The Name Game

Tom calls the baby "fetus."

He'll put his head against my stomach and say, "Hello little fetus. How are you?" Then he'll fall silent and ask, "Is that the baby or your stomach I'm hearing?"

I always tell him I hope it's my stomach. Because if the baby is growling we have a problem.

Sometimes he'll rub my stomach and tell the fetus hello.

"Are you letting Mommy eat today?" he'll ask.

Yesterday the answer was yes. I was able to have oatmeal, pizza, a fruit cup and a bowl of tomato soup. The stir fry I wanted to make was out of the question because by dinner time, the thought of putting beef into my mouth was enough to make me sick.

I made Tommy mac and cheese. The poor kid, he's been surviving off of frozen foods, sandwiches or the aforementioned mac and cheese. I just can't cook a proper meal. The smells alone would get me. And what would I do if something is cooking over the stovetop and I suddenly have to run out and throw up?

I don't even bother to attempt it.

I've already apologized to Tom. He understands. I wish he could cook but his culinary skills include frozen pizza and...well frozen pizza. He can make spaghetti, if pressed, and he's even prepared a few bowls of mac and cheese on his own. But ask him to make chicken and he gets this blank look on his face followed by, "How?" If I hand him a recipe he'll twist it around and around in his fingers, baffled, until he finally looks up and says, "Um. I'm not understanding.."

I wish we had a cook.

Or a maid. Our poor kitchen needs one.

Some people have asked what we plan on calling this baby in utero. Tommy was called Noodle. Nothing is popping up with this one. Other than "fetus." Or maybe I'll call it BabyTwo.

As for proper names?

For a girl I like Aurora Elizabeth. We'd call her Rory. (Gilmore Girls rocks.)

A boy?

Hah.

Tom and I can't agree.

I asked Tommy what we should name the baby and he said (what else?) C-3PO. I explained that the poor child would be teased mercilessly and did he possibly have another name.

"Waffle!"

Waffle. From the show Catscratch.

Obviously both men in my family are clueless about boy names. Tom is stuck on the name Kevin. Which reminds me of some 80s kid with a mowhawk.

*Sighs*