Friday, November 6, 2009

Silence is Bliss?

Tom and I were able to go on a date Monday since Tom’s Mom was visiting.

We decided on lunch and a movie.

Sometimes it’s hard to agree on a movie. Tom likes movies where things blow up and guts go flying across the room. I like movies where a woman and a man try to find one another. Granted, I do like other movies. For instance, I love movies with aliens in them but I think they terrify Tom. I also love movies like Austin Powers and Billy Madison. You know, movies that really don’t make a lot of sense but are hilarious?

The good news is, Tom and I could agree on a movie. We figured we’d go see Couples Retreat.

Before that we went to lunch at this small Italian place. It’s awesome. They have authentic Italian food. I ordered the Vodka Rigatoni and tried not to eat too much of the bread they put out beforehand. But it’s so hard! The bread is warm and delicious and…heck, I ended up eating more than I can remember. The thing is, I realized that Tom and I were barely saying a word to each other. So I suddenly banged my hand down on the table and went,


This caught Tom’s attention. Before he had been staring intently at a painted picture of a vine.

“No what?” he asked.

“We can’t already be one of those couples who have nothing to say to each other. So…how is your job going?” I said.

Tom raised an eyebrow. “You know how it’s going. I’ve already told you.”

“Work with me here, Tom.”

“I would if you asked a good question. Why am I going to waste my breath answering a question you already know the answer to?” Tom wondered as he popped another piece of bread into his mouth.

I sighed. “I just don’t want to sit here in silence.”

Tom shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me. I’m enjoying it. We don’t have a kid screeching at us for once. So let’s just sit back and enjoy the quiet.”

I shook my head. “No! The whole point of getting out alone is getting to talk without interruptions. So…tell me something interesting.”

Tom frowned. “Well. This olive oil dip is really good,” he finally said, motioning to the bowl in front of us.

I sighed again. “No! About your life. What’s something that you haven’t told me?” I leaned forward expectantly.

Tom looked perplexed. “Well,” he said slowly. “I need a new pair of pants.”

Good gracious.

Thankfully our food came then. Another silence lapsed but this time it was because we were too busy stuffing our faces. We’re big food people, you see. We don’t like taking a bite, swallowing, talking, and then having to wait forever to take another bite.

My vodka rigatoni was delicious. I was in the middle of moaning because it was so good when the waiter came back to refill our drinks.

“Oh my. Should I leave you alone?” he joked.

I chewed happily. “I’m okay,” I assured him. “This is just so good.”

I really need to learn how to cook better. I mean, I suppose I could but to be honest, I hate cooking and I think being in the kitchen is a waste of my time. I wish I had a passion for it. I have a passion for eating, obviously.

After we ate we headed to the movie theater.

The guy behind the concession counter appeared to be a little bored. When we approached he said in a monotone, “If you buy a large popcorn and drink, you can get a commemorative Twilight glass.”

I made a face. “No thank you.”

This is when he lit up. “Do you not like Twilight?” he practically demanded. I thought he was going to leap over the counter and grab my collar.

“Er…not really,” I admitted and then shuffled a bit behind Tom in case the guy lost it.

But no. Instead he shouted, “Tamara! Get out here! I found one! You owe me five bucks!”

And then another worker walked out from the back with the same bored expression.

“I found one. I told you I’d find one today. She doesn’t like Twilight,” the guy told her, pointing at me frantically.

It was the strangest thing. But the good thing was, I didn’t have to pay for my butter salt. Apparently now they want to charge you $1.50 for it but the guy was all, “Since you earned me five bucks, you can have it for free.”


See? It pays to not like Twilight, I tell you.

And guess what? They showed a preview for New Moon and Tom and I both went, “Boooo!” at the same time when it popped up.

Of course then we heard this chick sitting in the back go, “Who said that?” and I motioned for Tom to slide down in his seat with me.

“Twihards can be scary,” I whispered. “It’s best to keep quiet now.”

(I’m not kidding about the scary Twihards either. See, I post over at this clothing forum, right? I went into a Twilight thread because apparently some drama broke out because people bashed Twilight or something and I was just telling them that I meant no harm when I made fun of Twilight since I have this compulsion to have everyone like me. Some ladies were downright mean and told me to go back to my blog and write about my dirty laundry. Some were normal and thanked me for my message but sheesh, there are some nutters, I tell you…I mean, do they realize they’re getting all bent out of shape over TWILIGHT? These are grown ladies I’m talking about. If they were teenagers I’d get it because their brains haven’t formed all the way yet. But adults? I’m still at a loss…)

Anyhow, Tom chuckled softly over my scary Twihards comment.

