The Cheese to my Macaroni

Rawr.

Earlier today we went downtown to pick up some donuts at this local shop.

When we pulled up Mom went, "It's closed," and I honestly thought she was joking because it was her way of saying, "Eww donuts, too fatty, stay away!"

But I looked up and sure enough the closed sign was slapped against the door with the explaination of: "Ran out of donuts for the day. Sorry."

Ran out of donuts?

Here's an interesting concept: how about you make some more?

I mean honestly.

I guess that's what I get for enjoying a tiny local donut shop.

Instead we stopped in for ice cream. I asked for a strawberry citrus drink. Tom walked in with me wanting the same drink and when we walked out he was all, "I think the guy made us strawberry banana smoothies. I saw him throw a banana in the blender."

Um.

I took a sip and sure enough it was a strawberry banana smoothie.

Why didn't Tom speak up in the store?

Why won't he grow a pair and speak up?

I mean the smoothie was good enough but what I really wanted was a strawberry citrus. I suppose I could have marched back in and demanded the proper drink but at that point the guy was helping someone else and I didn't want to wait.

Anyhow.

Yesterday wasn't much better.

Tom and I were planning on going on a movie date. It took us forever to come up with a movie we could agree on.

He wanted to see Vantage Point and I said no thank you.

Then he mentioned Jumper and I said no thank you.

"But that Hayden dude is in it," he said. "I know you have a thing for him."

I do but it's not my type of movie. I'm not a teenager anymore, I don't just go watch movies with my celebrity crush in it if I don't like the genre. (I did this with Elijah Wood movies when I was younger.)

"I'll see Definately, Maybe ," I said with a grin.

Tom made a face. "I'm not sitting through a girl movie."

"I'm not sitting through a boy movie," I said firmly.

Finally I noticed that Juno was still showing.

"There's Juno," I suggested, thinking Tom would turn it down.

Instead he shrugged. "I'll see that I guess."

So finally we agreed on the movie. We decided on the 5:05 showing.

But guess what?

Two hours before we were set to leave his work called him in.

Something happened with Tom's troops.

I was livid.

"Tell them you have plans," I snapped.

"They don't care," Tom responded.

"But maybe if you mention that you have plans they'll be compassionate and--"

"They don't CARE, Amber. Jana, please explain to your daughter how the military works," Tom said sharply.

Mom gave me a sorrowful look and said gently that the Air Force didn't really care about families.

Of course I KNEW that but geez..we rarely get to go out just the two of us.

Maybe if I saw Tom sticking up for his family for once, maybe just mentioning us--"Sir, of course I'll come in but would it be possible if I can get out at 4:30 since I have a date planned with my wife"--just something like that, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

But Tom just takes everything.

And he didn't even seem upset, that also disturbed me.

He just calmly pulled on his uniform. Maybe if I saw some emotion from him--"Dammit, I just wish I could go out with my wife" then maybe it wouldn't have been so bad.

So he left.

4:30 rolled around and he still wasn't home. I called his cell phone.

"Give me ten minutes," he barked and then hung up.

I waited ten minutes.

No Tom.

I waited five more.

No Tom.

I decided to go on my own.

I was near tears as I left the house. My cell phone rang as I backed up. I stopped the car (look irritating cell phone drivers, here's a concept--STOP THE CAR when your phone rings or don't answer it!) and answered.

"Just go ahead without me. I'll try to make it but no promises," Tom said and then hung up.

A few tears slipped down my cheeks as I slipped my phone in my purse.

Stupid Air Force I continued to think as I drove along.

I mean I do love the military life but it's so aggrivating how they honestly could give a rats ass about the family.

I know, I know, they'd issue you a family if they wanted you to have one.

I hate that phrase.

I made it to the cinema and hardly anyone was in there.

It was a bit strange.

When I walked into my theatre number room there were only two other people in there.

Then the previews started.

Still no Tom.

Then the movie started.

Weird, Juno is drinking a lot of Sunny D.

And OH, it's Dwight from The Office!!

Then someone walked in.

Tom!

He had a nachos and some soda in his hands.

I had told him that I'd sit in the aisle so he spotted me right away.

The movie was entertaining enough. I doubt I'd buy the DVD but it was enjoyable to watch once. To think a former stripper wrote the screenplay.

