Monday, December 13, 2010

Tangled and Nachos

Maybe it wasn’t a great idea.

But I had a craving for nachos so dammit, I was going to try.

“Now, listen to me,” I said as I drove the car. I peeked in the rearview mirror at my kids. “You both have to behave. If you get out of your seats and run around, we’re going home. If you yell at any part of the movie, we’re going home. The only time it’s acceptable to shout during a movie is when Elijah Wood, John Krasinksi or Torrance Coombs appear for the first time but only briefly, for no more than three seconds, otherwise it’s rude. No throwing popcorn, no putting your feet up against the seat in front of you, because I hate when people do that to me. Okay?” I parked in front of the movie theater and faced the kids.

Tommy tapped his chin. “So we can only yell if Elijah Woods, John Kaka, or Torrance Comb comes on the screen?”

I sighed. “Tommy, it’s Elijah Wood, John Krasinski and Torrance Coombs. And yes, that’s correct.”

Tommy shrugged. “Okay. I’ll be good.”

He wasn’t who I was worried about. I was worried about the little terror who sat comfortably in her cow print Britax grinning at me as though she had an evil plan up her sleeve. It’s amusing how petrified of a three-year-old I can get. I mean, I’m taller than her, much older, therefore I should have the upper hand, right? But no. She has super lungs that make her yell extra loud, and she’s faster than any kid I’ve seen. She’ll be down the street before I can blink.

“Are you going to be good, Natalie?” I narrowed my eyes, trying to look like a scary mother.

“I’ll be good,” Natalie promised, but she’s promised me that before and then mayhem ensued.

“If you aren’t good, Rapunzel is going to be upset,” I said. I know it’s wrong to lie, but a mother has to do what a mother has to do.

And yes. We were seeing that Tangled movie.

“No, she won’t. Rapunzel likes me,” Natalie said matter-of-factly. She believes that everyone likes her, mainly because people usually comment on how pretty/well dressed/ well behaved (ha, snort!) she is when I take her out in public.

“Only if you listen while watching her movie,” I answered. “She’s not going to be pleased if you make noises while she’s trying to sing.”

“I’ll be good,” Natalie repeated.

So into the theater we went. I forked over an insane amount of money for the three of us, and then went to get my beloved nachos.

Plus a seven dollar bag of popcorn for the kids to share.

Plus drinks.

By the time we finished, I felt I paid one of our car payments.

“Up front!” Natalie said, as we went to find our seats. The strange kid actually wanted to sit in the very front, the seats where you have to crane your neck to see.

“I think not.” I nodded my head towards the middle. “We’re sitting here.”

“Oh, fine,” Natalie sighed.

We settled down, and I handed the kids their 3D glasses.

“I don’t like this. I want pink,” Natalie said primly, handing them back.

“They only have them in black.”

“I want pink,” Natalie said, neck high, as though she were a Princess herself.

“There is no pink,” I said, feeling my patience start to wear thin.

“No glasses then,” Natalie said, getting comfortable in her seat. “No glasses.”

“Fine. The movie will look funny, but fine. No glasses. I just want to enjoy my nachos and my overpriced diet coke.” I took a bite out of a chip and sighed with pleasure. Nachos are so good.

“Mommy,” Natalie said as I bit into a cheese covered chip. “I have to pee.”

“I knew it!” Tommy yelled, throwing his hands in the air. “We can’t go anywhere without her having to pee!”

So of course I had to take Tommy with us, because hello, a darkened theater is just asking for someone to swipe him. I left all our food there and hoped that no one would eat it. Into the bathroom we went, where Natalie hummed a song and took her time. She produced a squirt of pee, and took five minutes washing her hands, so by the time we made it back, the movie was about ready to start.

And yes, our food was still there.

Thank goodness.

The movie was entertaining, although someone brought a loud baby to see it. And this baby clearly wasn’t interested, because it kept yelping every few minutes. I get that children’s movies mean that there could be some noisy kids, but honestly, if the kid keeps it up, please remove it. I’m not about to fork over a bunch of money to hear Junior carry on.

Both of my kids behaved. Natalie refused to wear her non-pink glasses but still seemed to like the movie.

Only Tommy had an issue with the romantic scenes and he said if we bought the movie on DVD that he’s just fast forward to the good parts.

Typical male.


