it! hope you come back to visit sometime!

  26. they just cant do anything without being "thanked" that way can they??!! lol

  27. Men! Why is it that any little kindness means, for them, instant booty call? Hilarious!

  28. OMG! I think our husbands are related! LOL. I feel your pain. :) Been there, still there.

  29. LOL!!!

    Ohmygosh I could have totally written this same post. Four days with my husband up my asscrack like a bad thong. Oh.Joy.

    But today is Tuesday and they are all gone, all day - yipppeeeeee!!!!! I'm sure I'll be happy when they come home later, but for now, I'M FREE!!!!!!!!

    Also an only child. Also like silence and alone time. Most people just don't get it.

  30. LMAO...great post!

    I too enjoy family time, but days on end just drives me nuts...

    Loved the wigiling of the eybrows...

    Sassy Chcia

  31. I think our husbands would be great would we...they sound a lot alike...and your reactions are eerily similar to mine!

  32. Great writing! Thanks for swinging by my "yearbook" post the other day.

    Hope the move goes well. Have a great week!

  33. Men expect rewards for the smallest things!

  34. Brace yourself, I think your husband is AN ALIEN. Ok. Maybe mine is just a jerk for never coming to get me out of the car when it was hailing. It actually happens here a lot. I can't remember the last nice thing the guy did for me on his own without a visual aide telling him to do so or God forbid being asked. Seriously, I think your hubby is an alien. :)

    You are incredibly lucky, and you make me happy when I read your posts.


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