It's obvious that I'm Gymboree obsessed because I spotted the Gymboree bag twice in the movie. The first time I was all excited.

"Look Tom, Gymboree!" I said, gesturing.

The bag was sitting in Jennifer Garner's living room.

Then it appeared again when she was at the mall. It would be awesome to have a rich friend who gave Gymboree to my kids. If I were rich I'd totally buy Gymboree for my friends.

I did like that they used an actual newborn in the movie. It really bugs me when they try to pass three month olds as a newborn.

I understand about the child labor law and all--I think newborns can be on screen for like two minutes which is like two seconds in movie time since they need lighting and all that fun stuff. But still. Get a small baby or something, it really distracts me when the baby is obviously not a newborn.

However it bugged me when Juno's water just suddenly broke. It RARELY happens that way. But in a lot of movies pregnant people will just be strolling along and BAM, there goes their water.

My water was broken by the doctor each time.

Tom said that the movie was "interesting" which means he liked it okay.

It's a better response than "what the crap was that?"

That would be his response when we watched Knocked Up.

I did tell Tom that he was the cheese to my macaroni. In the movie that's how Juno describes the man she loves.

Tom raised an eyebrow at me and went, "Uh thanks. You're the um, root to my beer.."

I guess that's his version of being romantic??

Okay so then we get home and Natalie is actually not crying. Awesome.

Of course the minute she saw me she cried.

It's my punishment I guess.

Then later it was bedtime and I was looking forward to Lost.

However, Natalie started screaming in bed.

I checked on her and she was covered in vomit.

Luckily I had paused the TV (DVR rocks--or so I thought) so I got her cleaned up.

She finally went back to sleep so I pushed the play button--and my TV just gave me a black screen.

I began to panic.

What happened to my beloved Lost??

I kept pressing play and nothing.

I probably would have totally freaked out had my mom not have been sitting beside me. I didn't want her to think that she raised a potty mouth for a daughter.

Instead I went, "What's going ON?"

For the first few minutes.

When it was obvious that Lost wasn't going to be coming back on I threw the remote on the couch and called it a total piece of shit.

Then I quickly apologized to my Mom.

"I'm sorry Mom. But it is. It's a total piece of SHIT!"

Mom didn't seem to mind. "It's okay. I'd be aggrivated too," she said.

I called the cable company and they told me to unplug the power cord and re-plug it back in.

And guess what?

The DVR started working again.

"I missed Lost," I angrily told the person.

"I'm sorry.." she said, a little confused.

"Now I have to download it on the computer. Stupid DVR," I fumed.

"Ma'am, I do apologize, but this rarely happens.."

"It better not," I snapped. Then I felt rude so I went, "I'm sorry. I was just really looking forward to watching Lost."

"It's okay, ma'am. Is there anything else I can help you with?" Her tone of voice sounded like she wanted to add, "Please no. I just want to hang up with you you psycho Lost fan.."

So yes, now I have to download it online.

I only got to see the first few minutes with Desmond going ape shit wondering where he was and who everyone was.

*Growls*

Right now I'm typing this with Natalie on my lap. Usually she entertains herself for at least five to ten minutes but now if I set her down she flips out.

So she's pretty much been attached to me all day.

Tomorrow we're all going to the mall and then Kohls so that should be fun.

I'm off to go start dinner. We're having spaghetti.

Then I might make brownies or cookies since we didn't get donuts.

Mom will probably be all, "How decadent.." she uses that word a lot when I talk about junk food. *Laughs* It amuses me..

A Date with the Husband

Mom is visiting!

So yesterday Tom and I were able to go on our date.

I was worried on how Natalie would be considering that she tends to flip out if I leave the room.

Tom and I went to Coldstone for dessert.

I got a waffle bowl of course. I think it amuses the workers that I always ask for a chocolate dipped waffle bowl with SPRINKLES.

Yes, I am 25 and I still love sprinkles. The colored ones.

I got the flavor called Our Strawberry Blond. I believe it was strawberry ice cream, graham cracker bits, strawberry chunks, fudge and caramel.

It was delicious.

I got the smallest scoop--the like it.

Tom got the love it.

Which makes NO sense because he never finishes it all. I wonder if he gets the bigger size because he thinks it's not macho to order the small size? I've no idea but it irks me because he NEVER finishes all his ice cream. I'm all, "You know, you CAN get the like it, you don't have to get the LOVE it.." But he's all, "I'd rather have too much than too little." The problem is he almost always gets too much of something and lets the rest go to waste.

