Friday, June 20, 2014

Why I Don't Do Yoga

Yoga.

It seems everyone around me loves to do it.

Some have even asked me to join them.

I always decline.

Why?

Let me share the reasons.







1. I would laugh seeing everyone fold or bend in different directions. Butts waving in the air is hilarious to me. Feet dangling in the air is hilarious to me.





2. If someone farted while in a hilarious position, I'd die laughing. I'd disrupt the class and the instructor would ask me to remove myself. Farts are funny. I don't understand people who don't react when someone farts. It's not natural.






3. I am not flexible enough. I'd fall over. I'd probably make the person next to me fall over. The entire CLASS could fall over.




4. If the instructor asks everyone to find their inner tranquility or starts with the "ohhmmm" chanting, this would make me explode with laughter. The only time I find my inner tranquility is when I'm devouring chocolate. Or a giant piece of cake.






So no, I could never do Yoga.

It's just not my thing.

Is it your thing? (Ohmmmmmmm)

104 comments:

  1. BWAHAHAHAHA this did make me giggle. I haven't done yoga in months - I absolutely love it to be honest but I understand and relate to everything you just said hahaha


    www.bohemianmuses.blogspot.com

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  2. Exactly the same reasons I don't do yoga!
    I have roller derby practice three times a week, and a couple weeks ago I accidentally farted while doing stretches. Best part, I didn't have to be embarrased because everyone else on the team doesn't think twice about those bodily functions.

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  3. i love yoga but i can't stand the chanting. when i went to a class and the instructor was all about that, i wanted to leave; it totally ruined my mojo!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  4. farting. that's why i'm out. it would happen to me.

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  5. Hahaha you made my day! I did yoga a while ago (like 12 years ago in college) and after a few classes I was cursing my decision to join yoga because I discovered muscles I didn't know existed as well as a few unknown constellations that NASA probably hasn't even discovered yet! However, I got used it and enjoyed it after a while. Luckily our instructor didn't chant but when she did tell us to imagine relaxing the tip of our head it took a lot of self control not to laugh out loud.

    P.S. I still don't know how to relax the tip of my head without imagining my head being an elongated shape!

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  6. HAHA I do yoga, but have NEVER experienced any of the above.
    I mainly do it to stretch out my lower back since I have problems with it and it helps.

    If I did experience any of the above I'd probably kill over from laughing as well.

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  7. I love yoga but I don't do it for two reasons: farting (both from me and someone else. Like you, I'd have uncontrollable laughter because farts are damn hilarious) and my boobs. I can't do most of the positions because they get in the way. Does not make for a good experience.

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  8. I've tried it.

    Many times. I just can't stick with it. I don't know why either.

    It's super relaxing and I sleep SO good afterwards, but it's the making time for it and getting there.

    Yeah. That's it. =)

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  9. the next time I'm doing my yoga, I am going think about this and laugh. lol

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  10. It's not an easy class to take either!

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  11. I always blame it on my Type A personality, but that's probably the reason I SHOULD take yoga, right? To calm myself down and destress. Still, I like your reasons. Hilarious!

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  13. I like yoga because I hate working out and I don't feel like I'm exercising when I take yoga. The classes I've been to are nothing like in the movies... Maybe I'm just taking the easy classes? I have totally heard people fart,though.

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  14. I feel you, girl! I have never been to a yoga class for just these reasons. Now, I have an IMPRESSIVE wardrobe of yoga pants though! They are wonderful! --Lisa

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  15. Bahahaha!! A friend of mine was telling me about a girl farting in his class and him being the only ass to laugh. I would be that person too.

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  16. LOL I couldnt either I find immature things hilarious!

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  17. Last week my daughter's youth group did yoga and she came home laughing and said that every 10 minutes or so someone would let loose of a special gift to the class. that right there is why I can't do yoga!

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  18. Your farting paragraph is my new favorite paragraph. I don't get it. How can they not see the humor?
    My sister is a Yogi master. Like..amazing. And I'm like.. "Yeah I did a somersault once without breaking my neck. It was ten years ago."

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  19. HaHa - this made me laugh!!!
    I rarely do yoga and when I do it is at home by myself with a DVD - I don't even attempt some of the positions!!!

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  20. I don't do it because I don't like sweat. Sweat is bad.

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  21. There is no way I'd even attempt to do yoga. I think if I tried to do a cartwheel now I'd get a headache. I'll stick to running...no coordination involved.

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  22. HAHAHAHAHAHA

    "feet hanging in the air is hilarious to me"

    HAHAHAHA dying!

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  23. Bwahahaha, this is so me! I cannot keep a straight face when butts and farts are involved!

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  24. I wish I could do it too - but I suck at it! Found you at SITS!

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  25. Too funny! I've only taken one yoga class and it was aerial yoga, so all I did throughout class was pretend that I was a very awkward performer from Cirque du Soleil :)

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  26. This is the funniest post I have read all morning and its sooo true! I would be right there with you laughing!
    Trish @ thetrishlist.blogspot.com

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  27. You forgot that your limbs might pop off at the joints with too much stress. You made me laugh. Enjoy Sharefest.

