Facebook.
Everyone seems to have one.
Some people don’t seem to understand how to use one.
So I decided to make a Top Ten list of Facebook Don’ts.
10. Don’t like a sad status. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen someone post “Having an awful day,” and saw someone like it. Um? Or once I posted that I had a headache and someone liked it. Is anyone really reading Facebook or are they liking every status?
9. Don’t post half naked pics of yourself. Or anyone else you might know. It tends to scare other people.
8. Don’t constantly post what a genius your kid is. Some might be. But there have to be other average kids out there. My son gets a mainly B report card with one C sprinkled in. Where are all those kids? Or is everyone else getting As?
7. Don’t constantly vague book. (I'm talking to you Ashton and Demi..) Fine, if you want to do it once in awhile, great. A little mystery never killed anyone. Constant mystery does. If you aren’t going to spill your guts when someone asks what’s wrong on a daily basis, knock it off.
6. Don’t post a picture of something you cooked and then be like, “Can’t share the recipe, it’s secret!” Don’t tease! That’s mean!
5. Don’t whine if people spoil a show. Stay offline if you’re worried about finding out that Patrick Jane from The Mentalist shot Red John. (Or DID he?)
4. Don’t repeatedly post a countdown to the new Twilight movie if you’re over 25. It’s creepy.
3. Don’t constantly post political posts and be surprised when not everyone agrees. This also goes for parenting posts. I will say something if I see an anti-circumcision post most of the time and will write how I don’t feel guilty on making the decision for my son. And then of course that person TRIES to make me feel guilty and it’s like, “Can you just be accepting that my opinion differs from yours?” The world is an interesting place because we all think differently, people. I wish some folks got that.
2. Don’t allow your kids under 13 to join Facebook. I suppose I get it if they HAVE to play Farmville, but don’t let them post. They won’t have anything interesting to say. And plus, the rules sort of state to be over 13 to join. I might friend your kid to be polite if they request me, but don’t ask me to watch my language or my content. I won’t.
1. Don’t post about how broke you are and then have your next update be like, “We just bought a new puppy!” That’s annoying. Common sense shows that if you are broke, that buying a new pet might not be the brightest idea and yes, half your Facebook list is thinking this, too.
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BwaHahaa! I agree with all of these especially numbers 7, 8 and 9. But my kids do have a facebook to you know? Play Farmville and stuff. But I also have their passwords and am all up in their facebook business. They don't really care about reading anyone else's statuses much or posting their own. It's all about the games.
ReplyDeleteCan you expand #2 to include not letting your kids on to YOUR account?
ReplyDeleteSeveral times I've seen my friends on-line and started to chat with them only to find several comments into the conversation that I'm chatting with their kid (who's probably playing farmville).
Super agree!
ReplyDeleteI agree with all, except I don't know anyone who posts countdowns to twilight. I'm not sure I could handle that...
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts. I've hidden maybe half of my friends because they committed some of these crimes. Gushy lovey, dovey will also make me hide someone.
ReplyDeleteI sure do love the hide feature!
Dropped by from SITS.
you've got a great list there. my biggest AGREE here though is the kids under 13. and when those kids (who are 8, 9, 10) want to friend me & chat with me, it's pretty irritating. i had linked to a blog post i wrote about boobs & i was admonished by a friend with a younger child who clicked my link & saw my post. i do not give a CRAP that your kid saw it & i make no apologies. you shouldn't let your kid be on fb if they can't handle the content or the links.
ReplyDeleteI don't have facebook.
ReplyDeleteNor do I tweet.
Facebook is a huge time waster for most. If all those Farmville folks were actually thinking - imagine what bright, fresh new ideas we would have...
Too true - I can't find a single one that I DON'T agree with.
ReplyDeletePlease try and send this to Zuckerberg. It would make much more sense than the current rules of FB!
I love all of these plus all the comments but have to add one. Please stop liking your own status. If you posted it you obviously like it!
ReplyDeleteAgree with all of these, especially Kara's comment about your kids using your account. Or couples who share an account! You are allowed to be separate people!
ReplyDeleteMysteryChick - AMEN!
ReplyDeleteI agree about half naked pictures. I like to post full frontal ones.
