Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Dog Freak Out

We went to a BBQ at a guy’s house who Tom works with.

I was nervous.

I never know what to say or do at things like that. I mean, when I went to something like that before, someone said that they liked my perfume and I stupidly said something like, “Thanks. I got it from Glamour Magazine. I just rubbed it right on.”

Who SAYS things like that? Why couldn’t I have simply nodded and said thank you?

Basically I’m just an awkward awkward human being.

I decided to make some cupcakes to show that Tom was married to someone who was caring and who liked to cook.


That first part is true, anyway.

Plus, they weren’t fancy cupcakes. They were from Duncan Hines. Still. It’s something.

At the BBQ I stood against the wall while the guy’s dog kept coming up to me because it could sense that I was freaked out.

I’ve admitted this before and I’ll admit it again: I do not like big dogs. I think they have a hidden agenda to bite out my throat. Small dogs I can handle. Big dogs? Not so much. This was a big dog. It was a German Shepard and it had an evil glint in its eyes—which I later found out was glaucoma but still. I’d be minding my own business and it would come over and everyone seemed to stop and stare at me, waiting for me to pet it. Everyone else was happily petting and playing with the dog. I kept backing into the wall until I couldn’t move.

Plus, it’s always awkward when others catch on that you don’t like big dogs. They’ll either offer to put the dog away, which I feel guilty about. Or they’ll say, “Oh, you don’t like dogs?” and people will look at you as though you just started to recite the Gettysburg Address at the top of your lungs for no reason.

Anyway, it wasn’t so bad. I did talk a few times and managed to dodge the dog most of the time. (And yes, my husband has to work with a big dog but thankfully he doesn't take it home with him..)

The guy who had the BBQ had a daughter who immediately grabbed Natalie’s hand the second we walked in. She later asked if she could do Natalie’s makeup. I said yes because if I had said no, Natalie would have gone, “But why?” She’s a total girly girl.

About ten minutes later the girl came out and said she finished Natalie’s makeup and did I want to see?

“Sure,” I said.

Natalie came out and I tried not to cringe.




“She looks like a Kardashian!” I said, expecting someone else to laugh.

No one did.

Either they A) don’t know who the Kardashian’s are or B) like the Kardashian’s and did not appreciate the joke.

(But I’m sorry, the Kardashian’s do cake on a lot of makeup..)

“I’m so beautiful,” Natalie said. “So, so beautiful.”

Um. She might have REALLY high self esteem. Which yes, is a GOOD thing, but if she still says things like that when she’s older, she’s going to be shoved into lockers.

Or told off on Facebook.

“You look...lovely,” I said.

I didn’t want to offend the girl.

“I never want to take this off!” Natalie said wistfully, twirling around while the girl smiled up at me. “Can I do YOUR makeup?”

I said no.





  1. how could no one laugh when you said your own daughter looked like a kardashian sister?

  2. Oh my goodness Natalie! LOL that is too funny!!

  3. On the plus side, you just had a glimpse of what you'll be going through in 10 years. Eeek.

  4. HAHAHAHAH!!! Love that!!

    I'm awkward too in social situations, which makes me be silent for the most part, especially if I don't know very many people.

    We have to put up our female dog anytime company comes over. She's just too much. And we will put both of them up if my Mom comes over. She's like you, she doesn't like big dogs either.

    I will HAPPILY put them both up if someone voices they are uncomfortable though. :o)

  5. Toddlers and Tiaras can't be far away! Ha ha!

  6. No one laughed? Seriously? Maybe they didn't hear you? Maybe it would have been more awkward, I mean awesome, if you repeated yourself louder, then made the Ba dum dum ccchh sound after. That would have made it better! I'm sure!

    Good call on not letting her do your make up. Good call!

  7. oh dear. She. . . she does look lovely. Was the other girl using a Bratz doll as her makeup model?

  8. This is a great story and she looks stunning! My only questions is who gives their child that much make up???

  9. Slightly more make up and she's all set for the clown act at the Circus...


  10. Oh boy! That's a lot of make up. But she is still pretty! You can see what she will look like when she's a teen.

  11. She needs a much bigger butt to be a Kardashian. I totally would have laughed when you said that.

    Natalie really is pretty so she won't get shoved into lockers. It's like a law. Don't worry, my daughter once looked around a room at a modeling agency and announced she was the prettiest girl there. She grew up to be beautiful, popular and kind. At least in public where it counts. Lol.


  12. Okay, so I'm glad that you didn't let her do YOUR makeup! And I have no idea how you couldn't get laughter from the Kardashian comment. FUNNY!

  13. Your joke was funny. Seeing as the Kardashians are everywhere how did they not get this joke?

    Your daughter does look super cute. Nothing a good scrub in the tub won't fix though.

  14. My grandma used to let us play with makeup when we stayed at her house. So, I was like 8 and going out to dinner with lip gloss, bright pink blush and blue eyeshadow. Yes... BLUE! I must have looked ridiculous.

  15. I hate when big dogs try to smell your crotch...There i said

    BTW...She does have the Kardashian pose down.....just sayin

  16. That photo is something else! The make-up, the pose, hilarious! As for the "I'm so beautiful" remark, well...she truly is. Just wait until she's a teen!

  17. That look on her made up face is priceless. And just for the record, I would have laughed.

  18. Natalie is a girly-girl, just like my granddaughter ViMae. Except ViMae is going through a don't-take-my-picture phase. Hope I can get her to model the dress I just won through your giveaway! I hope to post pictures.

  19. hahahahahahaha!

    Oddly, and somewhat painfully, my MOTHER sometimes does my kid's makeup like that. I'm all, "WHAT are you thinking?" And she's all, "but they LIKE it that way."


  20. Remember that old Simpsons' episode when Homer creates a makeup gun and splats it on Marge's face, and she says "HOMER. You've got the makeup gun set to "whore""?

    Oh wait. That may have been totally inappropriate. But wow, that's a LOT of makeup!

  21. I don't like big dogs. I'm afraid of them too. Hilarious about your daughter's makeup!

  22. I didn't know who the Kardashians were until just recently so it's possible they didn't know either.

  23. OMG I hate the unknown big dogs. I refuse to get out of the car at people's houses until they tie up the dog.

    And everyone looks at you like you have two heads because you are frightened of the unpredictability of something over half your height with TEETH.

    There is a woman in this town who drives around with her massive mastiff hanging out of the back window. She parks in the supermarket carpark and leaves the dog unattended in the car with the window down and I'm always petrified it is going to jump out and eat one of my children. If she parks next to me I stay inside at the checkout until she has gone away because I like all my limbs thankyou.

  24. OK, that was hilarious! I totally did not expect that last picture.
    Keep her off the streets cuz it looks like she's got the moves.

  25. She looks like a Kardashian... I totally TOTALLY would have laughed at that!!

  26. that is too funny!

    i love your great sense of humour and your witty writing style.

    have a great day!

  27. Natalie looks .... lovely.



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