(I'd have eaten it but after eating all my ice cream and most of my bowl I was full.)

It also irks me that when I try to have a conversation I get either grunts or a one word answer.

Hello man, we're out ALONE. With no kids vying for our attention. Let's talk! Let's have an ADULT conversation and marvel over the fact that we don't have to bring up Cookie Monster or talk in an irritating high pitched voice to keep the baby from crying.

I kept trying to start a conversation.

I think I asked how work was going.

"Good," he answered.

Um.

"How is it good?" I pressed.

A shrug. "It just is."

I felt like I was talking to a teenager, honestly.

Those used to be my responses when Mom asked how school was.

"Fine," I'd reply, itching to get away so I could go chat.

"Explain it to me," Mom would say.

"It was VERY fine," I'd say thinking I was the shit for coming up with such a witty response.

I expect that from teenagers. They can be a surly bunch.

But I expect actual sentences from my life partner for goodness sakes!

"Isn't this ice cream delicious?" I raved. "I love when you can eat your own bowl. That's so exciting to me!"

Tom cocked an eyebrow at me. Probably thinking, I'm here with my adult wife who is raving about an edible bowl.

"How is your ice cream?" I asked, gesturing to his bowl.

"Good," came the one worded response.

Have we run out of things to say or what?

Sometimes he can be incredibly chatty.

But apparently he wasn't at all in Coldstone.

After we ate--I ended up having a one sided conversation chattering on about different things--we headed off to Target to get Tommy's last birthday present.

It was a Jungle Book set as he's been loving the movie lately.

Tom found a DVD that he wanted--something called Snatch which did not look good at all.

Then he started opening his mouth. "Oh it's an excellent movie, so much crap goes on and.."

He prattled on for like five minutes.

But heaven forbid if he talks to me about his WORK.

I did find the book I wanted. I picked it up off the shelf, hugged it to my chest and proclaimed it to be mine.

I love books.

Then we checked out and Tom announced that he wanted a pretzel from the mall.

"How?" I asked. "I'm stuffed from the ice cream and most of my bowl."

"Ice cream never fills me up," was his response.

It would had he FINISHED it all.

So off to the mall we went.

When we got out of the truck at the mall Tom actually did something romantic.

He took hold of my hand.

"You girls love holding hands, don't you?" he asked.

"I do. When you have kids you're holding THEIR hands. It's nice to hold your partners," I said.

Of course we passed by Gymboree.

And I swear, I wasn't going to go in.

But Tom, TOM was all, "Don't you want to go in?"

"I better not," I said. "The store is evil and I have a problem."

"Oh go in. You know you want to," Tom challenged.

Seriously, I wonder if he's testing me sometimes.

Obviously I failed because I flounced right in the store with Tom at my heels. He was either thinking, "Holy hell that backfired! My wallet!" or, "Finally. Geez. What's her problem?"

I found an outfit I wanted.

Plus some shoes that I had been looking for in the clearance bin. I happily dug through it and went, "I FOUND them in her size!" I held them up like a trophy or like that 80s movie with Molly Ringwald when that boy holds up the panties--and Tom just shook his head at me.

I spent $39, which is a record for me in Gymboree.

Then the worker was all," Did you want a Gymbuck? If so you need to spend this much more.." and showed me the chart.

NO.

"Um," I said weakly. I tossed a look to Tom. Come on Tom, tell me NO. Tell me Natalie has ENOUGH. TELL ME, TELL ME!

"Get what you want," was his response.

He's really lucky that I don't take advantage of that. Luckily I have some willpower so I weakly told the worker that I didn't need anything else. Even though my brain was all, "A GYMBUCK. You could use another GYMBUCK. Get the GYMBUCK! You only have ONE. You need another one, right.."

Nooo brain! Piss off!

After I paid I hightailed it out of there so I wouldn't change my mind.

We went home after that.

We were only gone for about an hour.

When we stepped inside I didn't hear crying so I took that as a good sign.

Natalie was on the floor playing with her toys with Mom beside her. When she saw me she immediately burst into tears and lifted her arms up.

For shame you bad woman! How dare you leave me!

I scooped her up and asked Mom how she was.