ReplyDeleteI just choked on my cup of tea... thanks for that *cough*
ReplyDeleteSo true. I never understand why people like sad status updates. Another reason not to friend anyone under 13? They refuse to spell anything correctly. Seriously, my husband's cousin friended me, and every time I see an update from him I want to gouge my eyes out with a spork. "Heyyy gurrls, u shyud hit meee upp bc ive got it goin onnn!!1" No, kid. You don't.
ReplyDeleteI used to belong to a yahoo group where one member would go on and on about how they were going to pay their bills (lack of funds), then in the next week state they had gotten a big TV from Rent A Center! I just had to back away from the group at that point. Priorities? Some peeps don't have them.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a Facebook person. . . and I'm fine with that! People annoy me, anyway ;)
ReplyDeleteAgree! Really I kind of hate all the complaing that goes on anyways on facebook, and all the my life is go great, and random look at me look at me crap. Love when you then go out to lunch with someone whos life is amazing/craptastic all at once and find out their life is neither nor. I like facebook to keep up with friends and see how they are doing on normal life stuff, not what they had for lunch, or what their phone bill was...if I wanted to know that I would read their blog, or call and ask, but if you ask what someones bill was that is rude....we need facebook laws.
ReplyDeleteI would like to add one more, that I had to unfriend someone for because it wasn't just once:
ReplyDeleteDo not post pictures of the dead deer/animal you just shot with an obnoxiously smug look on your face. I'm not impressed, that's disgusting.
Wait, I shouldn't have posted those naked photos?
ReplyDeleteNow I just feel embarrassed...
I agree with every one! I have to add one- folks post too much information. I have someone one my Facebook post that her daughter had a yest infection. Really? Did I need to know that.
ReplyDeleteOh your #1 irritates me so much. A sad status how little Johnny can't play soccer this year b/c they don't have enough money and can't someone help... and then the next status is "Booking our 2 week long vacation to Disney! Can't wait!"
ReplyDeleteI also think it' weird when people "Like" their own statuses. Every single time they post one. It's like saying, "I think I'm so clever!", which is fine and all, but it's one of those things that is odd if you do it all the time.
ReplyDeleteLovely list. Especially #'s 2 and 4 and 7.
Love the list. I have a friend who gets laid off probably once a year and then goes on vacation. seriously!
ReplyDeleteHa ha...this cracked me up, so true for all of them. How about the young friend who has a new boyfriend every six months and posts pictures of the two of them laying in bed together looking up at the camera. GAG. I get sick of hearing about the NEW, NEW, NEW, NEW, NEW, NEW man. Yes, I've been married WAY too long!
ReplyDeleteLana
www.FarmLifeLessons.blogspot.com
I like all of these.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is the vague status update. I hate these because they're designed to fish. It's like when someone says to a group of people, "Oh, well I made a casserole from scratch but I'm sure it's not as good as Martha Stewarts!" And then they just wait for people to chime in and say, "Of course it is! It's wonderful! You're the queen of casserole! You smell like magic!"
Oh I agree with ALL of these! So annoying!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously!
ReplyDeleteI am a breastfeeding, non-circumcising mama. 90% of my FB friends probably don't know that. Why?? BECAUSE I DON'T POST RANTS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO AREN'T. Choices are highly personal, so what does it matter to me what someone else does or doesn't do?
And I totally agree too with MysteryChick's opinion about people "liking" their own statuses. Ugh.
Also? People who incessantly post self-portraits, most often taken in the driver's seat, most often taken from an angle. *sigh*
Yes, yes, yes. I love those statuses "I can't believe this has happened...I have to keep my head up...I just know that the right one will find me."
ReplyDeleteOr the statuses with appalling spelling or grammar.
Or the constant breaking up/ it's complicated relationship statuses.
I agree with everything - even if I'm guilty of violating a random rule once in a great while! :)
ReplyDeleteAmen, sister! :) I couldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteOne more for the list--the "chronic ailment poster." No problem if you post once in a while that you have a headache, but I don't need to know in detail what's wrong with your body every single day. That's mostly for my mother. Hell froze over the day my mother joined Facebook.
Woo! I'm 23.....i can still post about twilight :)
ReplyDeleteWell said......and also to my sister don't post everything you did every freaking minute of the day!! No body cares!!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with all of these. And you don't have to tell me everything you do every single day. I'm thinking of the daily "Yum coffee!" post and then the ensuing 300 posts telling me where you are what you're doing. We don't care.
