Monday, July 6, 2009

The Wake Up Call

The alarm went off at five in the morning because I had promised to see my husband off as he left Texas to drive to our home in Wyoming.

I had no idea what the sound was at first. The room was pitch black and I was sound asleep and suddenly a shrill noise filled the room. In my half asleep mind the trilling was coming from the middle of the bed so I started smacking it with my eyes still shut.

"It's the alarm!" came Tom's garbled speech.

I kept wacking the middle of the bed. My mind just wasn't computing.

"It's the ALARM!" Tom tried again, sitting straight up. The alarm was on my side of the bed since there was a plug nearby. He reached over me and switched it off.

I paused in abusing the bed as Tom turned on the lamp.

Ack light! There should not be light at five in the morning. He got up and headed for the shower. I don't know how he can immediately get out of bed at five in the morning.

I stayed in bed until Tom finished with the shower. He came out to dress and looked at me funny.

"Why do you have one eye opened and one eye closed?"

Huh?

Oh.

I forced the other eye open.

"Are you coming?" Tom asked as he headed for the bedroom door.

No.

This is what I wanted to say. I wanted to curl up and go back to sleep. But I made myself sit up and shuffle over to Tom.

"You're walking like you have a stick up your--" Tom started.

He stopped when he saw the expression on my face. I imagine it looked crazed. I don't handle early mornings well.

I plopped myself on the couch as Tom gathered the last of his things.

"Remember don't use the upstairs toilet," I reminded him. My voice came out all scratchy and startled me. I sounded like an old lady who smoked a pack of cigarettes each day.

"I know," Tom said, rolling his eyes. I know he likes to act annoyed when I tell him things but the truth is, if I don't he'll forget.

A few minutes later Tom said he had everything and he was leaving.

I didn't move from the couch.

I had sort of gone into a daze.

"Hello?" Tom said, waving his hand in front of my face.

I jumped.

Tom pulled me up and I shuffled behind him outside.

"Geez. It's even hot at five in the morning," I grumbled.

Is it ever cold in Texas?

Then I started to get nervous that a burglar would jump out a kidnap me. See, we live on a military base and there is a sense of security there. When I'm off the base I'm a tad nervous and assume that each person I encounter is going to wack me with a baseball bat.

"Have a safe drive," I said to Tom. I swear I saw the bush move and I tensed up. Who was behind it? Was it a robber? An alien?

It turned out it was just a light wind.

Well. Still. It's always good to be aware.

I waved as Tom backed out and then rushed back inside.

Of course it took me awhile to get back to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning I called Tom to make sure he was still alive.

He was.

He called throughout the day.

I'm in San Angelo...New Mexico....about to hit the Colorado border...

He called about an hour ago.

He was home.

"Is everything..okay?" I asked. I always worry that our house will blow up when we leave.

"It looks fine," Tom said.

"Remember to not--" I began.

"Yes. Don't use the upstairs toilet."

"Wait! Ew! There's a dead mouse on the floor!" Tom suddenly shouted.

WHAT?

"WHAT?" I screamed.

"Just kidding," Tom said and laughed.

Remind me to smack him when I see him on Thursday.

28 comments:

  1. Will do! I will give him a virtual slap now!

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  2. Ew why I otta! (Shaking my fist at Tom's face)

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  3. I have to agree, you're not a morning person. heehee

    Hope he doesn't use that toilet.

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  4. ugh...husbands.

    Can't live with em, can't live without em...:)

    Okay. I really don't want to live without em...but you know.

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  5. Not a morning person either! So glad he made it back safe. I can't drive long distance I get too sleepy. Have a great rest of your visit in Texas!

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  6. My husband and I took a walk around the neighborhood at 4:30 this morning. 4:30. Yeah, I don't know, either...

    Glad Tom is home safe. Oh! and don't forget to smack him!

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  7. Glad he made it home safely...oh and yes it's always hot and or sticky in Texas. My body goes into humidity shock when we visit!

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  8. I'm a terrible morning person, Hubby knows to stay far away but he does tease later in the day.
    Glad to see that your Hubby made it safely.

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  9. I'm a morning person, but my hubby is not. However, I don't consider 5am any closer to morning than, say, 2am.
    Good read!

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  10. I am so not a morning person either! I cannot function unless I've sucked down at least three cups of coffee - IN PEACE! If I don't get my sleep I am grouchy and walk around all day feeling like a zombie.

    Oh, and I'd slap him twice for that mouse comment. Yuck!

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  11. I am not a morning person either! However, I have to get up at 5 to leave my house by 6 to be at work at 7. Mornings just arent my thing. I really would love to sleep one day past 8 am.

    Hope you have a safe trip home on Thursday!

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  12. Glad to see you survived. I was beginning to worry!

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  13. I'll remind you. I'm about ready to smack the daylights out of Paul. I'm/was supposed to go to the courthouse today for some paperwork. Paul was going to drive me (I don't drive). All last night he kept reminding me like a broken record he wanted to leave first thing this morning. It's now 11AM any guesses as to where Paul is? Sleeping. After all the drama he stayed up till 4 this morning. I'm going with or without him tomorrow. I swear guys are idiots, aren't they? (Hugs)Indigo

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  14. I am definitely not a morning person! In fact, I just got up a little bit ago (summer hours). The only thing I hate more than getting up early is mice, so I'd probably give Tom more than a smack. Glad he made it home safely.

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  15. You should go get a fake mouse and leave it on his side of the bed! Talk about payback!!! :)

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  16. Glad that he made it home safe and sound. He needs to sleep for 2 days now!

    And you... you win the wife of the year award in my eyes for getting up that early to see him off. I would have waved at my hubby from the bed and then rolled back over!

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  17. My guy is the exact same way! If I don't remind him, he forgets and acts annoyed with me for reminding him! Sometimes even adds in, do you think I'm stupid. Um...no, I don't think you're stupid it was a friendly reminder....jeez ;)

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  18. I would have screamed like a girl when he said that even if I was in TX. Men!

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  19. totally hate mornings, too. i also hate that fact that tommy turns the light on in the morning then leaves the room to get a shower. wtf? why turn the light on then leave?!?!

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  20. Texas...yep never cold. Husband who travels - check. Makes me wake up to see him off - check. Says weird things that he thinks are funny but should land him in the doghouse for weeks - check. Good Luck! Very cute blog. Love the title. Just found you!

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  21. i am so not a morning person either and josh will leave at 530 to go to work and he will come in there to tell me bye.....i probably sound ( and look ) like a sasquatch that early in the am!!!

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  22. there's no amount of chocolate in the world that can bribe me out of bed that early! what a good wifey you are!

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  23. Just stumbled upon your blog. I'm loving your humor. Thanks for the smile and laugh!

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  24. I'll bet he's using that toilet RIGHT NOW!

    And why is the alarm clock always on our side? I hate that - especially when he won't get up and I get the job of repeatedly hitting the snooze for him.

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  25. I so totally would have screamed too. Yuck.

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  26. Glad he made it home safe and sound but the joke about the mouse is simply unforgivable!!!

    Oh and my husband's the same way...I can remind him over and over about something and he'll act perturbed that I'm "nagging" him. And then he'll end up doing what he wasn't supposed to do and I'm like, "WHY?????"

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  27. This is your one day advanced reminder to smack someone tomorrow. Don't worry, I'll remind you again tomorrow. :)

    Hope YOUR trip goes as smoothly as Tom's did.

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  28. I never wake up to the alarm. It could be blasting in my ear and it just doesn't wake me up. Luckily (?) my dog hears my alarm and starts pouncing on me until I get up to shut it off!

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