Friday, July 25, 2014

Stuff Tom and I Did While Kid Free

My parents were nice and took the kids for two weeks.

This meant Tom and I got to be alone.

Here's what we did:

--A happy dance, for starters, because we were KID FREE! (I mean, we knew we'd miss them, but...)

--Watched adult TV shows during the day. Game of Thrones, to name one. Normally we can't do this, because the kids will be like, "What's a boob doing out?" Or if a swear word is uttered, Natalie will gasp and go, "That's not a friendly word." I also could watch some episodes of Orange Is The New Black, which Tom does not appreciate. "There's lesbian sex!" I told him. His answer? "I don't care. Most of the women on this show scare me." "She's supposed to. That's Crazy Eyes."

--Went to the movie theater to watch adult movies. We're usually stuck seeing a Disney flick or whatever the new animation movie is. This is okay, but sometimes I want some crude humor or a sweet chick flick. Tom and I went to see 22 Jump Street, which is hilarious. He wanted to see that new Planet of the Apes movie, but I said no way, I don't want to sit around watching angry monkeys. I tried to get him to see Tammy, he said nope, Melissa McCarthy is not funny at all, to which I gasped and said he was WRONG, that she's hilarious. It can sometimes take a while to agree on a movie. He loves the ones where things blow up, I like the ones with sappy lines. So we meet in the middle with crude humor. We also saw Sex Tape.

--Did adult stuff. Not as much as we probably should have, but, well, we're getting older and I'd rather read. Also, we had these grand plans to get freaky all over the house, because we COULD and didn't have to worry about someone running in, but then we'd go, "Well, we eat on this table though," or "If we had company over, I'd feel incredibly uncomfortable if they were sitting in a place we did the nasty on." As I said, we're old.

--Ate a lot of TV dinners. Since the kids weren't around, I didn't feel the need to cook as much. This sort of irked Tom, who would be like, "Where's dinner?" and I'd say, "In the freezer!" We also could eat while watching TV. We make a point to eat at the table with the kids, because the experts say they'll be well rounded and won't do crack or some other psych babble crap. But I have to admit, eating in front of the TV was the best. We also won't with the kids, because they are messy and I don't want spaghetti sauce on my couch.

--Watched a lot of reality shows. Since we were in Texas, I recorded a lot of my shows so I had a lot to get caught up on (my DVR ate a lot of them though. Hmph.) Tom did not understand the Real Housewives. "Why is she crying? She's rich! She has nothing to cry over!" he'd shout. Or, "Ew! Her face looks all pulled back and plastic. Why do women think this looks good?" Big Brother confounded him too. "I don't mind if you're gay, but don't be bouncing around me and climbing on my back."

--Went to adult restaurants. Well, they weren't super fancy, but they were places that we had never brought the kids to. We went to a place called Nic's Grill, which was on Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives. We also ate at a German restaurant, which is pricey, hence why we don't like bringing the kids because yikes, added cost. We went to a place where they cook in front of you.

--Kicked each other's butt at Dave and Buster's. You can bring kids here, but we never have. We think of it as an adult playground. Plus, it's hard for me to order adult beverages around Tommy, because then he asks a billion questions: "Are you drunk? Can you see me? How many fingers am I holding up? In school, they said alcohol was bad." Natalie always asks for a sip, because the adult drinks look FUN to her. I explain that no, they are for adults only and she'll sigh and go, "Well, that's just rude."

We had a lot of fun and my parents even said they'd do it again next year!

The above GIF is from Orange Is The New Black, which I still feel like Tom should appreciate...


  1. Haha! I read both posts together and i completely understand. Adult things are fun as i remember. Going to concerts and being lazy is what i miss the most!
    When i was younger i could not wear regular underwear. I had a constant wedgy. But since i got pregnant i could not wear thongs they were bugging me. Well when i was pregnant most underwear bugged me except one that had so many holes in it and once my doctor saw it. What a dreadful moment.
    Anyway, the baby came and those super comfortable underwear i discovered are still the way to go!

