1. I don't feel the need to do kinky things in bed.
Maybe this makes me a prude. Fine. I'm a prude. But I don't want to use whips and chains. That frightens me. If Tom showed up with a whip I'd either A) laugh or B) scream.
2. The period sex scene in the book made me gag. (It's apparently not in the movie.)
When I'm on my period, I feel gross. I want to stay in sweatpants for days and stuff chocolate in my face. I may or may not brush my hair. I don't want anyone to touch me.
3. "You're here because I'm incapable of leaving you alone."--Christian
That's some scary shit right there. I don't want a man around me at all times. I need my space.
4. I don't like the way Christian stares at Anastasia.
Don't stare at me intently because I'll worry I have something on my face. I'm a messy eater.
5. Helicopters frighten me. Christian has his own, which he flies.
I do not like helicopters. I'm afraid they'll crash. I don't like flying to begin with. If you put me in a small container and ask me to have fun, it won't happen. I'll request that fun be had on solid ground, thank you.
Does Christian weird you out? Or am I the only one who doesn't appreciate rich freaky men with play rooms? It seems like it's the beginning of a 20/20 murder story to me....
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I hate the whole thought of her needing him and him "owning" her or whatever... I don't know the whole story, so I'm not sure about details of that, but... it's completely the opposite of how I think! I am an independent woman, and I don't NEED anyone.
ReplyDeletehe's inherently abusive and a control freak. some people may have healthy bsdm relationships, but Christian Grey and Ana do not.
ReplyDeleteI tried to read it. I don't think I got past the first chapter, not sure I try to give any book 3 chapters but it was just not my cup of tea.
ReplyDeleteI've read the book and kept my mouth shut for as long as I could because I have nothing nice to say about it. I don't feel drawn to BDSM nor do I practice it but something tells me that's not how a BDSM relationship works. To me, the books are simply a romanticized portrayal of an abusive relationship. And the fact that so many women find Christian to be the epitome of a perfect man is what scares me the most.
ReplyDeleteI attempted to read the book. I just couldn't finish it. It scares me to death too. I don't even think I will watch the movie.
ReplyDeleteoh yeah, Christian is a creepy character for sure.
ReplyDeleteThe period scene was gross, so not my thing. I didn't mind it, but I wasn't in love with the book as others were about it. I do love a more alpha kinda guy but that was over the top.
ReplyDeleteIt sickens me this movie will clear $100 million or more. I should have stuck with making short films. Just garbage. And the main actor doesn't do anything for me.
ReplyDeleteI read the books but have zero desire to see the movie! And, I don't think that Christian was cast very well - so many better choices to play him!!!
ReplyDeleteHe is kinda a creep. My husband actually asked me if I wanted to see the movie (I don't think he knows exactly what it's about). I told him I'd rather wait and watch it at home.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read the books, I loved them! A friend of mine was reading the same time with me and we'd giggle and laugh each afternoon when we'd talk about it. Made us feel like young, sneaky girls.
ReplyDelete(We're both married and too busy to have the kind of life portrayed by either in the books.)
I just chalk it up as fiction. Just like Batman or Twilight or any of those other movies that burn out pretty quick.
I agree. I enjoyed them as FICTION. Everyone's all up in arms about the movie, saying it violates women and sensationalizes unhealthy relationships... but honestly, it's just fiction. It will burn out just as fast as it hits redbox.
DeleteThe fact that he bosses her around and makes her sign a contract and tells her what she can and can't do is just the end of the line for me. Like I posted this week I will not read or see either. I think it is a very unhealthy relationship just like Edward and Bella's was in Twilight and girls don't need that crap.
ReplyDeleteI didn't read any of the books and your list of 5 creepy things are pretty creepy. Now armed with that and all I have heard about the book/movie are enough to keep me away indefinitely!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty much the only person I know who refuses to read the books or watch the movie. My hubby and I have made a mutual decision to avoid pornography in our marriage, and this kind of fits the bill for us.. I keep hearing, "It's not really pornographic though!".. but then I read lists like this and hear things like, "period sex scene" and I'm like... uhhhh... haha! Yeah, I'll pass. ;-) - www.domesticgeekgirl.com
ReplyDelete:D Thank you for that!
ReplyDeleteI have not read the books,nor do I have a desire to, and considering your list, I think I'lll pass on the movie. I was the only one in my little neighborhood back in IL who wasn't huddled up in the circle salivating over a book and a fictional man named Christian.