"She cried at first," Mom admitted. "But I walked her around the house and she fell asleep. She would look at me and squish her eyes shut as though wishing me away. Finally I guess she figured if she fell asleep that I'd go away. But I didn't let her sleep for more than a half hour. I woke her up, she got upset but then I gave her a bath and she was happy again. Then we came down here and she didn't cry much."

Ahh good.

An exciting thing that happened though was that Natalie pointed to the ceiling fan. She had never pointed before so we were all excited.

"She pointed! She pointed!" we were all saying.

Yes, when you have a baby, little things like that matter.

Mom noticed that I bought clothes and went, "Amber, I do believe you have a problem. Natalie's closet is stuffed with clothes folded on the bottom!"

Er..

I guess she hasn't seen the two drawers stuffed with clothes too.

Granted she can't fit into them ALL now. They're a mixture of sizes.

Today Tom and I are going on another date today since he works Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

We're going to see a movie.

I'll write more on that tomorrow.

I'm thrilled because I love movie theatre popcorn. Dripping with butter. It always baffles me when people ask for NO butter. Then the popcorn tastes like salted stryofoam!

Must have butter!

I'm Offended

Okay so on this forum that I write on, there was a thread started on what offends people.

Basically it started because there are some people on the forum who get easily offended. For instance, someone wrote OMG and a few people got their panties in a bunch because they didn't want the Lord's name taken in vain. Even though it was just OMG. Some people pointed out that OMG meant "Oh my GOODNESS" to them and not God. But some people were still offended.

This turned into a mini-debate and then someone started the thread on what offends people. Of course it turned into fun and games with people saying things like, "I'm offended when someone cuts me off while driving," and then the people who were offended by the OMG comment got offended by the thread because they felt that others were making fun of them.

It was a big headache, really. People need to chill out.

So today's entry is going to be on what offends me. And yes, it will be silly.

----

I'm offended that Tom called me in the middle of Lost last night. There I was all engrossed in Kate's story and then the phone rings. I was debating not answering but Tom is irritating and continues to call until I pick up. He says he starts to panic that something has happened to us. I think a part of him panics that perhaps I invited a male over and am doing the nasty with said male on his couch. Which I could never do since I have this irritating thing called a conscience. Anyhow I answered the phone and barked out, "What? I'm watching Lost and I can't miss anything because then I can miss a key part in the episode. I—wait a minute, I have DVR now. I can pause. Tom, I just PAUSED the TV!" Tom thought I was a bit too excited over this.

I'm offended that Regis and Kelly did not pick Natalie as their Beautiful Baby winner. I really think the contest is rigged.

I'm offended when companies continue to release tasty treats that I am unable to turn down. Of course I had to try the Sara Lee cheesecake bites. And I had to try that Starbucks hot chocolate that was just sitting on the shelf waiting for me to toss it into the cart.

I'm offended by shows like Lipstick Jungle that pretty much say that if you have a boring marriage that it's okay to have an affair. It's really not. It's actually called adultery.

I'm offended when people don't support the military. Please by all means, if you can do it better go ahead.

I'm offended when people tell me that I should just buy my children's clothing at Wal-Mart or Target and that I'm wasting my money on Gymboree. Excuse me, when I start using YOUR money to pay for MY children's clothing, then you can open your yapper. By the way, I do get some of their clothes at Wal-Mart or Target. I just find I prefer the quality at Gymboree. I find Wal-Mart clothes tend to fade or shrink.

I'm offended when a site won't load for me. I immediately start to panic thinking that it's my computer and it always turns out that it was just the site. (Like when OD was down. I was positive it was my computer and went into a panic and restarted it like three times before I realized it was the site. Oops.)

I'm offended when I can't squeeze into my size 3 pants from high school. Dang hips! (And thighs!)

I'm offended that Lost won't give any answers. I am terribly impatient. I couldn't believe the ending of last night's episode. How? Why?

I'm offended that the military didn't station us in Hawaii. I think we deserve the nice weather after enduring Nebraska, England and now Wyoming. Plus I need to stalk the Lost set before the show ends. I'll be Creepy FanGirl Who Needs To Know Answers.

I'm offended when all I get in the mail are bills.

I'm offended that I still manage to either spill food or my drink on a daily basis. Shouldn't the awkward/clumsy phase have disappeared after I finished being a teenager?