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  28. I'm terrified I would fart. Not even kidding. haha

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  29. Been there done that. It has actually happened to me. Unlike you i did not know the possibility of farts was a real thing in yoga and once a lady farted. I was the only one laughing. I mean really?

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  30. Been there done that. It has actually happened to me. Unlike you i did not know the possibility of farts was a real thing in yoga and once a lady farted. I was the only one laughing. I mean really?

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  31. Haha, I would TOTALLY laugh if someone farted in a yoga class. Or would probably end up snorting if I tried to stifle it. Stopping by from SITSSharefest!

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  32. Well out here in california we have a yoga class especially for people like you- it's laughing yoga! lol I'm not even kidding, sad. We're such losers out here

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  33. Okay, I do totally get the fart thing. Maybe it's because two of my three kids are boys but really, how would it not be funny? I'm not flexible either but I do have to admit that I like Yoga. However, I haven't tried an actual class yet so we'll see what happens.

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  34. I'm picturing a giant domino effect from you toppling over and knocking everyone else down! LOL And I would do the same thing, I am a total klutz. And I for sure would fart.

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  35. My place of employment offers free yoga classes. I used to attend them until the day when the instructor showed us how to do "wind pose" and encouraged us to fart. There's no way I could take it seriously if someone were to rip one during a pose. I'd be laughing for the rest of the class and probably some time after that.

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  36. I never liked yoga for many of the reasons that you mentioned. I recently started doing a hot yoga sculpt class which I love. I've also been doing some stretching/foam rolling/yoga that I love post run. I've discovered that it;s not all the way I assumed it was.
    Confessions of A Mother Runner

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  37. I just got books out of the library and started doing it at home back in 2000. I did it for about 6 or 7 years before major side pain took over and I found out I had sciatica.

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  38. Honestly? Farting is near the top of my "why I don't do yoga" list, too!!

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  39. Whenever I hear ohmmm it makes me think of food, sort of like ohmmm nommm nommm.

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  40. I have never been joined any yoga and i guess after reading your post i will never give it a shot as well.Hehehe, this post made me laugh and laugh.
    Xo,
    Shreya!
    https://mymagicaltrunk.com/

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  41. Haha! I do like yoga but I do agree with you that some poses are just too much. I die laughing when I see them or someone asks me to do them. Same with farting....that's why when I do chose to yoga, I do it at home! :)

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  42. Haha I giggled throughout reading the post!

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  43. Every time I read a funny post and think this is the funniest I have ever read here, Amber Myers does it again!
    Lool
    This is so hilarious, was laughing all through.
    Hehehe, and I find yoga postures quite silly too!

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  44. Ha, yes, sounds like a disaster waiting to happen! Yoga is definitely not for everyone! :)

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  45. I tried yoga once and I feel the same way. I am not flexible enough for it.

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  46. I had to laugh when I saw your images. I keep wanting to try yoga but I never get around to it. I think I'm too uncoordinated.
    Carol
    http://carolcassara.com/caregiving-advice/

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  47. As an avid Yogi, I do find this hilarious! The farting does happen and the funniest part? They usually happen in the "Happy Baby" pose LOL

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  48. Loved reading your post! I've been trying hot yoga since last few months and it refreshes me from within!

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  49. Hahahaha I don't do yoga because of these reasons too!! Your posts are always good! Thank you!

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  50. When I do Yoga it's typically in my own personal space. I'm not flexible at all and if I tip over I want to be close to my bed and tub to soak in. LOL

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  51. I had to laugh at your take on things. I agree that yoga would not probably be the best exercise for you.

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  52. Lol this is too funny, especially the chocolate part. I have never tried yoga actually now I want to give it a try.

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  53. Yoga seems fun and something That I'd be interested in. Hehe that poor cat....

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  54. You must be my clone! I don't do yoga for those exact reasons! I tried doing yoga at home and ending up failing big time.

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  55. LOL My wife could relate on these funny GIF hahaha!

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  56. Not just for me...it works wonders for others. So, I'm happy for them.

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  57. Hahahaha I totally get that, I love yoga and too me a while to stop giggling but sometimes I do just laught lol

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  58. I don't do yoga beacuse of this reason lol. I love this post

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  59. Yes - all these reasons are why I also do not do Yoga!

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  60. The fart reason cracked me up. Must admit I've surely passed gas while practicing yoga haha

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  61. I like yoga for the exercise it provides but I'm not too fond of the music so I stopped participating in yoga.

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  62. I used to love to do yoga, but since I hurt my knee and ankle, it's a no go for me. I can't get into some of those positions anymore.

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  63. I personally like yoga but on my own at the comfort of my home and not in any group.

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  64. I almost die while reading your reasons! hahaha. make sense though. :)

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  65. This was a laugh therapy session.But exercise in any way should be something you want to do So it's best not do yoga if you are not sure😊

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  66. This is hilarious! I've never done yoga but I believe that it really helps you meditate while also being fit. I'd love to give it a try soon!