  1. Awesome :) I took my 4yo to Tangled and she was really good through the movie. I would NEVER ever attempt to take my 2yo unless she was muzzled and straitjacketed though ;)

  2. I'm glad you had a successful outing to the movies. Hope you have a great week!!

  3. I'm glad it went well! I don't mind if people bring a baby .... BUT I HATE when they won't take the screamer out. I tend to get loud and rude and totally embarrass my husband. But I'm with you. I didn't fork out a ton of money to listen to their kid scream. Take 'em out or get a babysitter.

  4. I think it's hysterical that Tommy got all exasperated about Natalie having to pee and that this is something he has to deal with all the time. Kids talking like grown-ups always crack me up!

  5. I only bring my kids to the movies when I need a place to put my feet.

  6. I don't even know who Torrance Coombs is! How I am supposed to know when to scream?!?!

  7. I'm looking forward to seeing this movie! It sounded like you had fun, and Natalie actually peed! Yay!

  8. I want to see this movie!! But we'll wait until it comes out on DVD. Just so I don't have to listen to a baby carry on! haha... I don't mind kids who actually pay attention and comment on whats going on, b/c I know they are there enjoying the movie. But babies?? Toddlers?? Who won't ever even remember being there the minute they leave? Nope, can't take that....

  9. I love Tommy's reaction to his sister having to pee. Laughed out loud. I hear it's a great movie...but we'll likely wait until DVD. Theatres are so stupid expensive now!

  10. Glad the kids were behaved and you got your nacho's!

  11. Haha! Tommy is such a doll. I'm glad the movie was good, I've been wanting to see it [and I don't even have any kids!!].

  12. that movie looks super cute. I can't wait until G is big enough to do the movie thing.

  13. I REALLY want to see this movie! So happy that your kids behaved for you!

  14. Sounds like a fairly successful trip. I need to take the kids to see it.

  15. I always feel slightly violated after I've paid for a movie and snacks. Glad that your kids behaved.

  16. All 4 of my boys really want to see Tangled. I wont tell them there are "romance" scenes....

  17. Very brave movie going it alone with both kids to the movies! I know you were so relieved they behaved. Surprisingly, even when mine were younger, they would somehow magically behave at the movies.

  18. Okay, that should say "brave move", not "brave movie"! duh.

  19. Glad it turned out well. I tried to bring both girls this summer and it was a disaster.

    But, I'm thinking I'll bring Iz to see Tangled next scary parts right?

  20. thats pretty impressive, actually! congrats!

  21. Amber, a while ago you were thinking that Natalie would go straight from Pampers into Depends! Now you have reason to rejoice! That's not going to happen! Look at the bright side. (I wish Tom was coming home. That would be a bright side!)

  22. And she kept her pants on throught the whole movie? wow

  23. Small irritations aside, that was a great outing, I'm sure!

  24. Thank you for the smile

    With great pleasure I announce

    You've been nominated for December's Blogger of the month. More details can be found here And ask your viewers to vote for you

  25. typical boy...wants to get to the action and no smoochie stuff first

  26. We have the same carseat! Ha ha! Congrats on getting them both to sit through the movie! I wouldn't trust my 3 year old for one second!

  27. It's great that it worked out that you were able to get your nachos and enjoy them!

  28. I'm looking forward to the day I can take my two to the theater as well, although it does sound like quite an ordeal. Remember the days of just going with your other half? No, me either.

  29. Sounds like a success to me. Good that Natalie still liked the movie without the glasses. I totally feel you on the nachos. Oh...oh I haven't been to a movie in forever. I can pratically taste the delicious movie nachos.

  30. Oh phew! I was reading and reading, and kept wondering, "What the hell is going to happen?" I breathed a sigh of relief when it had a happy ending. Now I'm craving nachos but there's no way I'm putting myself through that stress! I'll buy a bag and some dig!

  31. Go Tommy!!!

    Psst.. you might wanna get your sister a colostomy bag or something...

  32. I just read on a review blog earlier today that Disney is looking to nix the princess movies, at least for a while. Apparently, they aren't good at marketing the princesses toward boys. So you have nothing more to worry about....except, don't tell Natalie about this!

  33. Sounds like fun, but isn't it completely insane how expensive the movies and concessions are? I have to admit, we still smuggle candy in with us and usually go to the discount movies before noon. Used to love the dollar movies.

  34. Here comes the smolder. I'm glad the kiddos behaved. We also saw Tangled and enjoyed it. But why didn't they just name the guy Gyllenhal?


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