XOXO
I haven't read the book yet so I don't know any of the scenes, but just from hearing friends talk about it, I think I'd rather wait to watch it in the comfort of my own home. I have a feeling I'll be red as a stop sign the whole time!
ReplyDeleteThis made me giggle! And no I won't be seeing the movie....definitely too freaky for this old school mama!
ReplyDeleteI tried to read the books but couldn't get past the 3rd page.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, YES!!! You are so right about ALL of this. He's a freak and a creep. My ideas of "sexy" are a little different than his, I guess.
ReplyDeleteSexy is helping me with the laundry, or offering to take a night feeding with the baby. Sexy is NOT whips and blindfolds! 😀
ReplyDeleteHaha this made me laugh! I read the books and just view it as fiction so it doesn't bother me.
ReplyDeleteI read the first book and got bored, so I never read the rest. Probably won't see the movie either. I think Christian Grey is just weird. From the previews for the movie, my husband thought he was a vampire, which made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteThis is a series I have no interest in. Creepy...!
ReplyDeletei AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF....Seriously....you are hilarious...and I agree with ALL of your reasons!
ReplyDeleteThis post is great! I read the books and had absolutely no desire to see the movie. I'm just not comfortable with how dominant and possessive he is. I have had a few very possessive boyfriends and I seriously hated that kind of relationship more than words can describe.
ReplyDeleteI think he's so frightening, but I haven't read or seen it!
ReplyDeleteAnd I've been in a helicopter. I was so scared!! It was ok, though.
LOL!!! I am glad to hear I am not the only one that couldn't really get into the book! When the movie came out I tried watching it and I just couldn't get past the first 30 min either. I thought it was just me ty for sharing!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteI haven't really read or watch fifty shades of grey.. But after reading your post, it might be a good idea to stay it this way.. hmm
ReplyDeleteThe movies are crap. But the books are a fun read. It's just a story.
ReplyDeleteFunny, I have two of the books and after watching just part of the movie, I had no desire to read the books. I guess the "owning" and having someone who was thinking about sex 90% of the time, hits too close to home for me. For some, it is just a story or movie, but for others, like myself, it's just not fun. Great read!
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more. I read all the books when they came out and I am not even sure why I kept reading after that period sex scene. GAG.
ReplyDeleteI don't have much idea about "Fifty Shades of Grey." I do wonder if I am naive for such. I love reading books than watching but when I saw the book from the Booksale, I did not buy it. I guess, it is not just my cup of tea.
ReplyDeleteI've seen the movie, but the books are waaayy better. Am not promoting it to anyone because reading it is by my choice. Reading those books helps me to understand and learn things, because I have good friends who are into that world (but they dont like the book because they said it uber exaggerated). lol
ReplyDeleteBahahhaa. This made me laugh. I DID read all the books. Not because I particularly enjoyed them. I started reading them to see what the fuss was all about. And then once you start, you just want to finish them off to see how the story ends/if it can get any weirder than it started off as. (Which, the answer was, YES). I will not be seeing the movies though. I think I'd be so uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny, I haven't read the book or seen the movie yet. Maybe I shouldn't waste my time.
ReplyDeleteYou are so not alone - those books disgust me. That is NOT what romance looks like to me, even WITH a BDSM allowance. Christian Grey is a creep, and Ana was weak and naive.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, I actually loved the book minus all the sex stuff. I am actually re- reading them right now. Funny that I cam across this blog. To each their own - Ha line from the book!
ReplyDeleteI don't like the books and I think the movie was not good at all... But hey, I really like the way you write :)
ReplyDelete1. The word you're looking for is vanilla, not prude. A prude looks down on those who don't practice sex the same way.
ReplyDelete2. Period sex can be very healthy and help with cramps. BUT it isn't for everyone. I am a sex blogger and am having issues getting over it. Lol. I don't think period sex has a place in an erotica, though.
3-5. The more I read about this book the more I feel that Christian Grey should spend some of his fortunes on a therapist.
These books paint the BDSM community in a horrible lighting. Safe words are there for a reason, and he ignored the only time she ever used it. Also, it paints sex in a bad lighting. He took her virginity and she got off? Ha! No. That is not 90% of people's first experience with sex.
