Friday, September 30, 2011

The Story of Book Buddy

“Isn’t my book buddy adorable?” Natalie asked.

He was...something else.

I didn’t want to say what I really thought of him. Diseased was the first word that came to mind.

See, in PreK, each kid gets to bring home the Sickly Buddy—er, I mean, the BOOK Buddy overnight. He comes with a small book that you read to your kid and I guess the Book Buddy overlooks it all while spreading a virus.

“I just love him so much,” Natalie said, hugging him to her chest. (If she’s sick within a week, I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“It’s…where are his eyes? When was the last time he brushed his hair?” I asked. (I also wanted to know: where else has he been? Has he been dropped in a toilet before? His fur looked like it had been wet.)

“Silly, he can’t brush his hair. He’s a dog!” Natalie chastised me as though I were Paula Abdul making another one of her off the wall comments. “Here. He loves you.” She plopped him in my lap.


“Pet him,” Natalie instructed.

I was sitting there, frozen, as though she had deposited a turd on my lap.

“It’s just—” I began.

“PET HIM! You’ll hurt his feelings.”

I gingerly tapped him on the head (at least I thought it was the head part) with one finger.

“He’s sleeping with me,” Natalie said, taking him back.

“He looks like he’s related to Cousin It,” I answered.

“He’s so cute,” Natalie continued.

“Does anyone else feel the urge to Lysol the crap out of him?” I called out. “I don’t even want to know what he smells like.”

Natalie took a sniff. “He smells great! Like sausage.”

Um. Ew.

Anyway, Natalie did sleep with the thing and I’m proud to say it didn’t try to eat her.

But then I worried how she’d give it up. When I told her it was time to take him back to school, she didn’t want to let him go.

“I love him!” she wailed.

“You have other non-diseased toys,” I reminded her.

“He’s cute!”

“He’s...well, I wouldn’t call him cute. Look, how about we take a picture with him so you’ll always remember. Okay?”

Natalie agreed.

“So let’s say goodbye to Germ Buddy—uh, book buddy,” I urged.

Natalie sighed and let him go. “Goodbye. I love you,” she told him.

I think it might be time to get our flu shots…


  1. My husband goes to auctions sometimes and brings home stuffed germ buddies for my stepdaughter. Drives me nuts!

  2. It looks like she's hugging a toupe! (But good Lord is she cute!)

    I hate those "book buddies"! My son's was a monkey. A very germy, gross looking monkey! *shutter*

  3. I've loving the contrast between the photo of your sweet daughter hugging her beloved book buddy, and your description of of the diseased, dropped-in-a-toilet, sausage-smelling Germ Buddy. :D

  4. Diseased funky looking creature or not, Natalie is gorgeous!!!!!

  5. ROFL...where are its eyes?!

    I agree, why is the school passing around a stuffed animal that could hold...things?

  6. Just iamgine Adrian Monk confronted with this thing...

  7. I am also creeped out by old plushies - I don't like to take them as hand me downs unless I know the source and everything gets washed. I bet this one looked like it had been wet down because some other parent gave it a wash!

  8. lol, thanks for this. wow. It's been awhile since I've been by, stopped blogging for awhile, but so glad I came back to this!

    Oh and Intense Guy... I would say he would either make Natalie pick it up and dispose of it OR use tongs and throw it away... and then throw the tongs away, lol.

    Glad to see ya'll are doing good!

  9. That sounds like one more really effective way to spread lice.

    Or ebola.

    I would've sanitized the hell out of that thing. I feel your instincts were correct.

  10. it took me reading the comments to figure out it was a stuffed animal. #notamom hahaha I would have tossed it in the washing machine first. Hope no one gets sick!

  11. Ew. Looks like a diseased shih-tzu....or a mop. Same thing, right?

  12. yuck.. sausage...
    maybe i'm being super paranoid but i really cannot believe that the class does that!

  13. Is that the front of the thing or its butt in the first picture?

  14. At least its not a real pet. My kids asked if we could take the class bunny home for the weekend and I said NO!

  15. Smells like sausage? Um... I may have thrown up in my mouth a little bit.

  16. we had a germ buddy in kindergarten too. I refused to let Caitlin sleep with it. Totally grosses me out. Your daughter is adorable even with her germ buddy.

  17. The book buddy at my kids school was a (real) dog named Buddy. He went home with his owner when he was done being read to so no worries about him spreading germs or other stuff at my house.

  18. Our school system does book buddies, but the kids each get their own to keep.

    Less spread of disease that way.

  19. Okay yeah, that thing is creepy.

    Just don't ever let them bring home a hamster. When Devin was in preschool he was the first one that year to bring home the new hamster...the one from the year before (the nice one)had died. And this one was not so nice. It bit the blood out of his little finger on the first night. And he was the last one to ever take the hamster home.
    He brought home two dwarf hamsters for the Thanksgiving weekend in 3rd grade and one of them somehow escaped from the cage somewhere in my house and was never heard from again.

  20. "Turd" That's funny.
    We had to take care of 2 lizzards/salamanders, I have no idea, one Spring Break and had to feed them meal worms, ick!

  21. What the hell is that???
    Let my nightmares ensue....

  22. OMG, I'm dying laughing! Smells like sausage?? I think he'd have had a nice bath in my washing machine.

  23. LMAO!!!

    And yeah - where are the eyes?

    Perhaps you should have loaned *Bleh* Buddy your goggles?

  24. LOL! That's pretty gross. I KNOW there are some homes I wouldn't want to share things like that with!!!

  25. Ick! I would have had the same reaction as you! Funky smells, germs, LICE..AAAHHH!

  26. Yup, that would seriously wig me out too. Did I just date myself by saying, "wig out?"

  27. haha! Now I won't be able to greet my kid's birthday buddy (same idea as book buddy and just as diseased) without thinking of the eyeless one. DISEASE!

  28. LOL....I think book buddy needs to take a bath in the washing machine!

  29. I get that they want to encourage reading, but with all the trading of germs and lice in schools, What the What? I know it wasn't easy for you to let Natalie cuddle it!

  30. Hi, You know, if you put a stuffed toy into a mesh bag, you can wash and dry it (washing machine and dryer) without any problem. I might have suggested that to Natalie so that she could bring him to the supper table with her. That way, it would have been washed and dried before she could have spent a lot of time with it. I have a friend who washes and dries stuffed toys for donating. It is great to read your blog! Thanks for the laughs every day!
    Love, Ruby

  31. Lol! Such a cute picture of your daughter with her buddy. I'm thinking he would fit perfectly into my house--lots of germs. :)

  32. LOL! This was all kinds of awesome.

    Especially the part about him smelling like sausage. Oh geez...

  33. She is seriously a child model. What a beautiful little girl. And sausage, seriously? I just puked a little.


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