Thursday, February 2, 2012

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Chuck E Cheese

First off, I fixed my blog button! I’m not sure what happened with the last one. I paid someone to make it and I’m assuming their Photobucket account was erased so I put it on mine. It took longer than I care to admit. I suck at HTML. So, if you had it on your sidebar and it turned into a black X, please use the new code. Thank you!

I’ve decided to create a weekly post called Things That Annoy Me every Thursday.

Venting helps.

Pizza. That doesn’t sound too bad.

Entertainment for the kids in the form of games and mechanical horses. Okay. I can deal.

A giant rat walking around. Um. What?

These are just some of the things a person can encounter at Chuck E. Cheese.

Needless to say, it is not my favorite place in the world.

For starters, there are parents who don’t feel the need to teach their child to wait their turn for the aforementioned games and mechanical horse. There have been moments when kids have breezed past us in line to the point where I wanted to yank on the child’s pigtail and hiss, “It’s not your turn, sweetheart. Wait in the line like the rest of us.”

Sometimes a parent allows their kid to play the game or ride the toy multiple times even though there is a line forming beside it.

“Go ahead, Lauren. These people can wait. After all, we paid an obscene amount of money to be here, therefore, if you want to ride the horse 5 times then you have that right,” the parent might say.

First of all. Yes, it can cost a lot of money to eat there. But that’s why God invented coupons. Check the Sunday paper. There are Chuck E Cheese coupons all the time. Newspapers scare you? Well, it’s 2012, check the website.

Second of all. Remove your child after their ride is over or I will do it for you.

There have been moments when Natalie doesn’t want to give up her beloved horse. I once had to physically pry her fingers from around the horse’s neck so the child next in line could ride.

“But I love it!” Natalie yelped. “I want to go again!”

“Fine. Wait in line again. You aren’t Jim Carrey’s daughter, in real life, people have to wait in line to get what they want.”

Yeah, your kid might cry. But the beautiful Chuck E Cheese soundtrack that plays at the front of the room usually drowns most of it out.

Want to know what else irks me about that place?

The games are rigged.


Or maybe I just suck at video games.

No, they’re rigged. Tom rocks at video games and the most he’s ever won was like 20 tickets.

Normally I drag Natalie off to get a Chuck E Cheese ID card done because she tends to get offended if she plays a game and one ticket pops out.

“This is it?” she’ll bellow, looking at the paper rectangle in disgust. “THIS IS IT?” So then I’m like, “Let’s get your Chuck E Cheese card!” and she’s happy for about six seconds. Then she wants to play a video game THAT SHE’S TOO LITTLE FOR and as I mentioned before, I stink at video games, so we get one ticket all over again. She’s offended. All over again. So I drag her to the machine that sketches a picture of us. Only I can never get her to hold still in the circle that hovers on the screen so the sketching thingy inside can capture a picture. Most of the time it winds up catching a bit of Natalie’s cheek and my pissed off expression. The last time my mouth was open and I was in the middle of saying, “For God’s sake, hold still!”

And then there’s the giant rat that walks around. Most kids bellow, “Chuck E!” and rush over to him with excitement.

I press myself up against a video game and duck down, willing the thing to go away. One time it approached me and waved its right hand.

“Er. Hello,” I said.

Could it even hear me inside? What did it smell like in there?

“Um. Goodbye,” I tried again. It would not leave even though kids were surrounding it. I think it saw I was petrified and was like, “Hey, my job consists of walking around the room dressed as a rat and being attacked by a bunch of unruly brats. I’m going to torture the parents.”

Yeah. Scary. I’d rank Chuck E. Cheese right up there with Chucky the satanic doll. It’s no coincidence that they both have the name ‘Chuck’ in their names.

Do you want to know what once made Chuck E. Cheese bearable? The ball pit. But there are no ball pits anymore because it was found that germs and fecal matter gathered against the colorful spheres, this freaked people out so…no more ball pits. And okay, jumping around with someone else’s poo around me was disgusting but isn’t that what showers are for?

Whenever I leave Chuck E. Cheese I always vow that I won’t ever come back again.


The other day Tom was like, “We should go to Chuck E Cheese this weekend!” because he’s like a big kid and even though he claims the video games are rigged, he loves them.

The kids practically shat themselves with excitement.

I meekly said, “But what about the scary giant rat?” and was promptly ignored.

So. I guess it’s back to Chuck E Cheese. (Yes, with a coupon.)

Help me.


  1. As far as I'm concerned, Chuck E. Cheese is the portal to hell. I can't stand that place!! However, there are a few comparable alternatives in our town that we can go to instead. We have a place called Incredible Pizza, and it's EVER so much more bearable. Or at least, you know, as bearable as those joints can possibly be ...

