I Don't Understand My Tween Daughter's Birthday List

My daughter has a birthday coming up and she handed me a birthday list. Here's what was on it:


1. Squishies


2. JoJos Bows


3. Anything kawaii


4. LOL Dolls



I peered at the list in confusion. I felt like I was trying to read swahili, but failing. Nothing made sense.

But wait! I knew what a LOL Doll was at least. Natalie had bought one over Christmas break, much to my confusion. She had freaked out at the display and shrieked, "It's a LOL Doll!" and I was basically like:

Source

If you're curious, a LOL doll is this ball with different layers to it. In the center is the doll.

Here's a video we did of Natalie opening one:





I stared at Natalie's list again. I missed the lists she had when she was younger because it said things like this:


1. Barbies

2. Anything Disney Princess

3. Dolls

4. Doll clothes


I knew immediately what everything was. Now? Now I was baffled.

"Natalie," I asked. "When you say 'anything kawaii' what exactly makes things kawaii?"

She looked at me like this:

"You know. My KAWAII stuff!" she impatiently explained.

Um. Great help, kid. I knew she had toys she described as kawaii. I knew kawaii meant cute in Japanese. But did that mean anything cute was kawaii?

"So is ANYTHING cute, kawaii? Like any stuffed animal?" I inquired.

Natalie scowled. "Kawaii is KAWAII!"

"Okay," I said slowly although I was still lost. "What exactly are squishies?"

"Tiny things you can squish," Natalie replied.

"I..."

"It's all about the squishies."

"It is?"

I did a Google search and for the record, these are squishies:

Finally I went, "And JoJo's Bows? Who is this JoJo? Like JoJo's circus? Is that back? Your brother used to watch it when he was tiny."

Natalie gave me a look like this:

"JOJO SIWA!" she shouted as if I was supposed to know who that was.

"JoJo. Siwa," Natalie repeated, because saying it a second time was supposed to make my brain compute. It didn't.

"From Dance Moms!" Natalie snapped.

Oh. Right. I do watch that show. "She was the one who quit?"

Natalie was offended. "She didn't QUIT. She had enough of Abby!" I half expected her to snap her fingers in my face.

"She has bows now?" I wrinkled my nose.

"Yes. Remember? She always wore bows!"

I vaguely remembered the bows.

"They're at Claire's," Natalie said as if speaking with a complete imbecile. "In a variety of colors."

"But if I can't find JoJo's bows would you just take a normal bow and CALL it a JoJo's Bow? Could you really tell the difference?"

Natalie's jaw dropped open. "Of course I could!"

Great. Lovely.

I'm still not exactly sure what is on my daughter's birthday list. I'll try my best to find what she's asking for.

But I really REALLY miss the good old days where I understood exactly what she wanted.

Wish me luck.