ReplyDeleteI love this!
ReplyDeleteI had a friend who constantly vague booked. Then, when people stopped asking what was wrong (because she was always so vague - we figured she didn't really want us to know!), she started commenting "I guess no one cares about me :(" on her vague status! UGH!
And those are just the rules for adults. There are a billion more for teenagers. After learning her best male and female friend just started "dating" my over-dramatic kidlet posts. "I feel like I have no one anymore." MIL called in a panic asking if I'd left her son, or kicked her granddaughter out. Oy.
ReplyDeleteI've got one "friend" that has nothing good to say, it's always "why does everything bad always happen to me" I can't be sympathetic to the whining, it's old. and yes I blocked it, had to. FB has always seemed weird to me.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more!
ReplyDeleteEspecially the part where you befriend someones kid. You can see my facebook. What makes you think its going to change now, cos you're kid and I are friends? Or that it was a smart move on your part to allow them to do ask for the friendship. Nope.
I hate FaceBook. Yes, I'm on it. But I still hate it. And am totally in agreement with everything said here. But especially with @Kimberly who said something about the kids not spelling correctly. But what chaps my hide even worse, is when the 30-40 year old set do it too! "Gurrrl" is NOT a word!
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing I should totally apologize for the countdown to the last Harry Potter movie that I did then. I will try to contain myself in the coming 6 weeks.
ReplyDeleteAgree with those, but also have one to include..do not post pictures of your kid's (or anyone's for that matter) fecal matter. A friend of ours told us about someone from their facebook posting a picture of where their kid had pooped in the bed...people should please please please not post pictures of that..so disturbing!
ReplyDeletePerfect! Now if someone could just MAKE people read and agree to these before they're allowed to sign up for FB!
ReplyDeleteWell said! The only thing I would add is don't be overly optimistic. Example: There's a gigantic tornado headed straight for my home, but I'm so blessed to have a super-duper husband, potty-trained cat, and roast in the oven for dinner.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of these and would like to add that you shouldn't write something that you don't want EVERYONE to read. Because even if you aren't friends with someone, somehow they will still see your status update.
ReplyDelete:) Love this! I think you should submit it to the Facebook people, and have them make all users agree to it. :)
ReplyDeleteOh! and #1? KILLS ME! I am so tempted to start an intervention via FB!
I totally LOVE this list!!!! I hate those vague updates, esp the ones asking for prayers for a dire situation but they can't tell you what it is. But it's okay because God knows what the problem is. Well, then....
ReplyDeleteMy nephew has a FB account and he just turned 14. His updates are always so lame and nothing more than little inside jokes that he has with his little 14-year old friends. The only reason I even know what's on his wall is because I promised my sister who is anti-FB for herself that I'd keep an eye on him to make sure there are no pedophiles trying to friend him.
I'm guilty of #8, but my family loves to hear stories of my daughter's latest antics.
ReplyDeleteOne I would add to the list is not to like your own post. I think that's weird.
You forgot one...
ReplyDeleteDon't try to steal someone else's spouse, thinking your dirty tricks won't be discovered.
I may be the Queen of Happiness, but I'll kick your ass if you mess with my man. Word.
LOL. Oh the world of FB ...
ReplyDeleteDon't agree with #5. I think it's rude to post spoilers without at least prefacing it with a spoiler alert.
ReplyDeleteI'd also add if someone you know in real life sends you an invitation to an event on fb, have the courtesy to RSVP. And "maybe" doesn't count.
Numbers 7 and 8 drive me insane. IN-SANE. Like crazy, wild-eyed lunatic insane. So annoying.
ReplyDeleteI've gotten to the point where I generally ignore #3 - not worth my time and energy.
And I won't friend anyone under the age of 13. Hell, I generally won't friend anyone under the age of 20. I've had a few of my neighbor's kids send me friend requests and I ignore them - I don't care if they think I'm being rude. I have no desire to have a kid I barely know and who doesn't have the social maturity to be on FB in the first place having access to my life.
Also, I hate it when my husband's distant relatives that I've only met once seven years ago send me friend requests. I ignore those too.