Monday, November 26, 2012

So I Saw Breaking Dawn Part 2

So I saw Breaking Dawn Part 2. And if you’re expecting me to gush about it, you might as well leave. That’s not going to happen.

Okay, so I went with my friend Jennifer. We saw it in the balcony of the theater which meant we wouldn’t be surrounded by the teen fans that squeal and the creepy adult fans who also squeal. I’ll never understand the adult fans who call themselves twi-moms. I don’t care if Edward is really like a hundred or something. It’s still weird.


The best thing about seeing a movie in the balcony is the warmed seats. I always chill in movie theaters. The second best thing is the food. You can order from a menu and they bring it to you. We got the cheese fries. The third best thing is that you can watch the people filter into the theater below you. You feel like royalty. “Look at me in my awesome box and look at you in your regular seats surrounded by the teen fans…and the children and infants..”

Seriously. People brought children and infants to Breaking Dawn Part 2.

Children. And infants.

I’m not judging or anything.

Actually, I am. It’s not appropriate to bring children and infants to that type of movie.

So the movie started and it’s all…ooo, thanks for all the shots of the snow. Awesome. Then it shows Edward with his constipated look on his face staring at Bella. He still weirds me out. I mean, guys, he watched her sleep when she was human. This is not a healthy thing. That’s what serial killers do. But a lot of women are like, “How romantic!” How do you figure? How can people sleep when people are staring at them? What if you drool? That’s not sexy. What if you snore? Not sexy.

Then came the part that was really distracting. They used a CGI baby as Renesmee which I understand because getting an infant to place her hand lovingly on Bella’s cheek probably wouldn’t have gone well. Still. They could have used something better.

Bella and Edward have vampire sex, which made me giggle, because in the middle of it a burst of light appears around Bella’s face which I’m assuming meant she orgasmed? I know I was probably supposed to think, “How romantic!” but again I was like, “This is just all sorts of strange..”

The fight scene came later in the film, which was entertaining enough. I won’t spoil anything but the scene didn’t make me sad or anything. It could be because one of the infants that a parent decided to bring started to wail and it took them awhile to PARENT the child. If you have to bring Junior to the movies, immediately leave when it starts to make noises. If I can hear it from the balcony, imagine how loud it must be down there.

The movie ends with Bella and Edward sitting in a field of flowers and Bella is like, “Let me show you something,” and the look on Edward’s face made me whisper to Jennifer, “Did she just fart or something?” because he had his famous constipated look that oddly enough seem to make women swoon.

All and all it was an okay movie. Nothing I’d need to see again. Some people were gushing about it, saying it was the best thing they had ever seen which made me want to get them to watch proper movies such as The Sound of Music and Gone with the Wind. Stat. Those are good movies. One about werewolves and vampires? Not so much in my eyes. (And so many are calling it epic. Huh?)

After the movie Jennifer and I went to the bathroom where we found this sign:

I know it’s meant to be sweet and such but it made me laugh. (And yes, it is missing a word..) Who leaves affirmations in the bathroom where people pee and deficate? Was it because we had paid $18 a seat to be able to be in the balcony? Did balcony bathrooms get affirmations?

Anyway, at least the Twilight movies are over. I’m ready for Catching Fire to comeout. That’s a series I really enjoy.

Although the fact that Miley Cyrus’ fiance is in it is somewhat annoying, but I’ll push through that.

Go Katniss! And thank you for not looking constipated.


  1. I'm not a Twilight fan, I've never read the books or seen the movies but I'm pretty sure that's about how my recap would go. I am however looking so forward to Catching Fire too!!

  2. That baby was just scary! And I don't find RP to be good looking at all!

  3. OMG there was a crazy baby when I went too...he climbed up and down the aisle. SOOO distracting!

  4. I loved the books but not the movies. I suppose I should see the last one to just finish things off, but I have no desire.

    I am, though, very excited for Catching Fire and The Host next spring.

  5. I'm not a Twilight fan, for reals. This post was funny though!

    Speaking of not bringing your baby to shows like that... we decided last night we needed to stop watching gruesome shows on Netflix with the baby around. She was watching it intently. Yikes.

  6. You are a better friend than me, because there is no way in God's green earth that I would have gone to see that movie. I was coerced into reading the first book and that was plenty for me.

  7. I don't do any of these tween movies. I am just too old. Bag humbug.

  8. HAHAHA! This is a hilarious review, and I'm glad I've never seen the movie! (My 18 year old daughter saw it,didn't like it, and equally enjoyed your review.)

  9. We have a dinner "theater" like that here, but the movies are older...not usually first run...or at the end fo first run. I've not read any of the books and won't see the movies unless I have! Stubborn...I know! :-)

  10. I love movie theaters like that. Ours allowed fruity adult drinks, too. And only up in that balcony area. I miss living near that theater!

    Hubs and I saw this on Saturday and it was okay. I was weirded out by the baby. I'm not a huge Twilight fan so I just thought it was okay. I wish I hadn't read the spoiler about the end before I saw it, though. I read it b/c I was thinking well, I barely remember the book, I'm not going to know what the difference is. Oops.

    Anyway- YES on Catching Fire! I cannot wait!

  11. Oh, and b/c my comment wasn't long enough- I had posted on my fb that I had my boys' soccer coach convinced I was taking the boys to see Breaking Dawn. We ran into him when I took the boys there to see Wreck It Ralph. Anyway, big giggle at the look on the coach's face.

    Someone commented back that she was taking her 5y/o to see it and she didn't care what people had to say about it,her daughter loved them.

    I don't see how this movie was at all appropriate for a 5y/o.

    Yes, I'm judging.

  12. I totally love your movie review :D I can't wait for Catching Fire to come out!!! Oh I am so excited! Thank goodness for awesome actors/actresses.


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