Christian Grey is a psychopath who needs help. Serious help. Straight jacket kind of help. He's controlling, demanding, and too dependent on others. Idolizing him or comparing men to him is bad for people's health. No one wants a partner like that, and if they do, they need help, too.
Finally, have you read the books? I couldn't! I don't understand how she got published. Her 'inner goddess' her 'flower was quivering' dafuq? No. I can find better smut online for free. There is free smut out there that doesn't sound like it was written by a 3rd grader. The woman seriously needs to put in a crap ton of practice writing before trying to release another book.
He doesn't appeal to me at all either. Especially how he mentions her name in every sentence that he speaks!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't handle the book or the film either. I'm no prude but the writing just put me off, it was super creepy!
ReplyDeleteKatja xxx
www.katnapped.com
Hahaha you're definitely not a prude! Christian is creepy!
ReplyDeletethis is so funny, oh god the second one is the funny,omg i forget his name, like how can i forget, it must be because too long didnt watch his videos!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I didn't see the movies or read the books and other than what I've hear around the Internet, I don't know much about it. Thanks for sparing me the trouble LOL!
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot of people who are into BDSM and stuff like that but it is terrifying indeed. Yet the book/movie has tons of misconceptions about that culture (for example Christian ignoring Anastasia even after she said her safety word) which creates confusion/even more repulsion. I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone who's just found out about this culture
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry but I've never read the book nor have I seen the movie. I haven't heard too many people talk about it either. I must live under a rock or something, I know. I'm sorry that I can't contribute more to this conversation.
ReplyDeleteBeth || www.TheStyleBouquet.com
LOL. You are one of the funniest bloggers. I read the book and saw the movie. I like the series for a good laugh and just as a story not reality. I like reading and this book was not meant to be taken serious lol. To me its just a book to get a rise out of you and I think the author definitely got her theme met. hahaha.
ReplyDeleteIsaly Holland | http://www.memoriesbyisaly.com
To those who enjoy the book will most likely appreciate the movie. We are entitled to our own opinion and as for me, I wouldn't be recommending it to be seen by young adults.
ReplyDeleteNo I was not freaked out. There are a lot of main characters who have control issues that viewers/readers find 'sexy'. To each their own.
ReplyDeleteI really, really wanted to like the series that was basically dubbed the new Twilight but I really didn't like it either! Nikki x
ReplyDeleteI developed a crush on Jamie Dornan during his short stint on Once Upon a Time. I can't watch Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm afraid it will change how I feel about him. I couldn't finish the first book either. I'm not a prude though. The writing was just atrocious. If you're going to write that kind of stuff you really need to learn all of the different synonyms for private parts...reading the same word over and over again gets old real quick.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very entertaining post! I enjoyed the first two books but struggled to finish the last one. I hate repetive scenes. As far as the first movie went, terrible acting. Lol you have your points and it's nice to see it from a different perspective
ReplyDeleteI did read the books but did not see the movies or have any desire to see the movies. I found certain aspects of the characters creepy, but I really looked as Christian as more of a damaged, lost soul. Then again, that is probably the naive romantic in me.
ReplyDeleteperiod sex scene is a big NO. also kinky is not for me either haha, its nice when a guy you know stares at you, but if its a stranger that is some crazy thing haha. i love helicopter ride! which is I can have that instead of uber everyday hehe can't wait to see the movie
ReplyDeleteI suppose there's something out there for everyone. If this book/film is your thing, great, if not, that's fine too. It's not for me, but hey ho - variation is what makes the world interesting! :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha yeah Fifty Shades of Grey freaks me out sometimes too... But Jamie is just super hot so I guess I'll go to see second movie as well lol! Even though I hated the book and didn't even finish the first one
ReplyDeleteI am totally with you on that! In fact, I refused to read the books because of its themes and storyline, just not my thing! So the movies, no way, Jose!
ReplyDeleteHa! A funny review, although I didn't read the book or see the movie. I do agree with you on several of those points, though :)
ReplyDeleteNever saw the movie but now very curious lol
ReplyDeleteI hate this movie, it gave me the creeps to the earth's end! Like get a life, Christian! I love everything you've listed! 😂😂 So with you on this, every damn point!
ReplyDeletexoxo
Radhika
Expressing Life
When the movie first came out, I could not understand what the hype was all about. For me, I thought it was nothing but glorfied, abusive sex. Control freaks make the ugly side of me surface. Not good books, not a good movie. Just my thoughts. I know there are others who think otherwise.
