Thursday, January 16, 2014

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: When Recipes Go Wrong

"It's not cooking! I following the recipe and it's NOT COOKING!" I shrieked the other night.

This is why I should NOT follow a recipe on the back of the foil box. I mean, duh.

The recipe was for chicken thighs and you put spices and vegetables around them. Then you covered it with foil and cooked it for 50 minutes.

I did this.

But the chicken thighs were still pink the middle.

"I FOLLOWED THE RECIPE!" I shouted again. "I hate cooking. I'm done. No more cooking for me. We'll have to win the lottery and hire a cook because cooking SUCKS!" I'd have given the chicken the middle finger if Natalie hadn't wandered in the kitchen.

"It's fine," Tom said. "We'll stick it back in the oven. That's all."

So we set the timer for ten minutes. Surely the chicken would be ready by then.


The chicken was still bloody and gross.

"Cooking can kiss my ass," I hissed at Tom. There were no kids in the room at this point.

"Gee, I wonder where Natalie gets her dramatics," Tom answered, deadpan.

And you know what else? The vegetables were still hard even though the recipe said the vegetables would be soft.

I am not the best cook. But I do try.

It just upsets me when something doesn't go right. Especially when I'm hungry and ready to eat.

We ended up scraping the cooked bits of chicken mixed with the hard vegetables. It was like some weird chicken salad. The kids were afraid of it so they had like two bites and claimed they were full.

I really wish I could hire a private chef.

Maybe one day?

(I doubt it. But a woman can hope..)


  1. I'm a really terrible cook. Terrible. I'm a good baker, though. How does that work again?
    Oh yes. Cookies vs. handling raw meat.
    Such a difference.

  2. I'm not a terrible cook, but I hate cooking. It's such a mess, then the kids don't like anything anyway, and then there's a big mess. But I found a website that I love. It's and they have really good recipes. Both of them are stay at home moms turned bloggers, and, so far, I haven't made anything on there that hasn't turned out good. They have pictures, and really good instructions. I love their spicy honey chicken and the bacon wrapped chicken skewers, YUM! Good luck!

  3. Oh no. Been there! This is exactly why I always have a frozen pizza at the ready! Don't give up! Unless you win the lottery, of course!

  4. That stinks. I've found that anytime I try a new recipe, my oven has to be at least 10 degrees warmer than what they say and I usually have to cook at least 5 minutes longer.

    Kudos for trying something new! :)

    P.s. We keep tortillas and cheese on hand for quesadillas when recipes go wrong. :)

  5. I like to cook but please don't make me bake!
    I've found that anytime I cook meat it always takes about 20 minutes longer than the recipe (sometimes more!).
    I hope you win the lottery!!!

  6. I love to cook! when you win the lottery, I'll come and be your cook.

  7. The secret of cooking... is to be fully aware that not all ovens are created equal. Well, they're supposed to be but they just don't behave equally. To be a good cook, you just need to get to know your oven intimately. Following directions do not always work. I mean the ingredients and stuff yes, they do work, but the cooking part, no, oftentimes no. Sometimes the food is ready before its supposed to be, sometimes it's not. You just need to have a good conversation with your oven. My new oven... it takes FOREVER to preheat. But once it reaches the right temperature, everything cooks way too fast, so its overdone, burned, whatever. It is irritating. I feel you. Dumb oven.

  8. My oven doesn't cook evenly. Plus if my oven and my stove is on the lights trip. I'm with you, cooking sucks, long live private cookds, wish more of us could afford them!

    we also have tortillas and cheese on hand for quesadillas for when it all goes wrong or I just couldn't be bothered!

  9. I am 100% on board with you on this post...I desperately wish for a personal chef!!-Ashley

  10. i feel your pain. i usually let my husband cook the meat dishes and i do the desserts. :)

  11. I'm with you and Tamara on this one. I suck at cooking. Baking I can do but cooking - not my forté at all.

  12. Ah yes, to have a private chef. I love to cook but for some reason loathe it when I have to do it for my family, or during a weekday.

  13. That is the worst, I hate when I spend all that time and it doesn't work out or it does work out but then none of the kids like it, makes me want to give up cooking all together!

  14. I am the same way! Turn into dramatics when a recipe goes wrong. Which is like always... I don't get it. It can work for everyone else, but not me?!

  15. Honestly, I'm pretty good at cooking and I still mess up chicken. It's so tricky.

  16. I'm not great, but I'm pretty good at getting a decent meal on the table. BUT, I absolutely cannot stand it when I try to cook something and it doesn't turn out right. I get mad at the recipe or the stove or the rice that I'm convinced is old and that's why half of it is burnt to the bottom of the pan. So yeah, I'm with you on that private chef thing. If I ever win the lottery, I'll get one for you too ;-)

  17. Furry Bottom is right,every oven is different... Kinda like kids... When I'm trying out a new recipe, usually the only part of it I follow is the ingredients. Time and temperature never seem to match up. Sometimes, you just gotta wing it.

  18. My oven has a mind of its own, it never follows the same timing as recipes! It can be very annoying!

  19. ugh i hate when that happens. i once followed a recipe to the last detail for "perfect, crispy sweet potato fries" and what happened? they came out burnt to hell.

    Vodka and Soda

  20. This has happened to me the last two times I've cooked a pork loin. I have everything else ready to go and the kids are washing their hands. Then Ken slices the meat and it is RAW in the middle!! GRRR!!!!

  21. Oh no! I'm sorry about your chicken. I love LOVE to cook, but recipes and I don't get along. I tend to wing it to wildly variable results. The biggest problem with that is that when I do make something fabulous, I can almost never recreate it. Sigh...

  22. aw, this story is no bueno. What I noticed though is that you covered the chicken with foil, which takes longer to cook. Chicken is usually cooked in the oven in 45 minutes. Longer if its covered by foil.


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