I had just made a Facebook update about it, for God’s sake.
But it was true.
I had forgotten to put my son in green for St. Patrick’s Day.
And he had just left for the bus stop clad in jeans and a blue shirt.
That just would NOT do.
Kids are horrible, horrible creatures these days. And my son bruises easily. Yeah, teachers would probably make an announcement saying that pinching was not allowed. But kids are sneaky and pinches would most definitely sneak in.
I couldn’t let that happen to Tommy.
So I ran at top speed to his room and yanked a green shirt down from the closet. I was panting heavily as I did this which proves how out of shape I am. I ran outside, thinking that Tommy would already be at the bus stop. But no. He was still in our driveway, observing something in the grass. Thank God for his ADHD. It’s why I send him out to the bus stop early because I know he’ll totally take his time since he gets distracted so easily.
He’s sort of like those shirts that say “They say I have ADHD but I don’t think so—hey, a chicken!”
“Tommy!” I shouted, gripping the shirt triumphantly over my head. “Tommy, I found you a green shirt. I FOUND YOU A GREEN SHIRT!”
Woah. Calm down, Amber. I was all pumped up from the rush.
Tommy stared at me with wide eyes.
“What are you DOING?” He did not look happy to see me which I found to be a little rude. Did he not SEE that I had a green shirt with me? And that with the green shirt I was saving him from potential pinches? Okay, I’d have been mortified if my Mom had done this. But my mind wasn’t thinking clearly since it was the morning and all. Have I mentioned that I am NOT a morning person? I’m either half asleep or I’m....spazzing out.
“I found you a green shirt, Tommy. You’re not wearing green. So…” I started lifting off his old shirt because he only had a few minutes left until the bus came.
Tommy held his old shirt down. “MOM. I can’t change here. There are PEOPLE…” And he nodded towards the group of kids waiting at the bus stop across the street. Most were talking and didn’t even know what was going on with us. But a couple were gazing over with interest. One girl shouted, “You okay, Tommy?” What, if he had said no would she have run over and taken me down? (She probably could. I’m also weak first thing in the morning.)
“Fine. Behind your Dad’s truck,” I said, pulling him over.
“But I don’t want—”
“Green shirt, no pinches, green shirt, no pinches,” I chanted. Why wasn’t he freaked out over the prospect of pinches? Did he forget that he bruises easily? Maybe I was traumatized because one time I didn’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day and this awful kid named Gert pinched me so hard that I had a gross welt on my arm for over a week.
Tommy reluctantly took his old shirt off and put the green one on.
“There,” he said, hoisting his backpack onto his shoulders. “I’m going now.”
“You’re welcome!” I said pointedly.
Tommy blinked at me.
“Say cheese!” I said and brought out the camera.
“MO-OM!”
“Say cheese!”
Doesn’t Tommy just look thrilled?
Oh well.
At least he didn’t get pinched.
hehehe! Good for you!! Luckily we stayed home all day yesterday because well...not only did I forget to put my children in green(one actually had green on by default), I didn't put green on myself! Not that I have anything green anyway, but that's besides the point. Hooray for St Patty's day...being over!
ReplyDeleteLol..."Mom...there are PEOPLE"...hehaha so funny!~ Good thing you saved him...kids can be crazy...I like the post...have a great day!
ReplyDeleteThat would've been terrible.... But I saw quite a few kids not wearing green yesterday!
ReplyDeleteYou saved him from a day of pinching!
ReplyDeleteI was actually surprised at all the people I saw not wearing green yesterday. I wanted to pinch a co-worker that I really dislike since she had no green, but I would have left a Gert sized welt on her.
ReplyDeleteI had the same kind of moment with the hubby yesterday when I realized that he has to wear his Schwan's uniform no matter what and it contains no green. I made him wear green underwear and promise not to show them to any of the desperate housewives on his route!
I can so see myself doing this to Roxy when she gets older!! Unfortunately for my husband, he was the one to get pinched yesterday. I made sure the little one had on green and I did, too, but he wasn't so fortunate. I was nice though. He was the only person I pinched all day. :)
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of the pinching thing until this year!!! And yes...pinching occured. Boo.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Poor kid...and you. But he is lucky! I got pinched once in school, even when I was wearing green, and I still haven't forgotten (or forgiven). So pinching makes me nervous!
ReplyDeleteHahaha- I remembered the night before thankfully.
ReplyDeletegeeezzzzz mom! You think he's bad now, just wait til he hits the teen years....grrrrrr!
ReplyDeleteLove the ADHD T-shirt saying...I need to get one of those for Kyle!
You are hilarious...and that totally sounds like something I would do, tee hee! He does look thrilled ;)
ReplyDeleteYou should have a book or something...do you already and I'm way behind?
Jamie :)
p.s. I don't know why I can't leave a comment with my typepad...so I'm leaving it with my blogger account?
I took the time to PULL out a green shirt for each of my girls the night before because if I left it to my hubby (currently a stay-at-home-dad) he would have dressed them in purple or something. And what happens? My older girl decides to wear the shirt I pulled out for her sister that was a size too small! And her poor sister was left with nothing...so I came home to a kid with her wrists sticking out and her belly exposed and another kids dressed in...wait for it...purple.
ReplyDeleteSigh...
I'm so glad you remembered!! Those pinches hurt. We all wore green. Because we pinch hard at my house. Of course my 16 yr old only wore plaid boxers so he had to keep pulling his pants down to prove it. I'm pretty sure he planned it that way. 16 yr old boys are gross.