ReplyDeleteIts very rare for me to watch TV or movies in cinemas. When in hear of it, I mean the 1st sequel, I became curious to know what are this people in FB talking about. I ask my husband to buy a copy and we watched it.After 1 hour and half, now I know why a lot of people like to watch this movies.
ReplyDeleteI just watch it out of curiosity. .hahaha!
I've read the book a few time, I have to disagree with you on some of these. Yes the period scene freaks me out a little. And he's a little intense, but he lightens up a lot as you go on through the series. And she consents to everything, so it's two consenting adults doing weird stuff in bed. Not for everyone, but some people prefer it. I'm ready for the next movie.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THIS! I will never see this movie because it is so kinky. I feel like this is basically next to pornography. Thanks for your post!
ReplyDeleteKaitlyn
www.mypostpartumlife.com
TMI alert, but I'm actually quite kinky. I like exploring different things in the bedroom, but it's cool when people don't. Also, period sex is a non-issue for me. I have a black beach towel just for it haha BUT, as far as the relationship in the book... he's manipulative. It's an emotionally abusive relationship. there is nothing sexy about it.
ReplyDeleteI din not read the book, but I saw the film. Now I don't like to read it at all.
ReplyDeleteI've not read the book either, nor have i see the movie. I know people like this book. Maybe one day...
ReplyDeleteI really liked 50 Shades of Grey, but I can definitely understand why some people wouldn't like it. The movies do seem to be a bit more conservative :)
ReplyDeleteI have never read the books, or watched the movies. I had friends love it and hate it, I may read it one day... when I don't have toddlers and have time to sit down and read more than one book in a year period. haha
ReplyDeleteI read all three books but absolutely refuse to watch the movie mostly because of bad grammar lol
ReplyDeleteFor Christian I have both loves and hates about him and whips are definitely hates. Him around and helicopter flying, definitely loves lol
LOL! I watched the movie but I did not read the book. Period sex is a big NO for me eek!! When I watched the movie Mr. Grey feels me weird when he show his playroom. I will love the helicopter for sure haha!!
ReplyDeleteIt freaks me out too! You took the words right out of my mouth!
ReplyDeleteFifty Shade Of Grey is the ***** books ever (I let you guess what I wrote there). This book just get me mad. I hate everything to do with it. The theme, the character, the writing, the story line. I have written a blog post (I'm not trying to spam - it might be useful to read) on this bleeping book:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.annanuttall.com/im-boycotting-fifty-shades-grey/
I've never really been into this book/movie. I think I tried watching it once and fell asleep. I did hear there are some deleted scenes that were in the book and not in the film. I agree with you on the whole "not being able to leave someone alone quote. It's a little too much.
ReplyDeleteI haven't watch the movie not even read the books. But I heard so much about this as most of my colleagues talk about this. But I think this kind of stuff doesn't suits to me well.
ReplyDeleteAfter watching the trailer honestly I would never want to watch it as it will never go with my interests. And now the book really freaks me out too with so many negative points, I would never go for such a creepy read!
ReplyDeleteI love it. All of it. I've read all of the books and the Fanfiction. It's the ultimate love story. They are 2 souls who love each other. If people would read the whole book they would realize he stops needing the Red Room of Pain and moves on.
ReplyDeleteI've read the entire trilogy and loved the entire story. It's fiction and people just need to chalk it up to that. I haven't seen the movie(s). I don't plan on it. I don't believe it's a book that's best casted for a movie. That movie would then be categorized as a very long porno/erotic movie. Lol!
ReplyDeleteI've never read the book nor have I seen the movie. I don't like it at all, and I think Christian is close, if not already, to being a stalker.
ReplyDeleteI think it's not a book that everyone will enjoy reading. I haven't read it, to be honest. I have yet to uncover why women love it so much.
ReplyDeleteLol, I was watching a movie recently that DID have a gross period scene right at the beginning of the movie. I hit delete, I don't have time for that.
ReplyDeleteI started to read the first book and just couldn't do it. Just wasn't my cup of tea. Thought the movie might be better, wrong again. To each their own.
ReplyDeleteI know many women that are obsessed with these movies. I tried reading the first book, just to see what the hype was about and just could not get into it. I saw how some could become interested in it, but the story and connection of the two main characters seemed forced. I have not seen any of the movies.
