Wednesday, February 13, 2019

What Valentine's Day Is Like For Married Couples

Valentine's Day. While some people are all about the chocolate and flowers, my husband and I basically consider it to be just another day. Now, when we were dating, it was different: he'd give me flowers, I'd give him chocolate. But when you've been married for nearly 20 years, well, it begins to feel silly showing all this love on a specific day.

I've discovered talking to other longtime married couples that they feel the same.


This is basically what Valentine's Day is like for them. And us.






1. Sometimes couples completely forget it even is Valentine's Day. This happened to us one year. I was all, "Wait, is today Valentine's Day?" and my husband replied, "I think it is. Yeah. So. Happy Valentine's Day."



2. No one wants to cook. I see all these posts on elaborate meals, and my husband and I chuckle because it's not us. At all. I asked him, "Are you cooking on Valentine's Day?" and he went, "I wasn't planning on it. You?" I was like, "No." So we'll probably order pizza.



3. A new tube of toothpaste might be considered a Valentine's Day gift. "Oh here, didn't you say you needed more Crest?" I once went to Tom, and he replied, "Yes, thank you."



4. Staying home is a popular choice. No one wants to battle crowds. Most of the food is rushed because the restaurants are full, so it's not always the greatest. Why spend a bunch of money on that? Couples begin to get practical as they get older, I've found.



5. Oh, and comfort wins. There's no fancy Valentine's Day outfits. I'll probably be in a hoodie. My husband will probably be in his Perry the Platypus sweats. Lingerie is another unnecessary expense. I might actually wear my underwear without the holes, and that's the extent of Valentine's Day.






So this is what my husband and I usually do: we exchange cards if we remember. I tell him NO flowers or chocolate. Why? Because I can go out the next day and get that same chocolate 50% off.


If he's able to get off work, we'll go out for lunch. It's not as crowded if you go out for lunch on Valentine's Day. Sometimes restaurants give you free chocolate. This is mostly why we go.


We don't put any stress on the day, because we can show love whenever we want, not when Hallmark dictates it.






So what about you? What are you Valentine's Day plans?





35 comments:

  1. We don't celebrate Valentine's Day as a couple. However, this year it happens to coincide with the date night that our daughter's school is hosting so we get an evening alone.

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  2. In my house - Valentine's Day doesn't look like anything because, well, we don't celebrate. It's just another day. I bought a heart-shaped Reese's Peanut Butter Cup for my husband and I will give it to him, ha! That's the extent of it.

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  3. I am of the idea that married couples should not give up celebrating Valentine's Day, but maybe this happens in a different way and more "natural" because let's face it when you are engaged at first everything is a bit 'forced to make a scene .. .

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  4. What a great post! We don't celebrate Valentines anymore. After almost 10 years of relationship, we find that everyday small gestures make more that a Valentines gift!

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  5. Sooo...Valentine's Day also happens to be my birthday. Do you know that there are about five Birthday/Valentine's Day mash-up cards in existence? :)

    I NEVER go out on the night of my birthday. It's just a mess. I prefer to either go out for lunch of celebrate with a dinner another night. I hate competing for a dinner seat with the masses.

    Valentine's Day is nice in theory but just kind of weird.

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  6. My birthday falls on a day the week prior to Valentine's Day so if hubby gets me flowers for both my birthday AND Valentine's Day my house looks like a funeral so I prefer to keep Valentine's Day low key but do it up on my birthday.

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  7. We usually go out to Dinner either the weekend before or after so its less crowded although now I might want to change that so I can find a restaurant that will give me Candy. We do a Movie Night with my son and have our favorite snacks so no, one feels left out because even the pets get treats. As for Candy we all go out the day after Valentines and pick up our favorite candy. If I remember I get them cards. But they don't give me one but its okay because I know they love me.

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  8. We are dropping the boys off a church party and then going out to eat. Not sure where but somewhere not fancy.

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  9. We don't have any big plans today. We will mostly likely be having pizza for dinner and watching some of our favorite shows.

