Monday, October 19, 2015

How I Know My Husband Is A Cop

My husband is a military cop.

He does basically everything a civilian cop would do. Except he stays on the military base.

He has the same mindset as a cop as well.

Let me count the ways...

1. He'll tell me not to tag him in places online.

"That's a sure way of getting all our possessions stolen," he tells me seriously. "Announce to everyone that we're out of the house."

2. He'll always be scanning the crowd.

He's searching for the bad guy. Always. The drunk person. The high person. A person who wants to cause trouble. He hates when people walk behind him. He needs to know what people are up to AT ALL TIMES. Otherwise he's uncomfortable.

3. He'll walk past cars in the parking lot and be all, "That plate is expired, that plate is expired, and oh, look, this plate is expired too."

It's gotten to the point where I find myself doing it too. (Seriously though. Get new tags. It's not difficult.)

4. He always has a stern expression on his face.

He does have a bitch resting face. Sometimes he's perfectly happy and people will be all, "Why are you upset?" He's like, "I'm actually in a great mood!"

5. He'll sometimes respond to things with, "Roger that.."

ME: "I love you." Him: "Roger that." Da fuq?

6. He likes donuts.

I mean. Duh. Who doesn't like donuts?


  1. I can SOOO relate to all of these! Does he also have to sit so that his back is never to a door or the majority of the room? My husband is left-handed, so I also make sure to walk on his right side (so that said gun/hand is available). His quirks crack me up sometimes, but I know he'll always keep me safe. :)

    1. I was totally going to ask about the sitting so his back is never to a door, because my dad does that too and he's a 23 year veteran police officer :)

  2. Hahaha I love this! It's amazing how our husbands do certain things that you just know proves they are their profession lol.

  3. Indeed who does not like donuts?! Dang we were 2 months late on registering our car, I ought to not do that again I think....

  4. Haha! Love Roger that, though I am sure it gets old. Perpetuating the donut rumor, huh?! Haha!

  5. Is there a name for resting bitch face for guys? One of my boys has that.

    Had to deal with my own expired tags today. That was a barrel of fun. I thought they were fine and I'd just lost the sticker, but unfortunately not.

  6. That's hilarious! Cute post.


  7. Haha, too funny, and interesting, I didn't know plates had an expiry date, I don't live in the States.

  8. Haha!! The Annie face gif was precious!!!

  9. haha! That last one was perfect. I love all the gifs. It's funny about the expired plates and also how he watches the crowd with his resting bitch face.

  10. My sister was a deputy for years and I always laughed at her love of donuts. Also once we went to a club because a band we liked was playing and a drug deal happened in front of her and she was like dude I am a cop wtf are you doing. It was funny

  11. Ha! Awesome!

    Expired tags? Really? Is it that common? How hard can it be to get new tags?

    Loved the last one.

    Thanks for sharing.

  12. Omg. Military Husband says Roger that, too! haha

  13. Hahahah - donuts. I think my husband is a wannabe cop deep down. He's always looking for bad guys!

  14. lol! Totally reminds me of my husband :) so funny

  15. This totally sounds like my husband too. He's not in law enforcement, but he talks about trying it out.

  16. Bahahahaha that last one. This is a great list.


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