Friday, August 24, 2012

Natalie's First Homework

“Natalie, please come over here.”

“Natalie, no, now is not the time to do a hand stand.”

“Natalie! Stop pretending the crayon is a mustache. Let’s do this!”

She had her first homework assignment. It was not going well. I couldn’t get her to focus on it.

I never remembered homework in Kindergarten. What I recall is naps and petting a ferret. Wait, that’s Kindergarten Cop. But I do remember naps. And coloring. And playing. Not homework.

It wasn’t complicated homework, mind you. She had to draw a picture of herself and her family. Then answer some questions.

“I’m going to give myself green hair. Green hair is fun,” Natalie said, grabbing a crayon from the box.

“Hey, Anne of Green Gables, let’s not. Can you draw a picture of yourself for real?” I asked. I wasn’t sure if the teacher would appreciate green hair. I would imagine so. I mean, it’s KINDERGARTEN. If they expected mini Van Gogh’s, well, sorry.

After ten minutes, Natalie finished coloring herself. When it came time to draw her family, she was rolling along the floor.

“Natalie!” I snapped. “Please finish this.”

“Do you want a hamburger?” she said. She had moved to her play kitchen and had a plastic spatula poised over a tiny saucepan.

“No. I want you to finish this so I can read. Can you draw your family?”

Natalie rolled her eyes at me. “Ugh!” she grumbled. “Ugh! You…MOM!” She grabbed a crayon, plopped down in her seat, and went to work.

She totally drew me a mustache. That was her revenge. Although, honestly, I probably do need a wax. Weirdly, she gave Tom a stethoscope.

Then she had to answer questions.

“What’s your favorite color?” I asked.


“What’s your favorite TV show?”

“Family Guy!”



Yeah. She watches Family Guy sometimes.

“How about you pick another show?” I prompted. I didn’t want to get a phone call from the teacher about it.

“Did you know Family Guy is inappropriate?” the teacher might question. “This explains why Natalie randomly goes giggity.”

“Spongebob!” Natalie tried again.

“Favorite store?”

“Target! Like you!” Natalie shouted.

“You made your Momma proud,” I said as I wrote down the answer.

“Target has toys. And it’s red,” Natalie responded primly.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

In PreK, she had to answer this question. She picked Rapunzel. I thought she might do the same.

But no.

She was like, “A fairy!”

“How about something like a teacher?” I pressed.

“A FAIRY!” Natalie boomed.

Okay. I wrote that down.

Finally, we were done. Thank goodness. I hope she won’t have a lot of homework.

If she does, her Daddy gets to sit with her the next time.


  1. Yay! Spongebob!

    Her art looks fridge-worthy.

  2. FAMILY GUY!!! HAHAHAHA!!! Don't let my kids hear that. They are BEGGING to be allowed to watch it with their older brother and I am NOT going down that route. They already swear and watch crap tv and video games and tell people they like the way wine tastes...

    I do so love Natalie.

  3. Zachary's first assignment was so similar! it's going to be hard getting him to do homework once he gets more of it!

  4. My kids (6 & 4) have watched Family Guy. I'm sure they'll all be fine!

  5. I couldn't imagine trying to get a five year old to do homework. We still have a week until school starts, and then I'll experience it on my own. Great drawing!

  6. At least she didn't say Jersey Shore! I think homework is ridiculous for Kindergarten...Have a great weekend!

  7. My oldest used to watch Family Guy all the time when he was little. I was clueless until I sat down while it was on one day and realized what he'd been watching. Oops!

    This reminded me of trying to get Dracen is sit down and do his homework still today. And he's in the fourth grade!

  8. I love that she said Family Guy. I can see my daughter saying the same thing in a few years.

  9. I want to be a fairy when I grow up, too!

  10. I am SO not looking forward to homework with my 4. Yuck!

  11. Yeah, kindergarten is SO not like when we were in school. I remember my son's teacher telling me that they would be reading sight words by Christmas and me being totally dumbfounded. And darned if she wasn't right.

  12. I can imagine that's what homework with my almost 5 year old is going to look like. I'm not looking forward to it...haha

  13. Ha and that was only the first homework :)

  14. Bless her. Why not be a fairy?! It does seem a bit over the top having homework already.


  15. Oh how funny LOL
    Last year my kids were in K5 and I realized then that K5 homework is really the parent's homework because you MUST walk them through everything single little thing.

  16. I think homework for Kindergarteners is ridiculous! But I DO love her answers . . .

  17. No more Na?

    A sheet of homework like that is not bad, if she got a packet for one night that would be bad. Some teachers give a packet for the whole week, but they should only do between 5-10 minutes a night. Kindergarten has changed a lot since most of us were in school.

  18. Ugh! Kindergarten homework. They definitely reinforce classroom learning now. How adorable your daughter aspires to be a fairy. My son wanted to be an invisible ninja in kindergarten. That's what I call dreaming big!

  19. Hahaha. And probably a smart choice to edit out Family Guy for the first homework. Although you have to know she's totally going to mention it to the teacher one of these days. As for the kindergarten homework, thanks for the flashback. Although Mooch did better until she realized it was 98 % repetitive busywork. Which, sadly, it was.

  20. As gleefully happy as I am that Bella goes back to school TODAY(!!!!!), I'm not looking forward to homework. She's in third grade now, and she will have a lot of it. Just like first and second grades. And by the end of the day, the last thing anyone wants to do is homework.

    I'm feeling a chocolate binge coming on...


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