Wednesday, February 13, 2019

What Valentine's Day Is Like For Married Couples

Valentine's Day. While some people are all about the chocolate and flowers, my husband and I basically consider it to be just another day. Now, when we were dating, it was different: he'd give me flowers, I'd give him chocolate. But when you've been married for nearly 20 years, well, it begins to feel silly showing all this love on a specific day.

I've discovered talking to other longtime married couples that they feel the same.


This is basically what Valentine's Day is like for them. And us.






1. Sometimes couples completely forget it even is Valentine's Day. This happened to us one year. I was all, "Wait, is today Valentine's Day?" and my husband replied, "I think it is. Yeah. So. Happy Valentine's Day."



2. No one wants to cook. I see all these posts on elaborate meals, and my husband and I chuckle because it's not us. At all. I asked him, "Are you cooking on Valentine's Day?" and he went, "I wasn't planning on it. You?" I was like, "No." So we'll probably order pizza.



3. A new tube of toothpaste might be considered a Valentine's Day gift. "Oh here, didn't you say you needed more Crest?" I once went to Tom, and he replied, "Yes, thank you."



4. Staying home is a popular choice. No one wants to battle crowds. Most of the food is rushed because the restaurants are full, so it's not always the greatest. Why spend a bunch of money on that? Couples begin to get practical as they get older, I've found.



5. Oh, and comfort wins. There's no fancy Valentine's Day outfits. I'll probably be in a hoodie. My husband will probably be in his Perry the Platypus sweats. Lingerie is another unnecessary expense. I might actually wear my underwear without the holes, and that's the extent of Valentine's Day.






So this is what my husband and I usually do: we exchange cards if we remember. I tell him NO flowers or chocolate. Why? Because I can go out the next day and get that same chocolate 50% off.


If he's able to get off work, we'll go out for lunch. It's not as crowded if you go out for lunch on Valentine's Day. Sometimes restaurants give you free chocolate. This is mostly why we go.


We don't put any stress on the day, because we can show love whenever we want, not when Hallmark dictates it.






So what about you? What are you Valentine's Day plans?





78 comments:

  1. We don't celebrate Valentine's Day as a couple. However, this year it happens to coincide with the date night that our daughter's school is hosting so we get an evening alone.

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  2. In my house - Valentine's Day doesn't look like anything because, well, we don't celebrate. It's just another day. I bought a heart-shaped Reese's Peanut Butter Cup for my husband and I will give it to him, ha! That's the extent of it.

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  3. I am of the idea that married couples should not give up celebrating Valentine's Day, but maybe this happens in a different way and more "natural" because let's face it when you are engaged at first everything is a bit 'forced to make a scene .. .

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  4. What a great post! We don't celebrate Valentines anymore. After almost 10 years of relationship, we find that everyday small gestures make more that a Valentines gift!

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  5. Sooo...Valentine's Day also happens to be my birthday. Do you know that there are about five Birthday/Valentine's Day mash-up cards in existence? :)

    I NEVER go out on the night of my birthday. It's just a mess. I prefer to either go out for lunch of celebrate with a dinner another night. I hate competing for a dinner seat with the masses.

    Valentine's Day is nice in theory but just kind of weird.

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  6. My birthday falls on a day the week prior to Valentine's Day so if hubby gets me flowers for both my birthday AND Valentine's Day my house looks like a funeral so I prefer to keep Valentine's Day low key but do it up on my birthday.

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  7. We usually go out to Dinner either the weekend before or after so its less crowded although now I might want to change that so I can find a restaurant that will give me Candy. We do a Movie Night with my son and have our favorite snacks so no, one feels left out because even the pets get treats. As for Candy we all go out the day after Valentines and pick up our favorite candy. If I remember I get them cards. But they don't give me one but its okay because I know they love me.

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  8. We are dropping the boys off a church party and then going out to eat. Not sure where but somewhere not fancy.

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  9. We don't have any big plans today. We will mostly likely be having pizza for dinner and watching some of our favorite shows.

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  10. Just another day around the place as far as we are concerned. A happy valentines day and a hug or kiss is usually all we do.

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  11. This is so true! I do love doing fun things for the kids on Valentine's Day, though. It does seem ridiculous to buy chocolate that will be 50% off tomorrow. I feel the same way about Christmas. Sometimes I wish we could celebrate it the next day instead!

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  12. I am newly married and i am not spending V Day with my husband but this post made me laugh! So that's what I need to expect ahah

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  13. I've been with my partner 8 years and to be honest we don't do anything on Valentine's anymore. Most we've done today is watch a movie LOL

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  14. This post made me laugh out loud. My husband and I think Valentine's Day is sort of lame, so we'll just be at home, cuddling on the couch and watching our favorite hockey team play.