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  10. Just another day around the place as far as we are concerned. A happy valentines day and a hug or kiss is usually all we do.

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  11. This is so true! I do love doing fun things for the kids on Valentine's Day, though. It does seem ridiculous to buy chocolate that will be 50% off tomorrow. I feel the same way about Christmas. Sometimes I wish we could celebrate it the next day instead!

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  12. I am newly married and i am not spending V Day with my husband but this post made me laugh! So that's what I need to expect ahah

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  13. I've been with my partner 8 years and to be honest we don't do anything on Valentine's anymore. Most we've done today is watch a movie LOL

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  14. This post made me laugh out loud. My husband and I think Valentine's Day is sort of lame, so we'll just be at home, cuddling on the couch and watching our favorite hockey team play.

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  15. I love this post coz its so real LOL! Sometimes we are too lazy to cook and go out so we just stay home and say happy valentines day and just go on with our day. my husband is at the office and im a work from home mom so most days were busy anyways everyday is valentines for us

    XO,
    Nanay Kikay
    https://nanaykikay.com

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  16. I cook each night and my husband takes the weekends. It is Valentine's today and I really do not want to get up and cook dinner-lol

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  17. This is a great post! I'm not married but I always hated Valentines Day when I was younger because it seemed like you were nothing if you didn't get flowers. I think you two are doing the right thing!

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  18. We've never really had a "real valentine's day" since we were married, because by the following year we already had our first daughter.

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  19. Why is that not what Valentine's Day is like for everyone? I'm not a massive fan of the holiday because I think we should show love all year round. It's nice to have a day that reminds us, but there really shouldn't be any remembering.

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  20. YES to comfort!! I'm not married but I think Valentine's Day is overrated and I would rather just spend a comfy night at home.

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  21. Yeah, I really agree on this blog. I actually forget about Valentine's Day but we are celebrating this in our home. Watching some movies, and cook some foods.

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  22. This is so real and funny, I know many people can relate. There is a massive difference celebrating Valentine's from the married ones compared to those who has a young relationship. I love the toothpaste story.

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  23. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t put any effort anymore for Valentines day if you are already married. We don’t have to spend a lot of money to enjoy this day.

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  24. LOL, we always make casual plans, usually eating out, no one makes the reservation so my husband cooks. Year after year!

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  25. This pretty much sums it up. I've been married 15 years and I'm pretty sure we didn't even say Happy Valentine's Day to each other yesterday.

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  26. This is true indeed. Valentine's Day changes for married couples somewhat. However, I try to make a little extra effort to make it special and romantic... even if doing so is a pain lol!

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  27. Nathan and I aren't married but we're pretty much the same as you guys. I guess fifteen years and two kids will do that to you ;)

    Louise x

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  28. Haha! This is too funny because this is exactly how our Valentine's Day was we thought it was so perfect. We spent the day shopping to finish decorating our nursery, had fun looking at RV's (that we have no intention of buying), and my hubby bought me a new electric toothbrush ;)

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  29. Hubby and I always exchange cards and gifts and plan something special during the day and we've been married for 17 years!

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  30. I don't like to do deal with the crowds either. My husband took the day off and we went to the movies and had a nice lunch. We have been married for over 23 years and I didn't want flowers or candy. Spending time with him was perfect and made me very happy.

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  31. Sweetie and BB made chicken/veggie lasagna rolls together to have for dinner and then we went to our fave Mexican restaurant for St.Valentine Lunch. We exchanged inexpensive but meaningful little somethings to show appreciation and thought for each other. A nice day to show extra effort.

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  32. Yes!! Comfort does truly win! This post has so much truth in it.

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  33. I get the 50 percent off things reason. i feel like that for all holidays pretty much. But I do have to say I love the fact your husband has Perry the Platapus pants. Are you watching Milo Murphy?

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  34. Oh we also stayed at home and had dinner with the kids. But they set up the table complete with flowers and heart name cards. So that's our Valentine's "family date."

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  35. This is really a great post. I don't celebrate valentines day and it will be like watching movies or something like that. Thanks for sharing.

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Thanks for the comment!

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