Monday, July 7, 2014

I Went To Trader Joe's For The First Time! (And Whole Foods.)

"I could really use a Diet Coke."

I looked around.

There was none to be found.

What store didn't carry Diet Coke?

Oh. Right.

I was in WHOLE FOODS. The place that I suspected might hiss and cross their fingers in my direction if I mentioned something with high fructose corn syrup.

But...I needed a Diet Coke. It's how I got my caffeine. I found the sodas Whole Foods carried and tried not to gasp when I noticed NONE of them had caffeine.

So I settled for this:

And it tasted like butthole.

I mean, okay, I'm exaggerating. For starters, I have not tasted butthole before and I'm sure there are worse tasting things (liver, for example, which I have tried...)

It had a strange off-putting taste. I smacked my lips together, once, twice, and it didn't help the flavor.

"Ginger Ale is supposed to be good," I said to Natalie, who was watching me curiously. I offered her a taste, and she made a face and told me it was "not good."

So sodas flavored with 100% cane sugar are not for me. Got it.

We were only in Whole Foods to eat in the cafe. Mom was curious about it. We ordered a pizza and while it was cooking, we wandered the store.

Naturally, I ended up in front of the bakery. Even though some things were vegan, I imagine they'd all still taste delicious.

I did not get anything though. My Mom was with me, and I do believe it worries her when I get so excited about junk food. See, I was not raised on junk food. Fruits and vegetables were always handed over as snacks, side dishes for school lunches, always offered with every parents insist that I believed fruit was candy, until a kid at school informed me that no, strawberries WERE NOT candy. So I'm sure Mom is like, "What HAPPENED?"

What happened is I discovered frosting. And Little Debbie snacks.


Whole Foods had interesting stuff. They had these nasty looking Kale block thingies. They had a tin that you could fill with cookies that I also wanted, but pretended I didn't, on account that I didn't want to worry my Mom. I found raw walnuts and figs and bean sprouts....

But Whole Foods wasn't the reason we were in the area: nope.

Mom was taking me to Trader Joe's for the first time. Of course I had heard about the store through friends and social media. I was excited to go.

When we entered the store, I immediately began searching the aisles. There were so many CHOCOLATE COVERED THINGS. If I were rich, I'd have placed each container in my cart. But the thing about Trader Joe's is, items are pricey. So I had to take deep breaths and remind myself to not buy everything, because we had things called bills.

I marveled at the pasta aisle.

I licked my chops at the sparkling juice aisle. Tom and I, we love sparkling juice, since we aren't really fans of wine.

I kept drooling over all the CHOCOLATE COVERED THINGS.

In the end, I bought these:

I like Trader Joe's. I'm a fan. I don't believe there is one in Oklahoma, although there should be, because I can almost bet that people from Oklahoma would appreciate CHOCOLATE COVERED THINGS.

Here's what I have problems with though: since I bought chocolate covered blueberries I think, these are healthy, so it's okay if I eat half the container. But they really aren't, despite the blueberries with their antioxidants. But a part of my brain is like, "It's okay, have another handful, blueberries help with the skin and VISION."

Natalie tried to TAKE my blueberries. At nearly $4 a container, I took them back and gave her a bag of Gushers.

So if you haven't been to Trader Joe's, I'd go.



  1. You're so funny! I loooove both stores! I do most of my grocery shopping between whole foods and tj's.

  2. Haha, your excuse for chocolate covered blueberries is perfectly valid!

  3. Hahahahah. If I was rich, I would buy everything from TJ's but, unfortunately, I'm not. Boooo.

  4. I love the chocolate covered potato chips!

  5. We have one an hour away. I've never stopped though. Maybe I should. I like chocolate covered things

  6. Hahaha I can picture it now, "No Natalie, these are Mom's 'special' berries!" I agree, I really like Trader Joe's, but they are pricey.

    PS Today is National Chocolate Day- I hope you celebrate accordingly!

  7. My husband was introduced to Whole Food this weekend. I have yet to go there. I read this funny Huff Post article about going there though, and I feel like it's something I need to do before I die.

  8. Trader Joes is just the right amount of healthy for me. Whole Foods? no. Exclusively for meat or if I feel like buying some nuts. But I need my sugar and chocolate to taste like sugar and chocolate. No fake outs please!

  9. Love Whole Foods. I'm there every weekend and Trader Joes is a weekly stop as well. yum!

  10. I've never been in a Whole Foods and only into a Trader Joes once - I'm behind the times!!!
    I think I would have been the same with those pricey chocolate covered blueberries!!

  11. I love Trader Joes! I wish there were one closer to me, but then again if there were I'd probably go all the time and that's not good HA!

  12. Our Trader Joe's is next to a Whole Foods too! And it's cheap, though! I spend a lot less at TJ's than other places. Now I want to go where you live! Or maybe it's just pricey, because like you had wanted to, I buy everything ever.

  13. I love TJ's! They are new to Texas and always have the best stuff. Glad you got to experience it but can't believe you didn't walk out with any infamous cookie butter!

  14. I don't do Whole Foods. It's too pricey for me. TJ's I love! It is pricey but it has some stuff that other places don't have that help me stick to my diet (when I decide to go on one!)

  15. I still haven't been to either of those stores. I like being able to afford gas and pay rent and such things.

  16. Let me boldly say " I am not fond of TJ's". That's right, I am a California girl who doesn't miss having them close by. But, I do lie about it from time to time. Because I don't want to have to explain my reasoning as to WHY, I don't like TJ's. Butthole tasting drinks is one reason why.

  17. Trader Joe's is one of my favorite places to shop! I don't really go there all that often, but when I do you better believe it is on! I really like their fresh salsas and guacamoles!

  18. We just got a Trader Joes in Orlando, so I'm excited to go once the crowds slow down a little! I'm not a fan of sodas with cane sugar either.

  19. Oof. I love both of these places too much (as in, I could go broke in under 10 minutes). The last time I went to WF, I was all, "all I need is an avocado and a mango" and somehow I walked away $40 lighter.

    I don't know how that happens.

    Trader Joe's is my favorite place to go grocery shopping. They just have such an awesome selection of THINGS (must try everything chocolate covered next time I'm in!)

  20. I did most my shopping there before we moved to this god awful, has nothing town. Their cereal and granola bars are the bomb freaking dot com!!
    I cry if I think about it too long. Yep, I cry over not having a Trader Joes.

  21. I have never had chocolate covered blueberries, but they really sound good! I've never been in either a whole foods or a trader joes...I'm pretty sure they are more interesting than the average grocery store. I HAVE been to plenty of chinese, korean, and mexican grocery stores--those definitely satisfy the the urge to look around and see what kinds of new and different foods exist. (I usually don't feel like trying them, though)

  22. There's a similar place right down the street from us... Pete and I could literally spend an entire DAY browsing that place! We're like kids in a candy store!


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