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  67. Funny post! I enjoyed reading everything! I have nothing against yoga and the people who do it. It sure is funny to see why you chose not to give it a try! Lol.

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  68. Lol I love reading this. I don't do Yoga because of these reason. I'm so lazy

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  69. Haha! This is too funny and very true actually. I can get on board with these reasons.

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  70. Honestly, I've been you.... and I tried yoga, and I felt moments of greatness and a lot of moments of falling over! You've got me inspired to maybe try it again... or drink more wine. One or the other!

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  71. You have totally cracked me up! You are extremely List and I have to agree. I would have the same problems you would. Besides the fact that I am not even close to flexible.

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  72. Your reasons are hilarious...and so accurate! I would totally be the person who farts, and you'd laugh at me! LOL. I much prefer the Barre Method, and its kinder to my gastric system! LOL

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  73. Hahaha! Love it! I tried yoga one time and felt very uncomfortable doing it. Me, I prefer Zumba or something low impact! This was hilarious and yes...I can see myself doing the same

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  74. I tried doing yoga. Everyone is going to yoga class right why not me. Wrong! First they need an old ladies yoga class and I will never bend like that again.

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  75. Hahaha. I've never been to an actual yoga class, but I've done yoga with dvd's and on demand. I kinda like it, but I'd never be able to go to class.

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  76. Haha love this post, I used to do Yoga and really liked it, but I don't think I could do it now - too old and stiff lol.

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  77. I like doing yoga but I have to do it at home. I LAUGH out loud at some of the phrases and the chanting. I just can't lol

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  78. While these are all valid reasons, I believe you have left one out. You have neglected to mention that Yoga is far too much like *cough* exercise. *cough* I hate exercise so much that it took me like 10 tries to spell it right and I gave up and let spell check correct it.

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  79. yoga is not my thing either. I would go to the gym or do some me form of exercise to keep myself healthy. Preferably, I would like to play tennis everyday.

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  80. I don't do yoga either. My issue is actually that I'm TOO flexible, so yoga is bad for me. It sounds crazy but it's true.

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  81. Ha ha, you are so funny! I can see this happening if I went to a yoga class. I tend to laugh at random and sometimes inappropriate times. I know people that love it for the relaxation of it.

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  82. I dont do Yoga but your post is hilarious. It cracked me up and changed my mood.
    Keep the good work coming in!

    XOXO
    Prajakta

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  83. It isnt my thing to but it's not bad to try. I'm interested of trying and we'll see if I'll be doing great this time!

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  84. I've just never had any interest at all in doing yoga. Simple as that! I'm sure it is a great activity for those who are into it though.

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  85. Yoga is not for everybody that's for sure and I love your reasons lol. I only do it once in a while, when I am very stressed out.

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  86. This is a funny post and I relate to a lot of the points you mentioned. I do yoga but only at home watching yoga videos. I'd be laughing a lot in a classroom, too!

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  87. I definitely laughed reading this - I enjoy yoga for the stretching and flexibility aspect, but get a little eye-rolly when it comes to the spiritual/woo-woo side of things!

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  88. I like yoga actually. The reason I don't do it anymore is because I don't have the time :(

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  89. I actually heard someone fart and as much as I wanted to conceal my laugh I just couldn't. Haven't done it in years.

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  90. Oh, I am so with you on the fart thing. I hate to say it, but it is funny!

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  91. I like yoga, but I only like hot yoga. "regular" yoga it too new age(y) for me. It makes me think of wind chimes and pan flutes.

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  92. I loved this post! I'm the same way. I've always wanted to do yoga but I'm a nervous giggler and not sure I would make it through.

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  93. Yoga farts are TOTALLY a thing, and they're hilarious! I think you should try laugh yoga - a legit practice, where you lie in a massive group circle and laugh for 45 minutes. Sounds ridiculous, but it's really cathartic. Plus... no butts and feet in the air haha.

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  94. I've thought about yoga, but haven't. I think it's one of those LOVE or HATE it.

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  95. These are greatness! And I have to admit, I'm not much of a yoga person either!

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  96. Now don’t laugh but I’ve never done yoga, and I do want to try this year.

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  97. I do a little bit of yoga at home. I would definitely burst out laughing if someone farted during a class.

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  98. Yoga is a form of a trend. I do know its a spiritual practice and I do believe myself to be a spirutual person but I too am not flexible so right now I havent adopted it for my spiritual journey.

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  99. I think it's funny when someone farts unexpectedly. Yoga is such a difficult task to do. Yeah sometimes we have that "epic fail" moments in yoga. It's really difficult!

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  100. My granddad is amazing at yoga & he always=ys pushes me to do it but after a few days I'm just like - I can;t do this, I'm more of a running & walking person.

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  101. I don't do yoga either. It's not for me. I did figure skate for quite a long time. xo, Suzanne

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  102. I keep laughing and laughing about this post. I do yoga but not everyday. I guess I am just so busy this past few weeks.

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