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  15. I love this post coz its so real LOL! Sometimes we are too lazy to cook and go out so we just stay home and say happy valentines day and just go on with our day. my husband is at the office and im a work from home mom so most days were busy anyways everyday is valentines for us

    XO,
    Nanay Kikay
    https://nanaykikay.com

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  16. I cook each night and my husband takes the weekends. It is Valentine's today and I really do not want to get up and cook dinner-lol

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  17. This is a great post! I'm not married but I always hated Valentines Day when I was younger because it seemed like you were nothing if you didn't get flowers. I think you two are doing the right thing!

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  18. We've never really had a "real valentine's day" since we were married, because by the following year we already had our first daughter.

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  19. Why is that not what Valentine's Day is like for everyone? I'm not a massive fan of the holiday because I think we should show love all year round. It's nice to have a day that reminds us, but there really shouldn't be any remembering.

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  20. YES to comfort!! I'm not married but I think Valentine's Day is overrated and I would rather just spend a comfy night at home.

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  21. Yeah, I really agree on this blog. I actually forget about Valentine's Day but we are celebrating this in our home. Watching some movies, and cook some foods.

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  22. This is so real and funny, I know many people can relate. There is a massive difference celebrating Valentine's from the married ones compared to those who has a young relationship. I love the toothpaste story.

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  23. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t put any effort anymore for Valentines day if you are already married. We don’t have to spend a lot of money to enjoy this day.

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  24. LOL, we always make casual plans, usually eating out, no one makes the reservation so my husband cooks. Year after year!

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  25. This pretty much sums it up. I've been married 15 years and I'm pretty sure we didn't even say Happy Valentine's Day to each other yesterday.

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  26. This is true indeed. Valentine's Day changes for married couples somewhat. However, I try to make a little extra effort to make it special and romantic... even if doing so is a pain lol!

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  27. Nathan and I aren't married but we're pretty much the same as you guys. I guess fifteen years and two kids will do that to you ;)

    Louise x

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  28. Haha! This is too funny because this is exactly how our Valentine's Day was we thought it was so perfect. We spent the day shopping to finish decorating our nursery, had fun looking at RV's (that we have no intention of buying), and my hubby bought me a new electric toothbrush ;)

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  29. Hubby and I always exchange cards and gifts and plan something special during the day and we've been married for 17 years!

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  30. I don't like to do deal with the crowds either. My husband took the day off and we went to the movies and had a nice lunch. We have been married for over 23 years and I didn't want flowers or candy. Spending time with him was perfect and made me very happy.

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  31. Sweetie and BB made chicken/veggie lasagna rolls together to have for dinner and then we went to our fave Mexican restaurant for St.Valentine Lunch. We exchanged inexpensive but meaningful little somethings to show appreciation and thought for each other. A nice day to show extra effort.

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  32. Yes!! Comfort does truly win! This post has so much truth in it.

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  33. I get the 50 percent off things reason. i feel like that for all holidays pretty much. But I do have to say I love the fact your husband has Perry the Platapus pants. Are you watching Milo Murphy?

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  34. Oh we also stayed at home and had dinner with the kids. But they set up the table complete with flowers and heart name cards. So that's our Valentine's "family date."

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  35. This is really a great post. I don't celebrate valentines day and it will be like watching movies or something like that. Thanks for sharing.

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  36. I believe that totally unexpected and at times disastrous Valentine's Day are the best. When you work hard to make a good impression and organize something just because you MUST disappear all the magic!

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  37. Dinner at home or dinner out is what we do. It depends on our mood. Just spending that time together is enough for me.

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  38. I love this post. So cute and funny. I am getting married this year so I'm looking forward to a valentine's day as husband and wife next year.

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  39. I actually avoid going out on Valentine's Day as if it were the plague. I hate it.

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  40. For us it is heading out for dessert and coffee. Now that the kids are older we have more time for each other.

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  41. I havfe different opinions on V's Day sometimes I feel like he should care and other times I know it is a made up holiday for Hallmark. It is still nice to feel affection for each other on the day.

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  42. I know that Valentine's Day is supposed to be romantic, but since I have been celebrating it since I was in grade school, I still think of it as a fun day to celebrate friendship and family. My husband and I went out once on Valentine's Day for dinner, but it was so crowded that we never tried it again. Gifts and cards are always optional, but never a big deal. We do get a box of chocolate for the family.

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  43. Valentine's Day is so much more enjoyable when you are married. You know you can count on your partner to sweep you off your feet.

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  44. hahahahhhahah "A new tube of toothpaste might be considered a Valentine's Day gift." I died!!! Thanks a lot for the laugh but so true though.

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  45. you have some fun things on your list, toothpaste. i find Valentine's Day full of pressure for no reason.

