Friday, October 25, 2013

My Daughter Looks Constipated In Her School Picture. Does Yours?

My son's school picture came out normal. I mean, yes, he's doing a fake I'd-like-to-go-now smile but still. He's handsome.

My daughter?


Let's just go back in time.

She's always been stubborn in front of the camera. If you aren't amusing her, she's not interested. This was discovered when she was newly born and the hospital tried to get good shots of her. She kept moving her head to the side.

She WOULD NOT look up. The photographer tried to position her head and this is when Tom freaked out.

"Please don't force my daughter's head like that," he snapped. She already had him wrapped around his finger. Natalie, not the photographer.

Needless to say, we did not get any hospital pictures because soon after Natalie cried angrily. And when I say cry, I mean screamed bloody murder. She's never had a problem with using her lungs.

Fast forward a couple of years. I have been noticing that when a photographer tries to get her to smile that she gives them her fake smile.


This is her at Disney World after doing the Bippity Boppity Boutique. The photographer would simply call out, "Smile!" and Natalie would do that.

I should have made farting noises. Or ran into the side of the store. But that would have alarmed the worker who might have sent me to Disney Jail.

Farting noises and running into a wall have always made Natalie laugh. It's how I get shots like these:

Anyway, here's Natalie's school pictures:

"She looks constipated," I told Tom.

"She looks scared," he said.

"The man wasn't making farting noises," Natalie informed us primly. I could picture her walking over and saying, "You need to fart for me or else I won't smile."

Needless to say we returned the photos and had her do a re-take. We have not received those back yet. I'm a little worried because before we walked to school she said she was going to smile like this:

I'd keep that one....


  1. I was the same way. I remember my dad telling me If I didn't smile right in my school picture I'd be in trouble when I got home. I still have a crazy fake smile. Maybe I need to tell people to fart for me so I can really smile.

  2. I'd keep that one too, framed on the wall for her upcoming boyfriends to see (sorry Tom)

  3. Hahaha that smile. So cute.

    I went through a phase where I wouldn't smile with my teeth. Not that I had bad teeth... I just wouldn't do it. So I just look mildly amused/sarcastic in all my kid photos.

  4. hahahahaha!
    Note to self, since I am doing my daughter's school photos next month - make farting noises for the kids!
    Scarlet came out constipated for our school last year too. Totally. I didn't buy them. Everyone said, "Well you don't need to. If you want professional photos of your daughter, you just take them yourself." True, but school photos are a rite of passage, right?

  5. Total cuteness. (and I can relate!)

  6. As I said last time, you MUST keep it if she really does make that face! LOL!!

    Tommy's picture came out great!

  7. My husband has the most awesome natural smile in the world, but if you point a camera at him, it's like his face turns to stone and he can only manage a little fake half-smile with his lower lip.

  8. Lucy does THE SAME THING!!! We call it the crazy smile or THE GRIMACE. It is smile-like, yet not a smile. All your adorable daughter needs is a good fart sound because when she gets that her smile is electric!! --Lisa
    ps. LOVE the hospital photo. LOVE IT!! Hahahaha

  9. That's exactly how Henry looks! I mean without the long hair, obviously!! He recently told me that you can't show teeth when you smile because smiley faces don't have teeth!

  10. Oh, my God...I love them all! Precious!

    My hospital baby picture is a joke in my family. I was like hours old laying on that funky blanket and they snapped the pic.

    And I was pointing my middle finger.

    It's been my outlook on life ever since!

    (Niiiice...this just gave me some good ol'blog material!! Thank you!)

  11. Both grandkids gave that same little grimace-smile for their pictures this year. But I can't criticize because my own face just freezes up when I'm posing for a picture. It's not deliberate, and after all these years it hasn't gotten better. :/

  12. You are so funny! I have the same fake-smile problem with my daughter. Farting would have gotten the right smile in our case, too!

  13. Ahahahaha, That's really funny. I think you're really on to something with the farting thing. It works for Fred when I'm trying to get a shot of him, why wouldn't it work on kids? Hilarious!

  14. She does look scared! But she's so beautiful, even in that picture :-D

    I hope the second round went better, though :-)

    Have a good weekend!!!

  15. My kids squint when they force smile - its unavoidable - they look as if they are staring at the sun...there is no winning - farting noises should be in the school photographer handbook thingy

  16. Ha! My natural face looks grouchy and not at all smiley. If I force a smile, I look like I secretly want to shank the photographer. There's no happy medium! I just can't smile on command! Somebody has to make me laugh to get a genuine smile.


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