Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Story of the Dent

Tom loves his truck.

Sometimes I wonder if he loves it more than me.

Sometimes I’ll catch him staring at it when he’s supposed to be mowing the lawn. It’s like he’s thinking, “Look at that beauty. All shiny and red.”

He takes excellent care of his truck. He washes it all the time and winces when he sees someone drive by in a filthy truck.

“How can a guy let his truck look like that?” he’ll moan.

If he can keep his truck neat, then why can’t he get his dirty clothes in the hamper? This is what I want to know. I’ve asked him and he winks and says, “It’s fun to see you frazzled.”

I don’t know what to think about that.

Tom freaks out if the neighborhood children get too close to his truck. He’s yelled at one for daring to touch it. Tom also freaks out if he feels I’m abusing it. Apparently I slam my door too hard. I did this a few times and Tom will suck in his breath and go,

“What has my truck done to you?”

“Excuse me?” I’m always confused.

“You don’t need to slam the door like that,” Tom will lecture. Once he actually showed me the proper way to close the door.

“Lightly, yet firmly,” Tom said, pushing the door. “Do you see what I’m doing here? Lightly...yet....firmly....”

I rarely pay attention. Maybe I like to see Tom frazzled too. Maybe this means we have a sick relationship. I don’t know.

We have antelope that wander the neighborhood. Tom once scared a bunch off because he was worried they were getting too close to his truck.

“Shoo! Shoo!” he yelled, waving his arms in the air.

I never wanted to know how he’d react if something did happen to his truck. I mean, awhile back, someone backed into it and you’d have thought that he lost one his balls or something. Thankfully it got fixed because Tom made sure the guy gave his insurance information—he would never let someone escape after harming his baby.

Well, this is what happened on Saturday when we went out:

See, what happened is we went to Dennys and the parking lot was full being that it was a Saturday morning. Who can resist a breakfast from Dennys? There were people walking around and this one guy was getting into his vehicle next to the empty spot Tom was backing into. Suddenly, the guy got out of his vehicle (maybe to admire the truck, men admire Tom’s truck all the time) and Tom was worried that he’d accidentally hit him. So he turned the wheel a bit to give the guy more room.

He was so busy concentrating on doing this that he didn’t realize that he had backed far enough.

He didn’t realize that until the whole truck shuddered.

“What was that?” Tom demanded as we rocked for a few seconds.

“ may have hit the pole back there,” I said this gently as though I were preparing a person for awful news.

Tom looked sick. “My truck!” And then he was trying to get out of his seat but he forgot he still had his seatbelt on so he struggled for a few seconds.

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. It was so funny to see this grown man thrashing in his seat.

I actually got out first. Tom was still trying to pull free as I stepped onto the ground. I cautiously went around to the back and this is when I saw the dent.

Uh oh.

“Is there damage?” Tom called, finally free. He marched over, he jaw set tightly.

I leaped in front of it. “No damage at all!” I lied.

Tom stared at me in disbelief. “No damage? But the truck shook…”

I shrugged. “We got lucky, I suppose.”

I knew he’d eventually find out. But I just wanted to enjoy my breakfast. I knew if Tom noticed the ding that he’d—

“Wait a minute. Wait. What’s that?” Tom was craning his neck around me.

“Bird poo! Those damn birds. Scientists really need to teach them how to use a communal bird toilet or something,” I rambled.

Tom gently pushed me aside. “That’s a dent.” He looked a little pale as he ran his finger around it. “That’s a dent.”

I was worried he was going to hyperventilate, actually.

“It’s not that bad,” I said. “Really.”

“That’s a dent on my truck.” Tom was still a pasty white color.

“How about we go eat?” I suggested, pulling on his arm.

I got the kids out and pulled a dazed Tom towards the entrance. I kept hearing him mutter, “dent” and “truck.”

When we settled down at a booth Tom distractedly perused the menu.

When the waiter asked us what we wanted to drink Tom went, “Truck.”

The waiter furrowed his brow. “Huh?”

“We’ll both have cherry cokes,” I said in a rushed tone.

As I was deciding between the French toast or the omelet, I heard Tom say, “Why did I move aside for that guy?”

I looked up with a start. “Erm, you moved so you wouldn’t hit him and go to jail.”

“But if I didn’t move, I wouldn’t have been as distracted and I wouldn’t have hit the pole,” Tom moaned, putting his head into his hands.

“Tom. Darling. I’m starting to question your sanity now. You moved so you wouldn’t hit and kill the poor man,” I reminded him.

Tom lifted his head up and nodded. “Right,” he said. “Right.”

He wasn’t quite there when we got our food. He still ate but he seemed lost in thought.

“This omelet is delicious,” I gushed.

“Dent and truck,” Tom basically answered.

“And aren’t these pancake puppies scrumptious?” I continued.

“Truck and dent.”

So yes. It wasn’t the best meal ever.

Tom has made peace with it now. Sort of. If he glances at the dent he sort of tenses up and goes pale again. But other than that, I think he’s okay.

I hope.


