The H&R Block Surprise

So remember when I posted that entry about our not-so-great H&R Block experience?

Well.

Last night the phone rang. Tom answered. Then he brought the phone over to me.

I figured it was a telemarketer. For some reason Tom thinks that he can just pass the phone onto me whenever one calls us. He claims it’s because he doesn’t know how to talk to them even though I’ve explained that all you have to do is say, “Not interested. Thank you.”

I motioned with my hands that I didn’t want the phone. I was in the middle of watching The Deep End and was trying to follow the plot.

“It’s H&R Block,” Tom said, dropping the phone in my lap.

I figured that it was someone wanting to do a survey about our experience. And I was all prepared to tell them truthfully about our experience because you should be honest in order for a company to get better, right?

I answered the phone and the man on the end introduced himself and then said, “Your blog has been noted.”

Huh? What?

It took me a few seconds to understand. I paused the show.

“Hey,” Tom complained from the couch. I find it amusing that he always makes fun of the shows I watch, yet he seems to always get into them. He won’t admit it though.

“I want to apologize for your experience,” the man continued.

I kept thinking, “Holy crap, people other than my family read my blog.” I mean, duh, obviously people other than family read it because of the comments I get. But still. You never quite think that people give a crud on what you have to write.

The man was incredibly nice. He kept apologizing and saying that our experience should not have gone like that. That people should have acted more professional and that we shouldn’t have been turned away from the first office we went to, that the woman who told us that we were at the wrong H&R Block should have said that she could fit us in there.

Do you know what else he said? That he’d send us a check for the amount we paid H&R Block (you might remember me typing TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS a lot in the H&R Block entry.) He also said he’d send us a coupon to get our taxes done for free next year with H&R Block.

“We’d love if you gave us another chance,” the guy said.

So I agreed. I have to say, that I am now impressed with H&R Block. They went above and beyond to make things right. And no, they didn’t even ask me to write this. I decided I would because I appreciate the fact that someone called me, wanting to make things better.

After I hung up I told Tom what all happened.

He was surprised, but his opinion on H&R Block also changed.

“Just…watch what you write about,” Tom warned. “If you rant about my job, I could get in trouble.”

I smiled. “I don’t really rant about the Air Force. I mainly rant about you.”

Tom stuck his tongue out. “Gee, thanks. And you have ranted about the Air Force before. Remember when you threw a fit when you thought we’d be moving to Montana?

I thought back to the tears I shed, the angry blog post I had written. “That’s because the Air Force was sending us from one crappy base to another. That wasn’t fair. So long as they keep their end of the bargain, which is giving you a base from your Dream Sheet since you’re going to Korea for a year, the Air Force and I are cool.” I even crossed my fingers to show how tight the Air Force and I would be if they sent us to Texas. Or Ohio.

Tom shot me a Look. “Seriously though. Mind what you say. Promise?”

Now I slipped my crossed fingers behind my back so he couldn’t see. “I promise.”

The Big Bill

“Oh my gosh!” I shouted as I gripped the letter. I waited for Tom to shout back, “What is it?” but he didn’t. No, he continued to play his computer game. Sometimes I want to smack whoever created Call of Duty.

I stepped a little closer to where Tom sat. For once he didn’t have his headphones on so there was no excuse why he didn’t hear me.

“Oh my GOSH!” I tried again.

Nothing.

Sometimes it’s frustrating that he can get so lost in his game. I try and remind myself that he’s not a Mom, therefore he can easily shut off all his senses. Unlike me, who, as I’m writing this now, has my ears set to what Natalie is doing (playing with her Little People and munching on some grapes.)

“My gosh,” I said for the final time and then tossed the letter into Tom’s lap.

“What the HELL?” he yelled, jumping. A bunch of explosions appeared on the screen and then the words You’ve been killed by…. popped up. “Amber. You just got me killed. What in the…” He punched a few buttons and picked up the letter. “What’s this?”

“What we owe for Natalie’s hospital stay in Denver,” I answered sweetly.

Tom frowned, scanning for the amount. When he found it, he turned pale and went, “Seriously?”



“Mmmm,” I said lightly, scratching my arm.

“Do we have to....pay this?” Tom’s skin was still an unhealthy white.

“Yup,” I teased but then I quickly went, “No, no, insurance covers it, don’t pass out!!” Because after I had gone “yup” Tom had slumped over a bit. It really is a good thing he’s not married to one of those Housewives of Orange County who don’t think twice about dropping six grand on one dress.

