I rolled my eyes.
First, why would anyone give up soda? It's a delight. Second, why was she speaking in exclamation points? This was Target. My place of zen. She was spoiling my peace.
"I don't even MISS soda, I swear! I really don't!" Chatty Cathy continued. She was up pretty far ahead of me. Yet the entire store could probably hear her. Why wasn't she stepping outside? Or she could, I don't know, lower her volume. It took all my might not to march over to her and press my fingers against my lips like a librarian.
"Tea isn't bad at all! I look forward to it now! Yes, I have water with lunch, and tea with dinner! Sweet tea, mostly, but sometimes unsweet," Chatty Cathy blabbered.
An elderly woman passed me. We shared a Look that clearly said, "Why won't this lady shut it?"
It took all my might not to march over, snatch Chatty Cathy's phone and do this:
Look, if you aren't talking about something juicy--a friend who is having an affair with Juan down the street--a child who has special powers--John Krasinski coming to town--no one wants to hear your conversation. No one. So if you must talk in a store, lower the volume. If the person on the other end cannot hear you when you lower the volume, step outside. The entire store will thank you, I promise.
Chatty Cathy proceeded to yak for ten more minutes. I could still hear her when I made it across the store. And the finally, blissfully, it fell silent again.
Seriously.
If you can't wait to speak on the phone, keep it DOWN.
Posts
hahaha--honestly I kind of love eavesdropping on everything...at the very least it's fuel for the blog, right?
ReplyDeleteGiving up soda would never be an option here. I've often wondered how some people feel they have to be on a cell phone all the time. How did they get by prior to cell phones?
ReplyDeleteI hate when it's apparent that the loud talker thinks the one side of their conversation everyone around them can hear is so awesome. That makes me want to punch.
ReplyDeleteOMG! I work at a call center (much more glamorous than it sounds) and the lady who sits in the cubicle next to me SO FREAKING LOUD on every single call. Plus she is rude to customers... so it's more frustrating than you can imagine. ARg!
ReplyDeletehaha! I laughed at the part about the elderly lady exchanging glances with you!
ReplyDeleteThat is horrible. No one cares about your bloaty stomach, soda problem, lady!
I'm not a loud cell phone talker, can't even walk into a store with the kids & attempt to talk on the phone. LOL! I would go insane.
ReplyDeleteBut I have a confession..... I only drink soda once in a blue moon. I'm a total coca cola addict, but I don't drink it very often. Don't worry, you won't be hearing me talk about it across the aisle at Target! ha!
Do you remember those Nextel phones?! GOOD GOD!! THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!
ReplyDeleteOne of my student workers overheard another student in the hallway a few weeks ago talking on the phone. She was describing the STD she had gotten after a party and who the likely candidates were. Seriously!?! NO ONE wants to hear that!!
ReplyDeleteIt always makes me laugh when I'm at the store and walk past an aisle where someone is by themselves and talking - when they have the earpiece thing and aren't even holding a phone.
ReplyDeleteOne day I was on a flight somewhere and there was a girl in her early twenties going on and on with her boyfriend about how they could work out having sex while staying in a room with someone else. Verbatim: They could just throw a mattress on the floor and be really quiet.
ReplyDeleteThis convo happened on a plane. While people were moving up and down the aisle putting things in the overhead compartment before the plane took off.
You know what I wanted to do with that conversation?
THROW IT ON THE GROUND!!!
My biggest pet peeve is when people do this on the bus. One girl was dumb enough to ramble off her social security number, home address and full name when apparently talking to an insurance company. ...on a bus so crowded people were standing and stuffed in like sardines.
ReplyDeleteHaha. At first I thought you were saying that she was talking to you about this! I was going to ask why you didn't just tell her you weren't interested in hearing about it. ;-)
ReplyDeleteugh cell phones - enabling the OverShare of millions and almost always when you are trapped on public transit.
ReplyDeleteOne of these days, I'm gonna butt into a conversation. rude is a rude does.
Oh that is annoying! It drives me crazy when people talk on the phone the entire time they are checking out, I feel bad for the cashier.
ReplyDeleteYou are too funny about the juicy gossip making loud phone talking okay. Ha, that really is true :-P
ReplyDeleteThis is my husband. I swear he must be deaf. That's the only explanation for his volume - both on the phone and off!
ReplyDeleteAt least he's considerate enough to go away when he's on the phone. Probably because he's tired of me *shushing* him.
Agreed! Although sometimes it's entertaining to hear some of the things that people are talking about. :D Great gif, so funny!
ReplyDeletei feel the same! hush or text already!!!
ReplyDeleteThis drives me crazy. I hate talking on the phone though, so there is something when I have to listen to other people's conversations that drives me a little batty.
ReplyDeleteI've always wondered why they couldn't lower their voices. I always give them very pointed looks if they look at me or turn my direction. Drives me bonkers and makes it hard to concentrate!
ReplyDelete