  1. Boys & their toys. Our Harley is garage kept while all other vehicles must stay in the driveway. Imagine that.

  2. Oh no, my husband would Freak. Out. Why do guys care more for thier vehicles then the house? If I leave one napkin in his car he has a fit yet he leaves his clothes all over the floor and dirty dishes in the sink. WTF?

  3. Poor, poor Tom. My husband's the same way about his truck. He's psycho about it, actually. I wonder if they'll ever grow up?

  4. Boys are so funny!
    So, a long, long time ago,
    in college,
    there was this guy who was OBSESSED about his car.
    I decided then, that no matter what I drove, I would never put that much value on a piece of transportation. Life is too short to be worried about that kind of stuff all the time! I mean, chances are good, that cars will get dinged a lot in their lifetime. I hope he can get his truck fixed soon though! And I am SO glad the poor man didn't get killed : )

  5. Very funny! Guys love their trucks...for some reason. But I guess I understand because that is how I am about my kids clothes. haha

  6. sucks about the truck and everything, but my real question here is:

    you drink cherry coke for breakfast?!


  7. "Truck and dent"
    "Dent and truck" - poor Tom only had one thing on his mind

    Bless his heart

  8. Ok, so the 3rd day I had my new car I came out of Target to find someone had opened their door and let it hit my car causing a dent. I was so mad! So, I asked around about ways I could get a dent out without having to take it in. This is what I found...

    Give it a try! I have yet to have time to try it, but I will :)

  9. Men are so funny. My husband freaks out over that kind of stuff too.

  10. Oh my heart totally breaks for him. Such a tragedy. Now, he won't even notice when it gets dirty or birds poop on it, or another dent shows up. It is no longer perfect. ~sigh~ Now lets move on to other the hamper

  11. poor tom. glad there was no serious bodily damage for anyone!
    ps - my dad slams car doors really hard and it makes my husband crazy. one time my dad slammed my husband's passenger door so hard that he knocked the window off the track and it fell down into the door and we had to go to a body shope to get it fixed. true story. oh...i shut doors just like my dad.

  12. *sigh* Men. My husband is total oppposite to the point that it's actually a little embarrassing. We've been driving a car with a busted, yet functioning, taillight for nearly a year and a half. I wish he'd fix it. It's a nice car but we look like trailer trash with the busted out light LOL.

  13. men are just hilarious sometimes!

    and yes i get lessons too in how NOT to slam the truck door.. yea gimmie a break!!

    and btw- are there really antelope in your neighborhood... that just seems a bit odd?

  14. Boys and their toys. What do you do, right?

  15. SO sorry about 'the dent.' I hope he's recovering from it well. Such trauma!!! ;-P

  16. My hubby has the exact same truck and feels the same way!!

  17. Poor Tom. Poor Truck. I totally get it. I used to be that way about my car. Then it got keyed and the husband hit the house with it (I am not sure how THAT happened) and so I sort of gave up....!

  18. Like Brandy said, "Boys and their toys." Sometimes it gets pretty close to cuckoo, eh? LOL!

  19. That is why I have a piece of crap truck...

    Doesn't matter what happens to it, it always looks the same...

  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

  21. Good heavens... Just thank your lucky stars you were NOT the one driving at the time... :/

  22. He'll never be okay with that dent. Watch out for Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome!

  23. My husband has a red truck too. What is this? A secret club or something? Ours was broken into a couple of years ago. The passenger window was broken out.. There was nothing in it to steal, but it looked pretty sad.

  24. My husband is not a car man but if something ever happened to his computer, God help us all.

  25. Hi! Popping by again from SITS roll call to visit.

    My husband is just the opposite. He seems to think his truck is a demolition derby car. It has more dents and bumps and scratches and scrapes (and it WAS a nice truck) and when I ask about one of them he just looks at me and says "what? it's a TRUCK!"

    Happy Weekend!!

  26. I can't believe I just watched that "remove car dent with airduster" video. Dent porn, huh? I really want to go and try it out now.

    Is Tom going to give it a go? I mean the poor guy can't function mumbling "truck... dent" without fixing it, right?

    My partner is also strangely unaffected by this kind of thing, which is odd given the fact that he's kind of fastidious. He looks like a left tackle (and I AM about to again become a football widow, so he hews to other ball-scratching stereotypes, but not that one.)

  27. I'm with Mary. My husband treats his truck badly also. Drives in the woods with it, and throws pop bottles on the floor.

  28. Delurking to say hello! I just found your blog and have found myself giggling out loud at your posts. And in a good way! ;)

    I hope Tom recovers from the Truck Trauma. Poor guy. LOL

  29. I am so glad he caused the dent himself because he probably would have killed someone else if they had done it! Our car has so many dings in it from crowded city parking lots that it looks like it has hail damage. LOL

  30. You gotta let 'em fall down. Just like kids. But it's painful the first time. I feel sorry for Tom, and at the same time I'm thankful I didn't have to birth a truck.

