When Monkeys Attack

So fine, I don’t like waking up early.

It’s probably why I nearly bit my husband when he woke me up yesterday. We were leaving early for the Denver Zoo. Tom is big on getting on the road early so we can get to places right when they open, thus avoiding crowds. Have I mentioned that Tom hates large crowds? I thought he was going to burst into tears and shout, "Who are all these people?!" when we went to Disney World a few times.

“Did you just try to BITE me?” Tom asked incredulously after he had shaken me awake.

Had I? Oh. I hadn’t even realized that I had done that. It was just my immediate reaction, I guess.

I rolled out of bed. Sat on the end of it blinking a few times. Went, “What’s this?” when Natalie went barreling into me. Tom went, “That’s our daughter.” Right. My mind isn’t fully awake in the morning.

We stopped off at the shoppette to get gas and caffeine. When I slid out of my seat Tom looked shocked.

“Where are you going?”

“Caffeine,” I croaked. “Now.”

I shuffled inside. Nearly ran into a soldier. Then I nearly ran into a display of chips.

“Caffeine,” I said again, heading for the fountain drinks. I grabbed a cup and put it against the ice toggle. Nothing came out. Diet coke is NOTHING without ice. I’m sorry, but it’s really not.

“Ice,” I said to passing worker. “Ice please?”

“Yeah, we’ll get that in a few,” I was told.

A FEW?! Did this woman not comprehend that I needed caffeine in my system NOW?

In the end I had to get the diet coke without the ice. It wasn’t the same but at least I got my caffeine. Halfway to the zoo I was all, “I’m so excited!” and Tom went, “Oh, you’re nice now?” and I answered, “Yes, thanks to the power of caffeine!”

We got to the Denver Zoo and parked. We went with Amanda’s family, by the way. We grabbed a zoo map and started wandering around. Tommy loved the python. He was all, “Pythons can eat PIGS, Mom!”





Most of the animals were sleeping. Maybe because it was Sunday, the day of rest? So most of the animals we saw were passed out.

Some were up at least.





Weird buffalos weren’t. Natalie did not like them. At first she was all, “I yike dis thing.” Then she buried her face in Tom’s shoulder and went, “I don’t yike dis thing anymore.”

Then we saw some monkeys.

And this is where things got interesting.



Natalie was standing up against the glass (don't worry, this was allowed) and I guess her ultra adorable zoo outfit offended the monkey. He was probably all, “Why are there GIRAFFES on your shirt and not monkeys?” (By the way, Tom mocked me for even putting Natalie in a zoo outfit and I said a lot of people put kids in zoo outfits when they go to the zoo. Tom said no, I was the only weird one. So every time I passed a kid in a zoo outfit I went, “Zoo outfit. Zoo outfit. Oh, another zoo outfit.” So many kids were in Gymboree!)

Anyhow, where was I?

Oh yeah, the scary monkey.

It ran up to the glass and started pounding on it.





Natalie freaked out.

“Da monkey is MEAN. I don’t YIKE da monkey!” she yelled.

But did I come to her rescue? No, I was too busy laughing. And taking pictures. (Hey, I knew she was safe..)

I feel bad now. (I made up for the whole laughing thing by buying Natalie an ICEE. All was forgiven after that.)

Seriously though, that monkey does look scary.

Now Natalie is all, “Da monkey scared me.”



Other animals made her happy though.

So to sum up, we had a fun trip.



Tom made friends with a goose.



Tommy made friends with a peacock.



Natalie made friends with a peacock.



And we made enemies out of a group of monkeys.



Zoos rock.