ReplyDeleteI never read the book or saw the movie! To me, it seemed like an abusive relationship, but then again, I didn't read the book nor do I have any desire to see the movie. Nope, not for me.
ReplyDeleteI have not read the books or seen any of the movies. I'm kind of with you on this one I don't think these movies would be anything I'm interested in. I have a couple of friends that love them though.
ReplyDeleteI have actually not read the book and got bored of the movie in the first half an hour. I don't really know what the fuss is all about.
ReplyDeleteHaven't read the book and after reading your Reason #2 above, I'm good. I TRIED to watch the 1st one but not my cup of tea. I do have the books - haven't read them - and the soundtrack. The soundtrack rocked.
ReplyDeleteYikes I have not read the books nor watched the movies. I appreciate the heads up about how weird they are.
ReplyDeleteI'm not exactly a fan but I do get why women like it so much, I just happen to be not one of those women that do. Lol.
ReplyDeleteNever really watched these movies or read the books. Did find those animated GIF’s quite funny though - sounds like I’m not missing much!
ReplyDeleteI read the books, and liked them. But not as in a real life situation, that's just too over the top. I had totally forgotten about the period scene. I'm with you on that for sure! YUCK! I haven't watched any of the movies, although I have wanted too.
ReplyDeleteI've never read the books or watched the movie. They're just not really my thing, you know?
ReplyDeleteI tried getting into the series but really couldn't. I didn't really like the style of the writing much. I know SO many people that loved it. The movie itself didn't bother me, although I only watched the first one.
ReplyDeleteI have not read the book and I wouldn't. The stuff in there can stay in there.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you! I don't want to do kinky things in bed either! When you said sex scene and period in the same sentence....I was done. I've never read the books, nor seen the movie...nor will I ever.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to read the books not only because of the content matter, but it's also terribly written. I couldn't get past the third chapter. How this women ever got published, is beyond me.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree... I read 200 pages before I realized this wasn't my style. Definitely not my fairytale romance..!
ReplyDeleteOh goodness, I couldn't agree more. I still don't understand why this book became so popular. It's terrible, honestly!
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious but on point! I couldn't agree more, not my style.
ReplyDeleteIt's a fun post. Well, I love this movie to be honest but the book is too much! Too many details!
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny...but I completely agree. I did not read the book or watch the movie.
ReplyDeleteI never had the desire to read the book or watch the movie. I look at it as glorified rape. really don't get all the hype about it. I happy that you share the same sentiment with me.
ReplyDeleteI attempted to read the book, but I just couldn't finish it. I bothers me as well...... I don't even think I will watch this movie.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved the books but I can agree that the whole thing if it were in real life would freak me out. I really don't feel the need to do anything insanely kinky in the bedroom either.
ReplyDeleteThis movie freaked me out too. I am not a fan and not looking forward to the other parts.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you. I am just not into those books.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more. These books freak me out and it just isn't my taste.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed all three books tremendously and have read them many times. It's fiction it's supposed to evoke thoughts and maybe feelings and it did that in my opinion. For example it make you hate it, which is a feeling :)
ReplyDeleteMy friends and I have discussed this many times, I like a part of Christian but not all of him. If he was part of Criminal minds episode this would have been a different story but its a sex and love story so many people overlook the cringe parts.
ReplyDeleteI am not a prude exactly, but am not someone who relishes in being overly sexual either. I was not impressed with the first movie, so I didn't have an interest in the others.
ReplyDeleteI never saw the movies nor have I read any of the books. Both are really popular but not my type of entertainment.
ReplyDeleteFifty Shades is not my type of entertainment. I enjoyed your post and knowing that most women do not really want what they are selling.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he is totally a super creep. I have no desire to stare at him on screen.
ReplyDeleteI don't think bad of people who are into it, its just that I am not. I am not for 50 shades. I never really cared about it. I don't understand whats all the hype about.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm not a big fan of the series either. To each his own, I guess. xo, Suzanne
ReplyDeleteFirst I did not even want to watch a movie (I did not read the novel), and when everyone looked at it before me, I decided to see what it was hype about. At the end of the film, I just said "And that's it?" In my opinion, the film is completely empty. Cristian is a selfish and sick creature, whose weaknesses hide behind control, and she is immature, stupid girl. Sex? They do not even know what it is.
ReplyDeleteI hated those books and movies. So weird to me.
ReplyDelete