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  46. We try to schedule something as a couple either that weekend or the weekend after, find a sitter and go to the movies or dancing

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  47. I love what you said about not letting Hallmark dictate how you celebrate. I feel that way about so many of the occasions we're supposed to shop for.

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  48. I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's day either. Being single this year is a bit awkward after being married 11 years. I'm not sure what I will do yet but I'm sure I will make dinner for the kids.

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  49. This Valentine's Day I'm starting the process of getting a dental implant. VERY romantic. Sigh. Valentine's Day as a grown up is not so much fun.

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  50. When my husband and I were dating and first married Valentines Day was celebrated. Now, it's all about the kids. I love making their lunches Valentiney and then having a heart shaped pizza for dinner. If my husband gets me flowers that's cool. If not, no big deal.

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  51. We actually don't do Valentine's Day. To me it's just a day to increase sales for retailers. If I want to celebrate my wife I can do that any day.

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  52. this is so cute. it doesnt really matter what you actually do as long you are enjoying each other's company. <3

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  53. We usually do a family Valentine's dinner with the kids and plan another night to go out just the two of us.

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  54. Oh you are so right about these. As we grew older we get so practical with lots of stuffs,like celebrating Valentines.

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  55. It's huge for most people in here. The traffic is horrific and stores are all full. But for us, it's just an ordinary day.

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  56. We never cook on Valentine's Day. We always go out for a dinner. We don't have plans for this V-day yet, though. We might stay home and just order takeout.

    -LYNNDEE

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  57. This year will be our 29th year and we don't buy each other things. We usually do something for the other. He'll do some chore that I hate to and I usually cook him his favorite dinner.

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  58. The more this occasions happen while being married, the less interesting it will be because the love shared everyday. However, I'm not yet married lol.

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  59. We haven't gone out in years on Valentine's Day due to lack of trusted baby sitters that are willing. But we still make time for each other. We do date night at home idea. I shared all about it on my blog last year. It saves money and still makes it to where you feel like you made time for each other.

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  60. When I was married my husband always brought home flowers on Valentine's Day. We always got cards for each other.

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  61. The more simple, the better right? I love taking naps with my husband. He often has to work, so we celebrate the week before with a movie while the kids sleep.

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  62. Typically we just order a heart shaped pizza and watch a movie but this year we will be on a beach for vacation. YAY!

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  63. Our wedding anniversary is the same week as Valentine's Day. I feel bad for the holiday...it gets no love from us!

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  64. After 10 years with my partner I felt this post. We rarely do anything anymore for Valentines but this year I would like to go away to a spa, even if it's before/after Valentines day.

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  65. This is a great post .. & so true!!! We never go out for Valentines Day and we just make it another fun family night!

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  66. I love it!! My husband and I were just talking about this. We've been married 23 years and it's like "are we only supposed to love each other today?" NOT!!! I think this holiday was brought on by the gift shops years ago!! ha/ha I would take any excuse not to cook, but up here in the mountains, the restaurants are usually packed tonight, so I'll just make him take me out this weekend. Who cares what day it is!! ha/ha

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  67. "Because I can go out the next day and get that same chocolate 50% off"..ha..ha.. This is funny... For us, a couple married for 30 years, Valentine's Day is just an ordinary day.

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  68. I’m single so today is just another day. I did order wingstop for my son and got us shamrock shakes. But when I was married, it was no big deal either on Valentine’s Day.

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  69. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  70. My husband and I are in a similar boat after being married for over a decade - it's more about the simple gestures than extravagant displays of affection.

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  71. It was just an ordinary day for me. It was special for me my boys got me Carmel popcorn and chocolate pretzels. and all there love.

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  72. For us, it's the everyday acts of love and kindness that mean the most, not just the grand gestures on February 14th. And we usually stay at home for Valentine's Day and we love to do something special foe our anniversary!

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  73. I think it's a good thing when Valentine's Day feels like any other day but only if it's because we're celebrating our love for each other on the regular so the pressure for doing something special on a specific date is removed. That said, there's also nothing wrong with doing a little something to make the day special if it matters to you or your partner!

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  74. We've been married since forever. Honestly, this is the first year I didn't have the energy to cook cook. I don't like like to eat out as it can get so busy.

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  75. definitely stay home for this day and other such busy days of the year.. and we randomly do things (or not) for Valentine's (considering we did not grow up celebrating any of these in india).. Like this year, my DH surprised me with some tulips (we needed some for the home also anyways) and cheesecake (one of my favorite desserts)

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  76. Perry the Platypus sweats are hot though! Those are a cool find, lol

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  77. I agree with you! That is basically Valentine's is for us. Staying at the comforts of home beats the crowded restaurants

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  78. Such a funny post and so very true too. I have to say my husband is the romantic one and always wants to celebrate any holiday.

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Thanks for the comment!

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