So yeah, maybe we don’t always have something to say to each other. But we work. Our relationship works.

And that’s all that really matters.


  1. TwiHards! That is awesome. I am sorry but will have to steal it in the future. I have some Twihards in my life too. Ouch, watch what you say, messing with them can sting.

  2. I can't dis the Twihards too much since i may or may not have read the books. *innocent*

    But more importantly - A buck and a half for butter?! That there's crazy talk!

  3. Never heard of the term Twihards before!

  4. Twihards... haha!

    I went to the premier of The Half Blood Prince (Harry Potter is so totally better than Twilight) and the New Moon trailor came on. The entire theatre started booing. So funny.

  5. My hubs and I have those silent moments too and I think the same thing...when did we run out of things to say?!

    I have only read the first Twilight book and it was eh, nothing to speak of really...not enough to get me to read the rest of them anyway. And the movie was awful

  6. A comfortable silence can be a very good thing indeed!

    I'm glad you earned the guy his

  7. LOL at Twihards! I'm glad you got free butter and earned that nice young man $5! For what its worth, I don't understand the whole Twilight fascination either.

  8. First silence is okay for a relationship if it's comfortable. You know like when you can just sit there and enjoy just being together. Yeah, I know, I usually fall asleep then too. It's when the silence is awkward and you look across the table at the guy and think "who are you?" that there might be a problem. Lol.

    As for Twilight, maybe it's not for everyone. But if you haven't read the books, you really can't knock them. I'm a grown up (hahahha, yeah right!) and I bought the first one for my daughter and ended up reading it. It was actually very good. And I read the rest. And enjoyed them. She took a couple of very old concepts ie; star crossed young lovers and vampires and put a whole new twist on them. Maybe people are writing it off as fluff because they aren't looking deeper? As a writer and former bookseller, let me just say I've read way worse. And don't go by the movies. They are never as good as the book.


    PS-our big dates usually consist of dinner and grocery shopping. Oh yeah, we know how to keep it hott. =]

  9. And you two know how to have fun together! :)

  10. Its those little intimite moments and shared personal jokes that makes a relationship comfy...sounds like you have it!

    You don't need to say much, as long as you make each other smile.

  11. Sounds like a wonderful time! Makes me want a date night next week for Jon's birthday. May have to call MIL. How long do I need for dinner, movie and ahem? Sorry, thinking on your blog.

    So don't hate me, but I like ya and all, and I won't hold it against you or anything, and please return the favor and all that, but I like Twilight. *hides* I'm not hardcore though. Like I don't dream of doing sparkly men. Jon is lucky if I dream of doing him. :D

  12. i always say to too that as long as that silence is comfy.. that's all that matters!

    have a great wkend!

  13. Twihards..LOL! Love the term, even though it probably applies to me :) I really love the books, a twist on an old theme (just like Spot said) but it is not for everyone. I do have a couple friends who have at least read the first book and were completely uninterested still. I am not a fan of the first movie though, didn't hold a candle to the book.

  14. I love Italian food too! That warm bread and olive oil dip is to die for! Thank goodness for doggie bags. BTW, how was the movie? Did you like Couples Retreat? Oh, and Twihards is just TOO funny! They are scary, aren't they?

  15. Silences aren't bad if they are comfortable. And sometimes it IS nice not to have to yell at the kids, etc.

    I'm not into the whole Twilight thing, either. I didn't understand the fuss when I saw the movie. Maybe the books are better.

    After watching True Blood, I don't think Twilight can compare. :)

  16. I'm not a twilight fan either!

    I read the first book and it was okay, but it's just not my thing.

    I thought I was the only one.

  17. I actually have read all the books, and I have to say, they really aren't that good.

    Personally, I call them TwiTards.

    Did I go there? Yes, I did.

  18. You guys are a hoot! I had no idea Twilight fans were killers.

  19. Silence can be a good thing. My ex never shut up and I would find myself across from him in a restaurant going "shutup, shutup shutup" in my head the whole time he was talking.

    As far as those books go I thought they were ok. Next time you meet a Twihard tell them "and then Buffy staked Edward".

  20. We've been like that for years. It's all good, though. Because, like you said, the relationship works. Don't sweat it. Now, if Tom stops groping you in the middle of the night, you may have a problem.

  21. My hubby and I is like this too. We don't talk much, unless its important, but we work. And that is all that matters.

