Friday, January 31, 2014

Things I Won't Be Doing On Superbowl Sunday

Who is watching the Super Bowl this weekend?

I'm not.

Well, my husband will probably switch it over once in awhile to check on the commercials and to see the half show in case a boob is flashed again. (I don't even know who is doing the half time show. Hmm.)

We aren't really football people. My husband generally roots for the Cleveland Browns and they do well like 20% of the time (and that's being generous) so I'm not subjected to the boring sport often. This also might be due to the fact that if my husband decides to check out the game that I say ridiculous things like, "What's a line backer do? When they bend over like that before going, "hut, hut, hut", what happens if they fart?"

Here are things I won't be doing on Sunday:





Cooking.

Sundays are the day of rest. If Tom wants something, he's welcome to make it. I'm always in awe of the women who are like, "My husband wanted to throw a Superbowl party so I need to make a list on what I'm going to make!" My face is all:


This is because its always on the tip of my tongue to go, "Why do you have to cook if your husband wants to throw the party?" Then I remember, oh, right, some people LIKE to cook. So keep quiet, Amber.


Shouting.

It drives me insane when people shout for no reason. So an overpaid padded player drops the ball? Big deal. I was more upset when the show Friends made us wait to find out what would happen after Ross said the name Rachel at his wedding to Emily. That's something to shout about. We had to wait like THREE MONTHS to witness the aftermath of that debacle. You don't shout over a fumble. You shout over cliffhangers and when things like this happen:



Rooting For A Certain Team


I generally pick who I want to win based on the uniform color. The Seahawks have better colors. Remember when Starter Jackets were all the rage? I had a Dallas one. Not because I liked the team but because I liked the colors. So people would be like, "How about those cowboys?" and I'd go,


Then I'd realize, "oh RIGHT, I'm wearing a team jacket, sort of."


Go Online And Bash Moves That Players Make

I'm always in awe on how passionate some people get online. This one chick was all, "If you say a bad word about *insert football player here* I am UNFRIENDING you." Over FOOTBALL! I was tempted to bash said football player just to see if she was telling the truth. I didn't. But it took all my willpower not to comment, "You know it's a GAME, right? *Insert football player here* doesn't even know you exist."


Run Through The Streets After The Game

I'm on base housing. If we tried to do this, the base police would be called. I'd be tempted to run through the streets because FOOTBALL IS OVER, YAY! No more horrible games interrupting my shows! So maybe I WOULD run through the streets. But wait. I can't. Base police. Maybe I'll make a sign that says, "IT'S OVER!" and place it in my yard. But then people might think I was talking about my marriage or something and base police would knock on the door, making sure we weren't having domestic issues (my husband has gone to many a domestic issue. People on base are pretty crazy sometimes.)

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So if you're watching the game, have fun! Just know that I'll be on the couch reading.

Or playing Barbies with my daughter.

Or going out and buying a big bucket of chicken because people's Instagram pictures of their Superbowl foods will undoubtably make me hungry.

Go Seahawks, but only because I like their uniform more!


36 comments:

  1. HaHa - this made me smile this morning!
    We usually watch the Super Bowl but more for the commercials than anything since we don't even follow pro football. We are having people over but I'm just keeping it simple - taco bar and Texas margaritas!!!
    I don't care who wins quite frankly!!

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  2. I've never understood American Football (as we call it in the UK!), they keep stopping. The goal's at the end, why don't they keep running? But, I'm not a big sports watcher anyway, I might make some snacks anyway, though, I do like my food!

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  3. Bwahahahaha. I do like football, but I am not invested in this Super Bowl because I'm not really fans of either of these teams. I do like to see the commercials, though. (but the best ones will be all over the TV on Monday) If I had to pick, I'm for the Seahawks. I actually don't remember what their uniform is, but I am not a Peyton Manning fan so I always root against him on principle. :) --Lisa

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  4. hahaaha!! I HATE football! And I will never watch the superbowl because last year my husband sent me a text message during the half-time show telling me that if he was ever to leave me for someone else it would be Beyonce... I also hate Beyonce.

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  5. you spelled "hockey" wrong ;)

    Imagine my surprise last year when being a house of hockey loving Canucks; suddenly men were showing up at my door for Superbowl Sunday. WTF? I did NOT plan a Superbowl Party. I would remember something like that. I had no food. I had no beer (good thing since our Pastor was included in the group.)

    thankfully they all have better wives..I mean cooks, who sent their hubbies with wings, pizza and chips. I think I cut some cheese for them.

    they seemed to be enjoying themselves...and then...boob.
    Did I mention my Pastor was here?
    A room full of loudly cheering men that goes suddenly quiet is very, very eerie.
    I opened chips.

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  6. Oh my gosh! You totally crack. me. up! We are not pro football people, but I do enjoy a good Super Bowl party, and I enjoy watching the Super Bowl. But in our house, we get pretty passionate about college football, and we tell at the tv. Lol.

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  7. In my house, there are only two women. There is my mother, and there is me. We are NOT football people. Truly, we are not. We never watch sports. Ever. Except maybe figure skating (mom loves it) and if there is synchronized swimming, I may watch it. I love anything synchronized but there is never anything synchronized. Anwyay, that being said, I looked at my mom last night and said "you know, there's been a lot of predictions about the Superbowl this year. A lot of them are saying the Seahawks will win... (thats my home team) and I am afraid. So very afraid!" and she agreed with all her heart. Now, why would two non-football fans feel that way?! So weird.