ReplyDelete♥Spot
Are you sure it wasn't a regular Tuesday and Gert pinched the sh@# out of your arm because she was jealous you had a pretty name and she ended up stuck with em-effing GERT??? I mean, really??? GERT??? LoL!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think Gert should have been pinched just having the name Gert. Parents can be so dumb sometimes when naming their children. My husband was almost Percy.
ReplyDeleteHAHA! Someday he will realize how lucky he is to have a mom like you!
ReplyDeleteI remember in HS and JH there was always one girl who was like "oh..I 'forgot' to wear green..." *rollseyes* I made damn sure my kids wore green too!
Amber you are the best Mom! I love his look like WTF! Classic!
ReplyDeleteThere is yet another memory you'll have etched into your mind forever. :) He'll laugh about that when he gets older I bet!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy doesn't that little blond boy have the biggest smile on his face since he obviously has the MOTHER OF THE YEAR? This is hilarious! Love the picture of "Mom... Why?"
ReplyDeleteYou totally win mother of the year in my book. Silly Tommy. I will thank you for him:)
ReplyDeleteThat picture made me laugh out loud. His look is priceless.
ReplyDeleteSurprised he didn't pinch you for stripping him outside! My 16 wore a blue shirt to school. I think he liked the pinches.
ReplyDeleteYou did good. He wouldn't have been happy to get pinched all day.
ReplyDeleteI thought the 16th was St. Pats day and got into a panic at work because I hadn't put the kids in green. I was ready to go home and get them a change of clothes when I remembered what a fool I am.
Geeze mom, you are SOOOO embarrassing!
ReplyDeleteIts a good thing. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, and THAT makes us happy. . .
ReplyDeleteReminds me of that commercial *no pinch no pinch"
Someday he will thank you for it
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! I did the same thing, but minus the picture. One twin I just had to put an undershirt on since it was a bit cold and he didn't want to wear his sweatshirt (so people could see the green one), made him strip outside (yeah, in the cold, geez I'm pathetic). The other twin didn't care if he had anything green so I drew a shamrock on his hand in green high-liter. They survived with no pinches (even the one whose shamrock washed off at his first hand-washing). However, i forgot to warn my poor 15-year-old. Teens are brutal when pinching, apparently Gert had a lot of offspring and they go to my son's school. Needless to say, I was doing some serious sucking up to him when I picked him up after school. I vow, that some year, I will have all my kids in green on St. Patrick's Day.
ReplyDeleteSome day he will appreciate the effort you go through!
ReplyDeletewell.. personally..
ReplyDeletei happen to think you are a great mom to even think to care..
one day he will SO THANK YOU for this!!!
ha ha! Great story! You are the best story tell EV-ER!
ReplyDelete:)
Disaster averted, but now Tommy is going to need therapy to cope with the fact that his mother stripped him in front of PEOPLE...
ReplyDelete;-)
Shelly
PS I made the effort of dressing my children in green but it was all for nothing, because no one really cares about St Pat's Day here in Cairns--except the drinkers in the pubs with their green beer maybe.
My kids don't have school on St. Patricks day, it's also Evacuation Day here and it's a county holiday. They did both wear green though!
ReplyDeleteI never wore green much when I was a kid on St. Patricks day because I have red hair and freckles and figure I'm pretty identifiable as Irish any day of the week!
I never heard of the pinching thing though, so that may have made me change my mind!
When bad Mums turn good? hahah
ReplyDeletePoor little fella just didn't know what he had facin' him walkin' into school in a blue shirt on 'green day!" Someday he'll thank you for it 'cause kids ARE mean!!!
ReplyDeleteGod bless and have yourself a fantastic day! Great pic of your handsome little Tommy Dude!!!!
I, too, chant out loud. :) Maybe it's an "awesome Mom" thing. ??
ReplyDeleteOutside, little Tommy may have seemed unappreciative, but inside, he was glowing with pride that he had such an awesome Mom! :)
Can you guys become a series soon... please? You really tell a perfect story, though, so I'd miss you in "print." So funny you are. (Woah, I turned into Yoda.)
ReplyDeleteAW! He does look thrilled. I find the funniest part is that you tried to strip him in the driveway. People indeed. Too cute!
ReplyDeleteSomeday he'll thank you. Maybe. Probably. No he won't, but you feel better right?
ReplyDeleteLOL he looks so confused, like "What just happened??" Glad he didn't get pinched!
ReplyDeleteWhew! That was a close call! Good thing you were on the ball! Super Mommy to the rescue!
ReplyDeleteLOL @ you running after him with green shirt. My boys were dressed in red instead of green. I decided to pretend like they were wearing green and challenge anyone who said they weren't and claim to be color blind.
ReplyDeleteSo not politically correct, I know.
it's also Evacuation Day here and it's a county holiday. They did both wear green though!
ReplyDeletefree internet jobs
Go mom! I found your blog through a lady who follows your blog. Love your posts. I'm a follower now too. You did to your son what I would've done too.
ReplyDeleteStoppin by from SITS.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to your daughter!! You totally embarrassed your son :) That is awesome.
LOL. Awww. MaMa to the rescue! Good job! <3 You'l thank your Mother later Tommy..trust me! :0)
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that every post iread from ur blog makes my stomach Hirt from laughing so hard.
ReplyDeletePinches? They pinch ya if you don't wear green?
ReplyDeleteWow.. I didn't know that... that explains all the pinches I got...
Ohhhh mannnnnnnn...