I'm Her Dad

Most of the time I'm with the kids. This is because Tom works a lot. He's in the military so his schedule can be crazy. He has never worked a 9-5 job. But sometimes he's with them on his own. My teenager, Tommy, basically stays in his room so Tom doesn't do much with him.

But Natalie?

Well.

"Okay, so you need to check on Natalie at least once every half hour. Sometimes the other kids can be mean. If she's crying, remind her that she doesn't need friends like that. Tell her to take deep breaths and that it's not the end of the world."

These were my instructions to Tom, who looked irritated. He gave me a time-out sign.

"Why are you telling me how to take care of my daughter? I'm her Dad."

I blinked.

"You've always done this when I'm capable of parenting," he continued.

This is true. When she was younger and I was gone, I had much more instructions.

"If she's doing a silly dance, it probably means she needs to pee. Ask her if she needs to go. She's nearly potty trained but she's being extra stubborn. If it's quiet for too long, check on her. She's sneaky. Keep the front door locked. She thinks it's funny to escape."

He'd get irritated then, too. But, well, I stay home with her. I know what she's like. He sees her for snippets at a time.

Plus, now that Natalie is older, she has Mood Swings. She had one for the first time in front of Tom. She burst in the house sobbing because her friends "left her behind." She was gasping for air as snot bubbled from her nose. Tom was on the couch and he took at his precious angel like she was possessed. Sometimes I wonder if she is.

"They left me! They just left! What sort of friends DO that?" she wailed.

"What's wrong with her?" Tom asked me from the side of his mouth. Oh sure he's seen her cry before, but not like this. Not hysterical.

"Welcome to the world of a tween," I replied. "This is what I get to deal with when you're at work."

Tom looked like he was pleased that he got to escape to work.

This is why I gave Tom the instructions I did before I left. Suppose she flipped out when I was gone? Would he know what to do? Because the last time he saw her Transform, he was like, "Knock it off. Find other friends. Geez." Followed by, "Boys don't act like that. We move on quickly. Men. We know how to be friends."

Needless to say, it did not help Natalie.

"You don't understand!" she had shrieked. "No one does!"

And then she thundered up the stairs to her room. I imagine she flung herself dramatically on the bed.

"What was that?" Tom asked, bewildered.

"I told you: a tween girl."

I know Tom was picturing Natalie as a tiny kid, where she happily ran to her Daddy--she's always been a Daddy's Girl. Daddy could make it all better.

But now?

Now we're embarking on different times. A joke wasn't going to cut it anymore. A tickle under the armpit wouldn't cause shrieking giggles but instead an indignant, "Don't TOUCH me!"

So yes. I'll remind him how to calm her down before I go.

"If all else fails," I told him the last time I went, "offer her chocolate."

Because as we know, chocolate helps make things better.