“Thank goodness for insurance then,” Tom said, handing me back the letter.

“Yup. Thank goodness for insurance. Now I have to make a phone call to Verizon because while we were in the hospital, Natalie downloaded something onto my phone which ended up costing us another ten bucks on the bill,” I said.

Seriously. I have no idea what the little minx put on my phone. I had given it to her, to distract her as they put in her IV when we were at the hospital. She had happily punched a bunch of buttons, enjoying the way the screen flicked to different colors. From the corner of my eye I saw something that said, “Thank you for purchasing….” and I snatched it back.

“What did you purchase?” I asked stupidly. I mean, hello, like she’s going to tell me.

“Uh oh,” the nurse said.

Uh oh, indeed. Then I got our cell phone bill and sure enough, Natalie had indeed bought something.

So I dialed Verizon’s number and waited…

And waited….

And waited….

“Can I please just speak to a human being?!” I wailed.

Then I was told to say what I needed help with and they’d transfer me accordingly.

“My daughter downloaded something and I want to know what the crap it was!” I yelled.

There was a tinkling noise and then, “Could you repeat that?”

Great, I had confused the computer.

“MY DAUGHTER DOWNLOADED SOMETHING AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE CRAP IT WAS!”

There was another tinkling noise and then I was told I was being transferred.

Finally.

A human.

When one picked up I went, “Are you real or a computer?”

She laughed. “I’m real.”

So then I told her the problem and she found it hilarious—of course she would, my daughter’s mistake earned her company an extra ten bucks—but she didn’t quite know what Natalie downloaded.

“Look in the ring tones,” she suggested.

I did. Nothing.

“Hmmmm,” she kept mumbling.

Eventually I found a tiny recording that Natalie had made. She just went, “Blahhh,” into it and I guess she had set it to a ringtone. So that’s what cost me the extra money. A recording of my daughter going, “Blahhh.” Fantastic.

Mystery solved though.

And, by the way, Natalie is never touching my phone again. What would she do next, make a recording of her going, “Booooo?”

Inside Natalie's Closet: GBR Edition

So Gymboree had something called Gymbuck Redemption, which basically meant you could save money on the clothes you bought.

Gymbuck Redemption has been known to give me a headache because I never exactly know what I want. However, this time I'm pleased on what I picked out.

So without further ado, here is an entry called Inside Natalie's Closet: GBR (Gymbuck Redemption) edition.

"Hey Natalie, what do you think of the new dress?"



Natalie says, "Meh."

Then I started to sing creepy Yo Gabba Gabba songs and she warmed up:





"Hey Natalie, I got you some sunglasses to go with the dress. What do you think?"



Natalie says, "Meh."

But then I sang again and waved to a neighbor who walked past with her dog. "Nice song," she called out as I sang about not biting your friends.





"Come on Natalie, time for an outfit change. We'll pretend we're Jennifer Lopez."



And yes, that is a plastic skull that she's holding. She refused to let it go. "SKULL WANTS PICTURE TOO!" she bellowed as the same neighbor who had passed before, returned home. She probably thinks we're some freak house who collects skulls and talks about not biting people.



"Natalie, we just have one more outfit left. Okay?"



"WTF do you mean one more outfit?"

After a bite of chocolate, Natalie returned.

Only she didn't come back as Natalie.

She came back as a fairy.



She had to have the unicorn purse. While deciding what I should order, Natalie had spotted the purse and had gone, "For me?"



"Yes, Natalie, the purse is for you." And yes, she insisted on wearing her pink boots.



"I yuv the horse," Natalie said.



She doesn't always laugh when I sing. No, sometimes I have to run into the house to get a smile. I'm not kidding. Should I be concerned that my fake pain causes her pleasure?



After I ran into the house, Natalie pointed and shrieked, "Mommy went bang!" (And the same neighbor came outside to throw some trash away and saw me colliding ON PURPOSE with my home. Yeah. We're freaks in her eyes.)



Still amused.



Did I mention that the shirt had wings on the back?



"Natalie, I got you some sunglasses to go with this outfit too!"



"Say what?"



I was trying to get her to peek demurely out of her glasses. She kept going, "What's demore mean?"





"Mommy is funny when she smacks into a wall!"



This picture is called: "Natalie. With a Tumbleweed."

"Okay Natalie, just a few more pictures. Smile for Mommy!"



"Love you, Natalie."



"Yuv you, Mommy."