Friday, May 9, 2014

What I've Learned Being A Military Spouse

Most people know I'm a military spouse. My husband is in the Air Force. My Mom was in the Air Force. So I'm used to this lifestyle. Some people don't understand what it's like to be a military spouse so I decided to share my views.

So here we go....




--You'll Be Told "We have to move in two months," at any given moment. This happened when we were stationed in Nebraska. I was all settled in, especially because they had just opened a Target right by our house, and then Tom came home and was like, "I got orders. To England."




--The other military spouses might not like you. For ridiculous reasons. We moved here and I met the other wives of the people my husband worked with. One kept giving me the stink eye for no reason! I later found out from another wife that it's because she thought I was weird. Well, hello, I am weird. What's also amusing is she goes around saying she doesn't like drama--yet she's usually in the middle of it.





--If you live on base housing, you'll be in charge of plants in the front yard even if you've explained to housing that you kill all plants. If the plants look bad, you'll get a citation for it. If you get so many citations, you'll be kicked off of base housing. I'm surprised this hasn't happened to me yet. I think we came close in Wyoming. It seemed I got a new citation every week. "Sir!" I'd plead on the phone, "I don't like plants!" I guess he took pity on me.




--Your spouse will come and say, "I have orders to deploy. I'll be gone for most of the year." Or the entire year. It doesn't matter if you had vacation plans or if someone is graduating/doing a recital/starting Kindergarten. Your spouse will probably miss a lot of key moments. It'll just be you, taking care of the kids/the house/the angry cat.





--Oh and when your spouse goes? Everything will break. You'll feel like you're at your breaking point many times.






--Sometimes you won't be able to even leave the military base because of an exercise. See, the base will sometimes shut down the gates to practice what would happen if a crazy person/terrorist/Tara Reid got in. Or they'll go over what would happen if a bomb was left or some other explosive device. Sometimes the base closes down because a vehicle DID run the gate and they have to find said vehicle. Sometimes there's a missing kid. This means if you have an appointment off base, it's too bad. I was supposed to meet a friend for dinner and couldn't leave the base. I was an hour late. She understood since she's also a military wife, but it still can get frustrating.





---You'll probably embarrass yourself in front of your spouse's superiors at least once. Tom is enlisted, which means all officers are technically above him, even if Tom has been in longer. And no, I don't appreciate the officer jokes that they sit behind a desk because it's not true. My Mom retired as a Colonel and worked her butt off. She wasn't behind a desk all the time. Anyway. At the Christmas party I did trip on my high heels. In front of a Lt. Colonel who probably thought I was drunk.





So, be honest? Want to be a military spouse?

And if you are one, have you experienced any of these?



37 comments:

  1. I have to say thank you for your sacrifice as well. It's not just then men and women in the military that scare give but their families as well. Thank you dear :)

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  2. Random car checks.... at 7am... while I'm still in my PJ's... It happened.

    That was a great list! I can relate! Though I wouldn't really mind getting orders saying we leave in 2 months... I want orders out of here!

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  3. Amber...sister...you're a damn hero to me now.

    I had no idea.

    I can tell you however, sometimes I experience the same things WITH a husband around. Except the plants part.

    =)

    I left for work this morning so mad I had to pull the car over. He didn't take the trash out and I spilt it all over the kitchen floor trying to do it myself. And on top of that, it's our daughters job that she conveniently doesn't do until she needs something.

    I'm still livid. Over trash. And the fact I get no help (in my mind anyway).

    So, I feel for you. Thank you for doing what you do so Tom can do what he does.

    Consider me hugging your sweet neck right now. Cause I need it, too. =)

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  4. I had no clue about being in charge of the plants around your house on base.

    Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

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  5. Or the random, short notice schedule changes. My husband usually works 7 am to 3 pm. Last week he got switched to 11 pm to 7 am (with a 2 day notice). This week he is working normal, and next week he works 6 pm to 6 am for an exercise. Drives me nuts! Mostly because he cannot function without sleep and I would rather him be not home than home and tired haha. Having to constantly switch back and forth from nights to days makes for some crabby days around here!

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  6. Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day to you!!! (I didn't even know there was such a thing.)
    I'm a military spouse - thankfully Chris is in the Air National Guard and we are always in the same unit so we don't get moving orders.

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  7. The spouses, kids and families sacrifice too. Thank you!

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  8. I thoroughly enjoyed this! I know it's not an easy life! But thank you to you and your husband!

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  9. All of this is so flippin' true! I've actually been hated on because I was friends with the 'weird' girl. It didn't help that I laughed in their face and said she was more fun. Teehee. PS. I'm so afraid of killing the plants at our current house. I wouldn't have picked it if I had known. I kill plants too.

