Someone sent me a message after I posted about Tommy going to France on his own and I wanted to laugh.
Let him?
He's 24.
And then I wondered if it was because he has autism. But here's the thing: I have been telling him ever since he was a little boy with his diagnosis that he can do anything he sets his mind on. Anything.
Life wasn't always easy. I'd get constant phone calls from his school because he was having meltdowns. But still, I always knew he'd be okay. He might do things in a different way, at a different time, but he'd get there.
He has impressed me as he grew. The way his mind works. It's fascinating.
He has an Associate's Degree in Video Cinematography.
He has a Bachelor's in Film & Media.
So yeah. I knew he'd be fine in France.
And he was.
He kept me updated so I had proof of life.
He ended up having a wonderful time. He spoke some French over there. He went to all the popular landmarks.
He ate tons of French pastries.
He rode the metro.
He brought me home some macaroons.
And of course I worried. I'm a parent.
But I remembered what I told him throughout his life: you can do anything.
And he's proven that.
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I am so impressed that Tommy is living his best life. You have raised an adventurous young man. As the grandparent of an autistic 9 year old boy, I hope he also knows he can do anything in this world.
ReplyDeleteI love this so much! Tommy is 24, and it sounds like he had an amazing time making Paris his own adventure. The “proof of life” updates made me laugh because no matter how grown our kids are, we still want to know they’re okay. You’ve always believed in him, and I know you must be so proud seeing him go after the things he wants.
ReplyDeleteI love this. Good for him AND for you! It's hard to let the kids be anything and do anything if you stifle them with worry. I love both of your attitudes.
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ReplyDeleteI'm impressed that you put your words into action. It's hard to give the kids the space they need to grow into the adults they're becoming, and it would be so easy to use autism as an excuse to hold on too tightly.
I think the fact that he went on his own is AMAZING! Travel changes a person so much, and the independence it gives you as you have to navigate things yourself is truly sometimes you can't replicate by just staying at home,
ReplyDeleteWhen kids are adults, they need to learn how to do things. My boys have started traveling by themselves when they turn 18. You taught him well.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you had a lot of fun! Tons of French pastries, I would definitely be guilty of that. And riding the Metro is such a cool experience when you’re not from there. You get to experience things you normally wouldn’t. But France, ooh la la! I’d love to see the Eiffel Tower!
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like he really enjoyed himself. I'm sure he had a blast. I sure would have. I've never been to France, but would certainly love to some day. Lots to see I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteThis is so touching, letting him travel on his own and letting him do anything he wants to do in life. And also not letting autism as an excuse to not let him do things freely. It must be so fun to him, travelling in different part of the world.
ReplyDeleteThat is great that he had a dream to go and was able to enjoy his solo trip. You did a great job giving him the skills he needed! My son is 19 and went to London on his own and people were shocked and worried. It's a strange era! So while I don't understand, I also am not surprised at all. I think too since everyone with autism is different, people relate to that different, since many of us know an autistic person who might not be able to handle a solo trip. Or - lots of my friends couldn't even handle a trip on their own, lol. Anyway - go Tommy!
ReplyDeleteI am so loving all of the amazing pictures and I can tell that he had an incredible time. I think it is so cool that he did a solo trip to France and what an experience as well for him.... and surely one he will never forget. I just love it!
ReplyDeleteLetting them go is hard, but it's great that he found his way. He did it, and did great
ReplyDelete“You let him go to France on his own?” It is the kind of question that immediately suggests a mixture of surprise, concern and curiosity. Whether the traveller is a teenager taking his first independent trip or an adult simply setting off without family or friends, travelling alone can feel like a major step.
ReplyDeleteGoing abroad independently means taking responsibility for the details that someone else might normally handle. From organising transport and accommodation to keeping track of documents, navigating unfamiliar places and deciding what to do when plans change, every part of the journey becomes an opportunity to become more confident and self-reliant.
France can provide plenty of memorable experiences for a solo traveller. A trip might involve wandering through historic neighbourhoods, visiting museums, discovering regional food or simply enjoying the freedom to change plans whenever something unexpected catches the eye. Travelling alone can make even ordinary moments feel more personal because there is no need to follow someone else's schedule.
Of course, independence does not mean being completely disconnected. Sharing an itinerary, keeping important contact information accessible and checking in occasionally can offer reassurance while still leaving the traveller plenty of freedom. Good preparation allows family members to worry a little less while the person travelling gets to experience the adventure on their own terms.
Solo travel can also encourage people to look beyond familiar routines and discover new perspectives. Stories about independent journeys, destinations and everyday adventures can be found on platforms such as chicken road, where travel is just one of many subjects to explore.
In the end, the surprised question may actually have a positive answer: sometimes letting someone go on their own is exactly how they discover what they are capable of. France becomes more than a destination—it becomes a chance to make decisions, solve problems and return home with experiences that belong entirely to them.
I'm happy for Tommy that he chose to go abroad and have a great time, which he did. He's 24 and showed all of us that he is quite capable of traveling abroad alone and having a blast. Kudos to you, Tommy!
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