  2. bahaha true story: my grandma {who bless her heart is a little different} insisted on taking me to Chuck E Cheese until I was 16. it was ALL she would do with my sister and myself. I never want to go again

  3. When our kids were little enough to enjoy "The Cheese" we would go with other couples and their kids. That way we could take turns monitoring kids and sitting (hiding) in a booth and drinking. It made it bearable at least.

  4. If you want to drop a load of cash and see a mouse, I suggest Disney World. The employees keep that place sparkling clean. :-)

  5. Love these comments! We call it Chunk E Cheese and I avoid it like the plague....but get dragged into there at least once a year.

  6. Believe it or not, I really like Chuck E. Cheese... but then again, when we go, we take my niece and my daughter. My niece is 10 and you can reason with her like she's 30 and my daughter's a teenager, but she acts like she's 10 (in a good way) when we go there.

    I LOVE the security measures they take to make sure each kid leaves w/ the person they came with.

    And I like the pizza.

    BUT, I'm sure if I had a prek kid, I'd find a way to get out of it. B/c when Christen was that young, I hated taking her to places like that.

    But you're a good Mom to endure that big ol' rat for your kids! :o)

  7. I remember when Chuck E. Cheese was still Showbiz Pizza (where a kid can be a kid!). Despite this, I have never been. Ever. From all I've heard, I really have no desire to go. Ever.

  8. I am right there with you...Not to fond of CEC but kids and husband love it as well. Luckily we only go maybe 1-2 year. Thank goodness. Everytime I walk out of there even with coupons my bank account is depleted of $50+ and I have a raging headache.

  9. I haven't been there since my kids were little (read many, MANY years), but it doesn't sound like anything has changed! I didn't like it back then, either! Too loud, kids screaming and running around all over the place, mostly unsupervised. I don't remember a big rat, though. That must have come in the more recent years. Seriously. Who would want a big rat for a mascot? Bad advertising!

  10. I've never been to a Chuck E. Cheese before - in fact - I can't even think of any place comparable in Canada. Am I missing out?

  11. Don't they sell beer in there too?
    If not, drink a margarita (or two) before you go and let Tom drive.

  12. I have never been and don't plan to go. I thought about it once or twice because I found some awesome coupons, but I end up talking myself out of it.
    Maybe one day I'll brave it for my son.. Maybe..

  13. My kiddo's are still small enough that we can go when they open on weekdays. It's fantastic! We usually get the place more or less to ourselves for at least an hour or two, and they 'test' all of the games before they open, and leave millions of tickets hanging off of them. . . first thing we do is wander though the whole store collecting, like, 800 tickets to augment the 5 that we will win honestly. Of course we STILL are only ever able to win teeny tiny prizes, but the girls are usually okay with that!

  14. One day when I make it over to the states with my kids I'm going to have to take them to check out this giant rat.

    BTW. I tagged you on my blog today:

  15. "And okay, jumping around with someone else’s poo around me was disgusting but isn’t that what showers are for? "

    you jump around in someone else's poo in your SHOWER???

    Or wait. . . maybe I misunderstood your point.

  16. Oh my gosh, you are too funny! This post positively cracked me up! I will say that I would take Chuck E Cheese any day over Charlie Safari!! Charlie Safari gets crazy, violent, and there are very rarely any parents that even think about keeping an eye on their kids.

  17. I think I've been to Chuck E Cheese all of one time. I vowed never again. And kept my word.

  18. I've been once with my kids, and it actually wasn't too bad. But then it closed. :)

  19. anytime we go there it's during the week. I can't stand how crazy and loud it gets in there! My son is already asking me to book his bday there, and I keep pretending I don't hear him.

  20. I won't go to chucks cheese. Went once, ate their pizza, truly the worst pizza in the world, came home with a headache and now it's my husband who takes them. It's his job. I would pay him to do it, just so I don't have to step in there ever again. Yuck, yuck. Yuck.

  21. Use to take kids when they were young to CEC. Now they don't even care for it. Indeed, very awkward when the big rat tries to get friendly with people. Thanks for dropping by my blog.

  22. Gawd, I hate that place!!! I've been twice and that was quite enough. The other children and their parents are awful and I nearly got into a fist fight the last time I was there.

    And their pizza sucks.

    And that rat is terrible. What restaurant wants a RAT as a mascot???

  23. Skee Ball is all that makes it bareable for me. The kids that I nanny LOVE it. Me, not so much. We don't go often.

  24. HATE Chuck E. Cheese! HATE!


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