  31. I am proud to say that I am not responsible for any of the dents on our car.

    I don't wash it either. I tell myself that it's less likely to be stolen if it's dirty - and if that's wrong, I don't want to be right.

  32. Boys and their toys! Sorry Tom but OMG I laughed picturing him struggling to get out of the seatbelt! Too funny!

  33. Boys do love their toys! Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  34. Well, yeah. I mean, what can you expect from Dennys?? Hubby used to take me there for 'dates' in college. Those can't really be considered dates can they? I think I call a rematch.
    I also think you should stand naked NEXT to the truck and see which he looks at when he's mowing...

  35. It's pkay. My husband recently sold our car to my girlfriend who crashed it a week later. He does not flinch when my kids break bones. He shed a tear for his ex- car. Sad.

  36. All the girls in my neighborhood make fun of the boys because they all have big red trucks. When they're all at one house, we're like, LOOK, it's a meeting of the big red truck club!! Normally they're all shiny and nice, but every once in awhile, you know they've been mud runnin cause they come back a mess.

    Poor Tom & his dent :(

  37. I understand. I'd cry if I did that. I feel for Tom.

  38. why, oh why do I often feel when reading your blogs that I'm catching a teeny glimpse of my future???

  39. LOL... im sorry you have to live with that. is he one of those that parks in the farthest parking spot and on the end so there is a 50% less chance of dings happening? my best friends husband is like that.

  40. OMG here we go again with the obsessive TRUCK thing! They are loony when it comes to their trucks, aren't they???? Maybe now that the shock has (hopefully) worn off, he can treat it like a vehicle instead of a shrine!

  41. My sister backed into her own car this weekend! Her excuse was pregnancy brain, but trust me we'll never let her live it down!

  42. This is how my husband feels about his electronics...Smartphone, laptop, etc. He gets so distracted and irritable if something is wrong with them...and he might love them more than me...

  43. Hahaha! What is it about men and their trucks?!

  44. Hi ya! just came over from SITS. you were 2 above me but the one above didn't follow the directions about sharing a favorite post so I skipped her...I hate it when people don't do what they are asked to do! :) anywho. love this post. I can totally relate! Happy SITS day sharefest!

  45. Hey girl,
    Cute blog. I was reading where you live and thought to myself I bet that is where i was born. ha

    Stopping by from Sits

    Have a wonderful weekend

  46. Oh no!!! Kinda reminds me of that episode on Desperate Housewives where Lynette's husband Tom (hahaha, coincidence?) buys his dream car and he FREAKS anytime anyone even looks at it.

    Poor Tom...hopefully he'll get over it soon. Or maybe not.

  47. Cracking UP over the image of him thrashing in his seat. Good Lord :) Poor man. Bless his heart.

  48. Your husband sounds so much like mine it isn't funny. Do they ever grow up and get over their toys?!? :)

  49. if your husband saw my husband's truck he would have a coronary. he is exactly the person your husband is referring to that KEEPS HIS TRUCK LIKE THAT. broken taillight, broken tailgate, never been washed inside or out. it is a hot mess.. loved the post

  50. awww.... poor Tom, poor truck! I'm trying not to laugh but you make everything funny!

  51. Holy balls.

    Ok, here's a confession: I backed into my husband's "baby" a few weeks ago. The car was parked just behind my huge honkin van but in my blind spot. To make a long story short, I put a pretty serious, long dent in his front. But not so noticeable that I had to TELL him. In fact, I made my children LIE TO THEIR DADDY so that we wouldn't have to deal with it until the weekend.

    Granted, he was upset, but not TOO badly. I am still counting my blessings.

    The van (of course) survived with nary a scratch.

    Moral? Buy big, honkin, ugly vans because they are apparently sturdy and won't get banged up no matter how hard you try...

  52. Insert kayak or fishing pole for truck and you have my husband.


  53. The best part of this post is that visual of him struggling to get out of the truck with his seatbelt on. This post had me cracking up!!

  54. *giggling*

    Your poor man!! Grown men (aka little boys) and their toys!!!

  55. I love this blog!

    You are such a great writer. This is the reason why I love reading blogs and eventually started up my own one. You plough through all the duff ones (Earn more money! Top tips to improve your hairline!) And find gems like these.

    Love your writing style and how you make the ordinary hilarious.

  56. Oh, I hate that! It is a little thing, but it's so NOT a little thing! Grrrr.....

  57. Oh dear, you have my husbands twin. Pull the handle too hard? You are going to break it off. Pull in the driveway at 34 mph? You are going to bank the driveway and wear out the tires. You name it, it will kill the vehicle. I am so sorry for your dent.

  58. Oh dear, you have my husbands twin. Pull the handle too hard? You are going to break it off. Pull in the driveway at 34 mph? You are going to bank the driveway and wear out the tires. You name it, it will kill the vehicle. I am so sorry for your dent.

  59. The only thing that my husband ever cleans without being asked is the car! He actually tells me to take it to be washed kinda disgusted in me driving around town with a dirty car. How about our moldy toilet??? This doesn't bother you????


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