I'm offended by the junk that airs on the television and movies. If I wanted to watch people have sex, I'd have rented a porn.

I'm offended when people assume that I'm "taking the easy way out" when I give my son medication for his ADHD. I think if those people really spent a week with Tommy without his medication that they'd understand.

I'm offended that one of the top stories on The Today Show was the fact that Jennifer Lopez gave birth to twins. Does anyone even care? Isn't there a, I don't know, WAR going on?

I'm offended that enough people watched that horrible show Carrie and Bruno Dance Wars or something like that and that there is going to be a second season? What the crap? I found it a waste of air space.

I actually AM offended when someone cuts me off while driving.

I'm offended that on The Tudors they made King Henry's illegitimate son die at a young age. This did not really happen. He died at 17 from consumption apparently. It irked me that on the show they made him die at around the age of three from the sweating sickness. I even shouted out, "That's not right!" I think they did it on the show to show his dire need to have a son though.

I do believe that's everything that I find offensive these days.

Later I'm going to Once Upon a Child to bring in some of Tommy's old clothes and the rest of my maternity items.

I guess in a way I'm offended that they totally rip you off there. *Grins*

It's Shiny

Look what (finally) I have:



For those who are baffled, that would be a DVR box.

Though I didn't get it yesterday like expected.

Here's what happened: I called up our provider before we left to make sure all we needed was our old cable box. I don't trust just listening to one person. I'm one of those people who needs the person on the other end to confirm appointments. For instance when I make Natalie's weight check appointments I always repeat: "So it's at ten in the morning on the twelfth, right?" Just to make sure that the person on the other end didn't write down something else.

So I called them up and was suddenly told, "Oh you need to call that in ahead of time. If you go in now, there won't be a box for you."

Okay. No one had TOLD me that.

I was thankful that I had called. I'd have been livid if I had gone into the office and was told that I needed to call it in and get an order number.

I was told that a box would be ready for me the next day after noon.

So I had to wait yet another day for my DVR.

"So it's easy to set up?" Tom kept repeating as we drove to our providers office.

"Yes. I was told it was very easy," I assured him.

"Nothing is ever as easy as they say," Tom grumbled as he parked.

I ran into the office with our old box and was given the new box.

"It's so shiny!" I said. Oops. I totally meant to think that.

The lady on the other side of the desk cocked an eyebrow at me as she set my new (shiny) box down. Apparently not many of her customers make proclaimations like that on a daily basis. I might have even been her first.

(But it WAS shiny. Our old box was black!)

"Sign here," the lady said, sliding a piece of paper at me. "This shows you switched your boxes out."

She probably wanted to add, "You psycho customer, you."

I signed and then she asked me if I had the proper cables to get HDTV.

"Um." Insert blank stare from me. My mouth probably even dropped open in confusion. Cords? Huh?

The lady rolled her eyes slightly. "I'll give you some." She wandered into the back and returned with some cords. "Okay so you plug this into the box to the TV instead of the coax."

Seriously she called one cord a coax. Or something that began with a c.

I still stared at her with confusion.

What I wanted to ask was, "What the hell is a coax cord?"

"Um. So I plug this in instead of that other cord?" I asked.

The lady nodded. "Yes. Otherwise the HD won't work."

"Um."

We stared at each other for a few seconds.

The lady clearly wanted to say, "Begone you psycho, begone."

"If I have problems I can call.." I finally finished.

"Yes," the lady assured me, relieved that I was about to move on.

I gathered my new box. Hello pretty DVR, hello!

"Do I get instructions on how to use this?" I wondered. I realized she hadn't given me any.

Now it was the lady's turn to look baffled. Instructions? What are these instructions in which you speak of?

"It's pretty easy," she said using a tone that made me feel like a complete moron.

"I know but I've been known to hit buttons and screw things up," I said with a chuckle.

The lady didn't even crack a smile. She just stared at me.

We did the staring game for a few seconds.

Apparently there WERE no instructions because she didn't move into the back room again. Instead she said, "Give us a call if you have problems," and then faced her computer screen.

My cue that this conversation was over.

So I walked out with my brand new DVR box.

Tom noticed the new cords on top and sighed.

"I told you! I told you it wasn't as easy. What are these?" he waved them in the air.

"To get HD in our TV I guess," I answered.

"You GUESS?" Tom let out a long string of air.