  22. You two are brave to boo the New Moon preview. Those TwiHards will cut a bitch.

  23. I think you know you've reached a good point in your relationship where you CAN sit together in silence and it isn't awkward.

    I don't like Twilight either. If we had been at the movie together, we could have totally won that guy ten bucks and then maybe the whole popcorn would've been free!

  24. Yep, I'm with you on the "don't get the Twilight" thing-- it's not for me. But as usual, I can't see people getting so crazy-hostile about somebody else not liking what they like... What's up with that???

  25. But what about Tom's new pants. . . is he getting them???

  26. Never heard of that before!.
    Happy Weekend!!

  27. Came back! Betty is for Betty over at:

  28. I just heard this expression for the first time yesterday!

  29. You are a hoot!! Stop by my place for a glass of lemonade! You have an award!

  30. I'm a nice Twihard...I don't understand the mean ones!!

  31. I understand your fear of being too comfortable that you don't really talk anymore! But like you, being comfortable sort of works too! That probably doesn't make sense unless you've been happily married for a while, lol!

  32. I'm with you guys, sistah... I have a passion for eating and I tend to make passionate noises as I eat as well.

    As far as the first book waaay before anyone else. It took me 3 months to finish, because I was bored with it. Then, 6 months later, came the craze...
    "OMG! Did you read the Twilight book???"

    I was wayyyyy beyond it then. But, I thought I'd get back into it and bought the next two books. Unfortunately I read to page 20 of the second book, never to pick it up again.

    So, I'm noo Twihard. Not a bit.

  33. And I'd like to add one more thing...
    You CRACK ME UP.
    I frequently find myself laughing out loud while reading your posts. LOVES IT!

  34. Ha! I like twilight.. But i am not obsessed wit it at all. Just like the movie! Looks like you had a good time even with out the talking!

  35. Sometimes I actually like going out to dinner and saying nothing.

  36. I'm gonna have to steal Twihards too. I really don't get the hoopla about it with grown women either. It's absolutely ridiculous. You and your hubby sound a lot like me and mine.

  37. Twihards...LOL

    If it makes you feel any better, we've only been married for two years, don't have kids, and have already hit that "um...yeah, nothing to talk about" stage.

  38. Well, Corey and I do the same thing when we go out to eat. Makes us wonder what'll happen when the kids leave the house!

  39. I hate Twilight. And not because I've ever actually seen it... I hate it simply because of the lunatic fans. Because of that, I have no interest in wasting my time on something that draws such a nutty crowd.

    I am so glad you guys had some date time!!! My husband I grab every opportunity we have for some time away, which isn't often!

  40. Ha! My husband and I went went out to dinner last night for the first time in a long time and I felt the same thing. I laughed at him when he was looking around the restaurant instead of talking to me:) But it was still loads of fun to be out together.

  41. Glad you were able to get some time away! I know that was nice, even if there wasn't a whole lot to talk about. I find now that I have a child, when Stephen and I get to go out alone, we don't have much to talk about except our daughter. Go figure. The whole point of getting out alone is to get away from her!

  42. Comfortable silence can be a good thing! :) it! I'm not a Twilight fan, either. I haven't been bitten yet to cross over to the dark side. ;)

  43. I confess I've been bitten by the Twilight bug (will you still like me?). The books aren't great literature or anything to be sure, but they are a fabulous escape from my boring existence.

    p.s. something 4 u over at my bloggedy blog!

  44. My daughter hates Twilight too. Sometimes she embarrasses me when we go shopping and she sees something Twilight-ish. She makes such a big deal!

    My husband and I don't have much to talk about when we're alone either. It's perfectly normal! Right?

  45. My last post would make me out to be a Twihard I guess.. Maybe a Twifirm, not soft but firm. The escape and pretty boys and so many women on board with the mayhem.. why the heck not. But to each his own... I don't get U2.. and U2hards wanna take me down. I dont get Dan Brown-hards either..

  46. The thing I love most about my marriage is that we can just shut up and be.

  47. I'm glad you enjoyed your time alone together! I got to spend yesterday with a kid. Yea . . . Made me really glad I don't have any.

  48. We have moments like that too but I don't mind. Sometimes it's nice to have my own thoughts.

    I read the books; I liked the books but I am NOT a Twihard. I don't swoon over that dirty haired boy Rob and I don't own any bandaids with their faces plastered on them. For Heaven's sake...

  49. Down with Twilight. I'm going to tell them I hate it next time I go to the movie and see if it works for me!

  50. Thanks for the smile and chuckle I got from reading this!



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