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  10. Tara Reid obviously killed the plants. She's like that. Also, I'd wait an hour for you to get to dinner as long as you didn't wear heels so high you tripped and spilled your drink. ;)

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  11. Thank you for all that you do as a military family. I can't even imagine how hard it must be.

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  12. This is all very interesting and some things sound frustrating. I would have killed all plants in the first week, so I feel your pain there. Thanks for the glimpse into your life. Have you posted a "what I've learned" about being a blogger yet? If not, you totally should!

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  13. My hats off to you honey, I honestly dont think I could do it. Especially the plant thing. I killed my orchid and the instructions were to put 2 ice cubes in it a week THATS IT .. I fail!

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  14. One of my friends is living in Germany on an army base right now and you have manage to explain exactly what it is like to be married to the military! I kill all plants to and would just plant cactus or dandelions....those things are hardy!!

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  15. This post was awesome!
    Happy Military Spouse day to you!

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  16. Don't you just love how the ones who claim to hate drama are usually the ones to start it? Being weird is fun... let that freak flag fly, baby! :)

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  17. The most disturbing things here were the getting kicked off base for killing plants. Um..what?
    And the woman who thought you were weird. She sounds ace. (not)
    No, I don't want to be a military spouse but I applaud you and your family so very, very much.
    What would we be like without social media?? I'd go nuts.

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  18. My husband and I would be in big trouble with keeping up with our yard work if we were in the military.

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  19. Thanks for linking up! You so nailed being a military spouse on the head. Haha. That murphy.. and I'd kill the plants too! Happy military spouse appreciation day and thanks for all that you do!

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  20. I think that's why I'm not besties with any of Brandon's coworker's wives... I'm the weird one. Eh, whatever.

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  21. The missing children. It's almost a weekly thing here. I was late picking up one of my kids from preschool off-post, because they had shut down the gates to find a missing kid.
    Our plants were all dead when we moved in... Still haven't been fixed & I would actually like to take care of them...

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  22. My brother is in the air force. My sister in law tells me stories all the time about these things esp the military wives and their stink eyes!!!

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  23. I spent six years as a proud Air Force spouse and have experienced all but one of these - I'm lucky that my husband was never deployed for a long amount of time. He actually volunteered to go somewhere once (Qatar or Afghanistan or something? I don't remember. Someplace desert-y) and they wouldn't let him because his dad had just died and they were afraid he was volunteering out of grief. I think he really just wanted to experience it, but I was secretly glad he didn't get to go. And now that he's been out for a while, I can't imagine the thought of him being gone for more than a couple of nights at a time. Kudos to you for being so strong, and to Tom for his service!

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  24. Happy MilSpouse Appreciation Day to you! I've been there, done that, got a T-shirt (no, actually I only got this appreciation certificate when hubby re-enlisted). I cannot tell you how glad I am that he's out.

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  25. Oh, and I would like to add 5 am phone calls that hubby has once again been "randomly selected" for a drug test. Thanks for waking up the baby again, just like last month, and the month before, and the one before that....

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  26. I think it would be so tough to not have control over when or where you move--I wouldn't like that at all. My Dad traveled just three months out of the year when I was growing up--and it's true, everything always broke while he was gone.
    I don't know any of my husband's coworkers or their spouses...and I like it that way...

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  27. We were stationed here a little over a year ago and I haven't even gotten around to trying to meet people/make friends yet.

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  28. this made me giggle. all of it. as a fellow air force wife i can relate!

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  29. Most of these are hilarious but I feel bad for you! Thank you for all that you sacrifice for our country- moving, raising the kids solo at a moments notice, having to care for plants that you hate, being stuck on base- damn girl! Thanks for sharing all of these. I'm sure there's more too

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  30. This is so true. Life being in a military family is not easy. But everything has is due and for being strong still and facing those challenges you deserve a recognition. Thank you for your efforts and sacrifices.

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  31. Oh man, plants hate me. I can't even imagine what would happen to me.

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  32. Kudos to you, Tom, and the kids. Being in a military family is not easy by any means!

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  33. I don't really know any military families, so thank you for this perspective on the life. Also, thank you to your family for enduring this for our country.

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  34. You made me laugh and nod my head in agreement throughout this entire post. I'm an Air Force Brat and a Navy Wife. Yes, yes and yes.

    -H, Life of a Traveling Navy Wife

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  35. Laughed at each of these because they are so spot on. I had a most embarrassing moment with my sailor's CO once ... it ended with me mistakenly hugging him. I cringe to this day. #awkward

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