Sunday, April 8, 2007

New Parent Visit

I will be so grateful when my daughter decides to sleep on her own.

Without the aid of someone holding her.

I've even pleaded with her: "Darling, Mommy loves to hold you, don't get me wrong, but during the night can you PLEASE please sleep on your own? Look at these beautiful sheets Mommy got you. Aren't they lovely? Now now, don't start crying, Mommy will be right beside you, I promise. I'll sleep on the couch, I'm less than ten feet away from you. Now how about it?"

*Places Natalie down*

Natalie's eyes snap open. At least now she doesn't start wailing right away. No, she gazes around in confusion, like, "Um why am I down here? Someone is supposed to be holding me at all times." She grunts for a few minutes and then finally...



I had someone from the New Parent Program come on Thursday.

Technically I am not a new parent but I figured it would be nice to have someone stop by. Whenever they stop by they weigh the baby so I figured at least I'd know if she was gaining properly.


The woman, who is a nurse, stopped by at one and she was very nice.

She weighed Natalie first..and Natalie IS gaining. She's at 7 lbs 11 oz now.

Then the nurse, called Megan, got down to business. She pulled out some papers and said she had to ask me some questions first.

"How is your discharge?" she asked without batting an eyelash.

I'm sure I blushed.

Even though we had been introduced it still felt like, "Hello my name is Amber and you are??????"

I mean discharge!

What a question.

I told her it was lightened.

Then she continued with, "And how are your bowels?"


She means POOP.

She's asking about my POOP.

"Um...bowels are fine.." I said.

"The reason I ask is some people have problems with their bowels," Megan said cheerfully, marking something down on her paper.

Then she asked more questions. Questions like, was I happy, did I feel we had enough money to provide the kids, was my spouse supportive...

Things like that.

One question was, "How is your intimacy?"

I was all, "Oh well poor Tom he hasn't gotten any in awhile.."

Megan laughed and went, "Oh I mean as in holding each other, being emotionally available.."


I had just admitted to a near perfect stranger that my husband hasn't been getting any sex!

I was asked how breastfeeding was going and all of that.

Then Megan asked, "And how is she sleeping? Does she sleep at least three hour stretches at night for you?"


I explained that my little darling only slept when someone held her and it was usually only for two hours, sometimes two and a half.

"Oh my," Megan said. "Well babies can't be spoiled after all.."

True true.

But it would be nice if she slept on her own.

Anyhow she said on our next visit she'll teach me about infant massage, which has been known to help with gas issues.

My Mom leaves tomorrow.


How I'm going to get sleep in is beyond me. I mean Tom says he'll help, and I'm sure he will, but he doesn't get that he has to HOLD Natalie for two hours so I can sleep. What he usually does is hold her for a half hour to an hour and then set her down. Of course she wakes up and then he comes and gets me because she usually wants to eat.

So today I'm telling him that he has to hold her until she wakes up unless he wants a very cranky wife. I don't CARE if he wants to move around or play his computer games. I don't CARE if he barely gets any time off. He needs to keep his butt on the couch and hold her or else I will surely have a break down.

Granted he has been much better with Natalie than he was with Tommy. He barely did a thing with Tommy. I did it all. He barely held him unless I forced him to. With Natalie he offers to take her. But if she starts crying he says, "Okay back to Mama.." Which is annoying because HELLO, try different things to stop her from crying, don't just pass her back to me! In fact when she started crying one time I purposely went into the bathroom so Tom could handle it. Tom's idea to get her to stop crying was to lay her on his chest and just pat her back over and over. Obviously this wasn't working as she kept crying so I burst out of the bathroom and went, "Tom you have to move her into different positions, don't just keep her in one and expect her to stop crying!"


But seriously, he is much better this time. He does take her so I can eat and such.

Well I better go, Natalie finally fell asleep on my chest. (Which is how I wrote this.) I'm going to TRY and put her down and get some sleep.

Happy Easter!

I'll write more about that tomorrow if I get a chance to get on.


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