When we got home he immediately started to try and set it up.

It wasn't working right.

The cable wouldn't turn on.

"I TOLD you!" he boomed. "I plugged it in like the other one and surprise surprise, it's not coming up. I TOLD you!"

So I had to call up our provider.

It turned out he put two of the plugs in the wrong area.

The guy on the other end helped us. Then I asked how we knew if the HDTV was working. He told me to go to the channel and see.

I did.

"Can you tell a difference?" he asked.

I really couldn't. Then I realized I was on HDTBS.

"Go to a sports channel," he said.

I did and..

Wow crystal clear.

"It's so CLEAR and shiny!" I said cheerfully. There I go using that SHINY word again.

This guy at least chuckled.

So our TV is working again. I haven't tried to record because I am confused. If I want to look things up, what do I do? Or do I just find the show I want and hit the record button?? Where do my stored recorded shows go? How do I bring them up?

And if I pause a show and I want to be caught up to what the station is on do I hit the LIVE button?

Why did they not give me instructions??

I'm worried I'm going to screw something up.

Tonight I don't have to use it because I only watch Big Brother. So I don't have another show on at the same time.

Tomorrow I will need it because I think the new America's Next Top Model starts and so does something else I watch. How do I record the other show?

**Is completely baffled**

Another IEP Meeting

So on Thursday I went to Tommy's IEP meeting at the school.

I had to wake up Tom before I left because he was watching Natalie.

Waking up Tom is always such an enjoyable task. <--Sarcasm.

For starters, it can take awhile for him to even respond. The man could sleep soundly through an explosion and wake up hours later going, "Oh man. What blew up?"

I usually stroke his arm and say, "Tom? It's time to wake up."

I started stroking his arm and nothing happened. Tom continued to lay all sprawled out.

"Tom?" I hissed. "It's time to wake up."

I said this close to his ear.

He lifted his head up slightly. "Huh?" His eyes were still closed.

"It's time to wake up. I have to go to Tommy's IEP meeting. You need to watch Natalie," I explained. I walked to the other side of the bed and deposited Natalie beside Tom.

She immediately looked offended. How dare you set me down? What is WRONG with you? She started to whine, which helped Tom's eyes slowly open.

"Mmmmm," he complained. "I'm exhausted."

Whenever he says that I want to smother him with a pillow. I don't even think he knows what the word exhausted even means.

Max the cat joined in on the task of waking Tom up. He leaped on the bed and promptly attacked Tom's feet.

"Okay, okay," Tom grumbled. He sat up in bed and scratched his head.

I gave him a quick kiss on his cheek and then kissed Natalie, who was still whining.

Someone, anyone, pick me up, pick me up, pick me up!

I left a few minutes later.

Of course I was nervous. I didn't know what to expect. It's always a little daunting to walk into a room filled with women who are all there to help your son. Plus the principal, who knows Tommy well. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. My principal never knew me. I never had any problems in school. Perhaps if I did this wouldn't seem so foreign to me.

When I got to the school I signed in and then went to pick up Tommy. I had warned him not to get on the bus because I was going to pick him up for a meeting.

"Again?" Tommy asked with a sigh.

"Yes again. The meeting is to help you," I explained.

I walked down to his classroom and he was waiting in the hall.

"Mom!" he said cheerfully when he saw me.

You see? He's happy. He's not crying. Does anyone else see this? He's not crying at school.

He rushed down and gave me a hug. "Mom, look at what I got." He dug through his backpack and pulled out a small toy car.

"What did you get that for?" I asked.

"For being good!" he told me cheerfully.

I know his teacher does this chart for him. If he has enough happy moments, he gets to chose a toy and get an award.

"That's a cool car," I told him.

"Yeah," Tommy said with a smile.

"How about we go to the meeting?"

"Okay," he agreed.

I took hold of his hand and we walked down the hall. I saw other students leaving the school, backpacks draped over their shoulders.

How is he going to be when he gets older? Is he always going to have problems?

We went into the office and waited a few minutes before the school pscyhologist walked in.

"Hi Tommy," she said cheerfully.

"Look!" Tommy said, showing her his car.

"That's neat!" she said. Then she looked at me. "You can come on back now."

I gathered Tommy's things and we walked back.

I took a seat in the familiar chair in the room I had grown so accustomed to.

A few minutes later everyone had filtered inside.