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  8. LOL - I really am not a big football fan. I don't get the game, I don't understand the crazed fans, and to be honest, if I'm ever watching it I'm actually watching the sexy asses in those super tight uni's.

    I'll be having my birthday dinner Sunday and then leaving before my parents throw on the game. Oh and Red Hot Chili Peppers and Bruno Mars are the half-time entertainment I believe (read it somewhere). As if they couldn't find a worse combo...

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  9. bahahaha love it! I hate how people get all bent out of shape over football especially on facebook STUPID! lol i used to pick teams based on colors too HAHA

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  10. We'll probably watch the game for he commercials. Mostly I like the Super Bowl because it's an excuse to eat junk food for dinner.

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  11. STOP! Why did you have to post the picture of the saddest moment on Lost :-(

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  12. Is it sad that after reading this entry my only thought is, "CHARLIE!"? I totally cried during Lost at that scene. Haha. :)

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  13. Thankfully my resident football junkie is heading over for an afternoon with the boys for the Superbowl. I couldn't be more thrilled that after Sunday I won't have to deal with it for at least a few months. Hmmm... Maybe I should steal your sign idea and have it waiting for him when he gets home. Wonder what kind of reaction I could get out that?

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  14. I'll be "watching" the game (read: stuffing my face with chips and talking) but I won't be doing any of those other things either. ;-)

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  15. I'll be cooking Sunday, but I cook every Sunday. I'm in the Loves Cooking category.

    The game will be on, and I will watch commercials and read like I always do. I don't give a fig's fart about NFL football.

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  16. This is too funny. Thankfully after I moved out of my Dad's home i don't have to watch sports if I don't want to and since my team is out I probably won't watch. I'll be reading too!

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  17. Almost everything you described is me watching a football game, especially the shouting. Most definitely the shouting. Actually that is me watching hockey too!

    I don't care about either team playing in the Super Bowl though, so this Sunday will remain fairly quiet at my home. :)

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  18. I'll be watching the COMMERCIALS. That's it. :)

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  19. I am over the moon excited that it will not be airing in my house for the first time in I don't know how many years! Hubby is going to see our son at college & watch the game! I will be at home in a very peaceful and quiet house.

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  20. We're hosting a Super Bowl party so I will be cooking. But I love to cook so that's okay. Neither my husband nor I are football fans, but we both like to socialize so it should be fun. Of course, reading on the couch sounds pretty good, too :)

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  21. Yes, yes! Not Penny's Boat! That's a reason to scream. I'll never understand the grunting and groaning when something happens in sports. When people say, "Ohhhhhh!" I can't do a good example of it without a video.
    The food. I want the food. And I may check out the commercial with the three men from Full House. Oh yes.

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  22. Crazy eyes! Have you see "Orange is the new black?" A netflix original Something tells me you would love it. And yeah Football. Who cares? But a documentary about wild pigs in Michigan. I'm there

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  23. The GIF associated with the "not cooking" is hilarious! If ever my hubs wanted to throw a superbowl party, he'd be smart enough to say "let's get pizza". :D And we don't much care for professional sports either. Hope our son forgives us for that in the future ;).

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  24. Some LITTLE BITTY kid asked me the other day who I was for in the Super Bowl and I believe I may have said something like, "Um, I like cheese dip?" because I had no clue who was playing. Oops. I don't understand football, and I don't care to admit it.

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  25. I LOVE it! Nailed exactly how I feel, down to grabbing a bucket of chicken. Haha!

    I'm visiting from SITS and I'm LOVING the blog. Thanks for the Saturday laugh.

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  26. We will have the super bowl on at our house. My married kid and his family are coming over. This grandma will be snuggling a grandbaby while the boys/men take care of cooking what they want to eat.

    Loved the pictures you used, great post.

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  27. Knowing me I'll be flipping back and forth and generally not giving a rat's butt. I'm a hockey girl, not football. Super what? Just pass me the chicken wings and leave me alone. Haha.

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  28. We won't be watching the game. I think Angel's fundamentally opposed to football, and I just don't care about any sport. If someone happens to invite me to a party, though, I will go and eat their food...

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  29. HAHAHA I love your honesty and the fact that I've definitely seen people doing almost all of these things and it doesn't make much sense to me either! Really, the only reason hubby and I watch is for the commercials! I mean come on, who doesn't love the clydesdale commercials?!
    -Marley

    http://www.afandlove.blogspot.com/

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  30. I can totally relate. Football isn't the sport for me. Luckily, it's not the sport for my husband either. Try as I might, I just don't get the gist of the game.
    Super Bowl, however, is the one time of year I will watch football. It's not for the game; it's for the commercials. This year I'll be hanging in the lobby of a hotel partying it up with friends.

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  31. Ha ha we don't have the football craze here, move to Belgium! Here it is all soccer and rugby and, heaven help us I don't get this one at all cycling!! But, because we have a pub it all happens at the pub and not at home.

    Hope you have a great Sunday!

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  32. Since the NE Patriots are out, I don't care who wins. Besides I have to go to bed for work that night

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  33. I never got on board with Lost but even I loved the Not Penny's Boat moment! I married a sports fan and even though we don't care about these teams, not watching the Super Bowl would be blasphemy in this house! I'm excited for the commercials because I hear they're great and have been avoiding watching them early!

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  34. I love the seahawks colors, but I love Peyton Manning more so I am all for the Broncos. I hate cooking and definitely won't be today. I am still recovering from the crud I had last week. Greg is going to a party and I will be watching the game alone.

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