5 Ways To Help Kids With Autism To Be Social

I went to my son's IEP meeting this week. For those who don't know, it's an individualized education plan. It basically makes it so he's able to cope with school life without having a meltdown. Before the IEP, there were many meltdowns.

So, there are goals placed during IEP meetings and obviously the hope is that the student reaches the goal. There was a new goal added for Tommy and that was that he needs to carry on a conversation at least twice a week. It's been observed that he will answer people if they talk to him, but he rarely initiates the conversation. This is a skill he needs to learn when he has a job. He has to be able to talk to his boss, plus customers.

He's always struggled socially, so we have practiced throughout the years, but now I pose various questions at him to make sure he responds appropriately. (For example, he hates sports, so if someone goes, "Did you watch the game last night?" he knows he should NOT say, "No, football sucks.")

I have other tips that have helped throughout the years!




1. As I mentioned before, practicing conversations at home works! When Tommy was small, I'd tell him it was important to ask people how they were doing, but he says in high school most people walk around with ear buds, so it's hard to start a conversation. "Plus sometimes I'm not in the mood to talk. But it's my goal now, so I'll try." I told him one way to start a conversation is to compliment people on their clothes and he's all, "But what if I hate their clothes?" He is getting better though.

2. Remind them not to come off as creepy.   I told Tommy NOT to smile like Sam on Atypical. (For those who don't know, the show is about a high schooler with autism. Sam also works on being social.)

Source

3. Talk about etiquette. If a convo is started and the child with autism is no longer interested, remind them that it's not okay to abruptly say that they are done. My son is older now, but when he was younger, he would do this. Or he'd simply walk away in the middle of another kid talking. There were times when he'd be outside playing and then he'd come in and go, "Those kids were bugging me. I'm over it." Then the kids would come to the door and be like, "Why did Tommy leave?" I'd just say he was tired.

4. Set up play dates as practice. My son had a few playdates when he was small. Sometimes they went well. Sometimes they did not. There would be times when he'd have a meltdown. Or he'd get bored and abruptly stop the playdate and go into another room. Other parents would usually find this weird, so playdates weren't repeated. He's in high school now, so playdates are out. However, he does play video games online, so he converses with people that way. Yes, I make sure he's safe online. He doesn't really have real friends over, but sometimes they will play a game online with him. So it's something.

5. Remind them of topics that are taboo. For example, sometimes Tommy wants to launch into politics, but I have to tell him it's not a good idea. Also, he doesn't like when girls wear too much make up, and he's bluntly told his sister that she looks ridiculous before. ("All that powder stuff on your face is distracting.") When we were at Disney World, he kept wanting to ask Donald Duck if he remembered being in a World War 2 propaganda video. I asked him to please not do that.

My son is sure he can meet his goal. I know it can be difficult to talk to others. I mean, I'm an introvert, so there are times where I don't want to speak to someone else. But if I needed to, I could. Tommy needs to be sure he has that skill.

Do you have a child who struggles with social issues? While my son struggles, my daughter, on the other hand, speaks to everyone.