The school psychologist asked Tommy's teacher to explain what she had been seeing.

"Tommy has been crying all day," she began. "It's gotten to the point where he shouts and screams. I have to take him to the office and leave the room full of kids." She looked almost apologetic as she said it.

The principal, who was sitting beside me nodded. "So you see Amber, I don't feel comfortable with a teacher leaving a classroom of children. I worry about their safety. It just breaks my heart to see Tommy so upset. He's usually with me in the office for a good portion of the day."

Not even six and he's already in the principals office.

"Also," the teacher continued. "The past few days I've caught his hands south of the border."

It took me a few seconds to process what she was saying.

South of the border..south of the..

And then I understood.

My kid was fondling himself.

"So he's been masturbating," the school psychologist said bluntly. She scribbled something down.

Tommy, Tommy, what in the world...

He does it at home sometimes and I always stop him.

"That's private, Tommy," I always tell him.

Of course he's probably confused. He sees his Daddy happily scratching his balls and his package even though I've explained to Tom that he needs to stop it.

I suppose it could be worse. I hear about kids exposing themselves in class. At least he keeps it tucked away.

Basically he's going to be in the resource room more often. He does well there. He seems to thrive in smaller groups. When he's in a large classroom he tends to cry and flip out if things are different. The teacher was saying that she moved a poster to the other side of the room and Tommy couldn't stop talking about it.

"The poster is wrong!" he kept saying.

He'll still receive all the same work as the "regular" classroom. He'll still attend the "regular" classroom during storytime and small group activities.

But then came the part I was dreading.

"We feel Tommy would benefit from a half day of Kindergarten," the school psychologist said. "It seems the whole day is too much for him."

Of course I started with my arguments.

"I'm worried he'll get behind," I explained.

I was told that he'd still get the same work, that the afternoons are basically art, music and PE anyhow. Plus they used to be speech for him but that's moved up to the morning anyhow.

"He enjoys computer and show and tell," I added. Both of which are in the afternoon.

The teacher promised that he could do show and tell in the morning. She'd allow him to stand up and explain his toy. She said he tends to get upset at show and tell anyhow. If he's not called on right away he cries.

Also, he could do computer in the resource room in the mornings. The same exact program.

I asked if he could just spend more time in the resource room in the afternoon. He can't because the afternoons are for the older children and the teacher wouldn't be able to focus on Tommy. Sometimes Tommy needs reminders to finish his work since he tends to get distracted.

I asked if half days had to be permanent.

"No," the school psychologist said. "First we'd gradually give him more classroom time in the morning. If he does well there then we'd extend his afternoon time."

Tommy has an ADHD appointment on the 11th. That is where I'm going to discuss getting him on Vyvanse. Hopefully this medication helps.

He obviously needs the medication. Last week I only sent him to school on 5 MGs of Ritalin.

He didn't cry as much but he wasn't able to get his work done. He would rock in his seat, tap his legs and barely finished any of his tasks. Sometimes he'd even get out of his seat and distract the other children.

On his meds, he's able to get his work done.

But he cries more. And he seems almost too quiet when he's not crying, that is.

So we need to find a balance. And I have done a lot of research on Vyvanse. It helps ADHD children who are emotional.

I asked what his chances are of going onto first grade.

"Right now it seems he'd be fine academically," Tommy's teacher said. "He can do all the work. Just socially and emotionally he'd have problems. But if we can help him now and set up a behavior plan then he'd probably be fine."

I'm just worried that because he's only going half day that it's going to hurt him. I mean how is he going to be graded on PE, art and music if he's not even there? That's another question I need to ask.

I imagine it wouldn't be a problem seeing as this is Kindergarten. A lot of Kindergartens are only half day anyhow.

But still.

I agreed to let Tommy go half day since they promised he'd still be doing everything the class was doing. They all seem to want to help him.

The school psychologist did ask if she could do some tests with him. I had to sign a permission slip for that.

After the meeting I explained to Tommy that he'd be coming home in the afternoons.

"Okay," he said.

He didn't even seem to mind.

By the way, a bus drops him off. I could have picked him up but it would mess up Natalie's schedule. Plus I'd like to save my gas.

He came home early today. No problems. He just walked in and went, "Oh hi Mom."

The teacher did send him with some work which we'll be finishing up.

I just want my boy to succeed.