  2. we love our kids but when there's a chance they can be looked after by other people, hell yes we take advantage of that!!!!!! glad you enjoyed your time kid free :)

    Vodka and Soda

  3. Glad you enjoyed your kid-free time. And I'm happy you'll have the chance again next year!

  4. I can't wait for kid free time. It's seriously the best! It looks like y'all took advantage of it!

  5. sounds like a fun time! I usually get my adult time alone while Dave takes the kids somewhere. It would be nice to have the house kid free with both adults home some time!

  6. It looks like you are gonna be counting the days until next year. It looks like you had tons of fun! How was Sex Tape?

  7. I think it's awesome that you guys got a break!

  8. I think all parents should have time for just themselves. Yes family time is great but if the parents are stressed and not connecting, then family time won't be as much fun.

    Glad you enjoyed each other!

  9. Tom should totally appreciate OITNB.

    Haha I dont think Id feel comfortable doing the nasty all over the house either.

  10. This cracked me up! As an empty nest mom I can tell you - you are NOT old!
    And 'doing adult stuff' is way better but just because you can doesn't mean you will then either, because by then you really are just too tired! Ha.

  11. The "Did Adult Stuff" got you a big, fat high-five from me!

    Same thing here.

    The teenager left for 8 days last month.

    Nothing like what we thought. We were tired. A good movie was on. I had crap to do for work. Blah, blah, blah.

    Thank you for making me feel a tad normal!!

    This was awesome!

  12. Sounds like an incredible week (or so)!!! I can't even remember the last time we went to the movie together - how was Sex Tape? I want to see it!!
    Natalie cracks me up - I would say it was rude to if someone had a fun drink and wouldn't share:)

  13. Next year, after they're done with your kids, I'll send mine over ;). Two weeks is certainly the commitment! What great grandparents. I hope I have the time and energy to do the same for my kids' kids when they have them many years down the road.

  14. Orange is the new black is our absolute favorite and so fun to read this! Sounds like you had some really nice alone tone :)

    xx 365hangers

  15. hahaha.. I appreciate your honesty. It's refreshing. As refreshing as being kid free, I bet!
    I have to agree with Tom about Melissa McCarthy. Don't get me wrong - I think she's VERY talented. I just liked her better in Gilmore Girls because she was taken seriously as a friend, a wife, a mother, etc. Some of her recent roles are just creepy.
    I think she's more funny than the roles she gets, let's just put it like that.

  16. Yay to being kid free temporarily! I remember someone saying once that she loves having her house all to herself because she knows it's temporary. There's something about that short period of time of freedom, knowing the ones you love are coming back soon.

    I think I've gotten my 14-year-old stepdaughter addicted to Big Brother. I just mentioned Ariana Grande's brother was on the show and she flipped--apparently teens/tweens know him from YouTube and Instagram. She just asked me for the password to watch Live Feeds on my laptop and sat and watched them for a while. She LOVES Frankie. Although I have to say, the men in that house are VERY physically affectionate with each other, considering only one is gay.

  17. Two kid-free weeks?! Ahh! I LOOOVE Orange is the New Black. I totally binged watched the whole first and second seasons when my son stopped sleeping. My husband isn't too into it either, which I don't get! I really want to see 22 jump street also. Sounds like you had a great time!

  18. Haha I LOVE this list! I am so glad you guys got some kid free time. And uh, something is wrong with Tom for not liking OITNB!

  19. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH because sitting around a table means the kids won't do crack - that is EXACTLY why I do it too AHHAHAHHAHA. dying. Glad you had an awesome time with your man. It sounds like heaven to me!

  20. this may be the most perfect post ever.

    if only it were about MY kid free weekend.
    Which I've never had in 10 years.
    *heavy sigh*

  21. I'm "old" too, no shame over here. I am jealous of your jump street movie trip- I want to see it so bad! You know you have kid free time when you can see TWO movies.

  22. OMG two weeks...two glorious weeks...i don't know if i would survive BUT it sounds sooo good right now! Glad you had some adult time, its always good!

  23. Your parents seriously need to have a talk with mine! They've NEVER offered. I wonder if its because I have three? Maybe I should have stopped at two kids :P


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