Friday, February 12, 2010

The Bay Leaf

A bay leaf.

The recipe called for a bay leaf.

Problem was I had no idea what a bay leaf looked like. I had never even heard of it before. When I had run my finger down the ingredients so I could start a grocery list, I thought I had read it wrong.

A bay leaf? Surely a leaf didn’t belong in a stew...

Because that’s what I was wanting to make. A stew for the Crock Pot. It’s called Beef Bourguignon. To be honest I don’t even know how to pronounce bourguignon (ber-gun-yun?). But the picture that accompanied the recipe looked good. And plus, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to cook more. So I broke my rule of not making anything with more than five ingredients and decided to go for this. I WOULD make the stew. Well, beef bour—whatever.

I went to the grocery store in search of the elusive bay leaf. I expected to find it right away. In my mind there would be a tiny stand with the words “Get Yer Bay Leaves!” written in big black letters on a sign above it. But there was no stand.

And there was no bay leaf, apparently.

I searched and searched.

“Bay leaf, bay leaf,” I muttered. I probably looked like a crazy person. What’s that woman with the unkempt hair whispering about a bay leaf for?

I found some rosemary and thought I was getting close. Rosemary is a spice, yes? And so was a bay leaf. Right? Sort of? I pawed the area and nearly touched a turnip. Yuck. I definitely would never make something with a turnip in it.

“Bay leaf,” I said again as though I expected one to morph in front of me.

I went down another aisle. The one with all the jarred spices.

“Bay leaf.” I scanned the bottles of stuff that I’d probably never use. I marveled at all the spices. Maybe I should use more spices. I should branch out from the usual salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Sometimes if I’m feeling extra bold I’ll go for some Paprika.

“Bay leaf.”

“Huh?” An old man who had sidled up beside me was tossing me a perplexed look. Maybe he thought I was calling him a bay leaf. For all he knew, maybe it was the latest insult.

“I’m just looking for the bay leaves,” I explained with an isn’t-that-hilarious shrug.

He blinked at me as though I were an idiot. “Over there. In the jar. The spices are in alphabetical order you know.”

Were they? Oh.

“Thank you,” I said and then I spotted them.

The bay leaves.

Finally.

What do they even smell like? I shook the jar once, twice, and the old man shot me one last bewildered stare before walking off.

I also had to buy Burgundy wine for the stew. Or rather, the beef bourguignon. You know what, I’m just going to call it a stew. The other word is a pain to type out.

The thing is, I don’t drink wine. I know, weird. I do like alcoholic fruity drinks though. It took me awhile to find the Burgundy wine because I don’t drink the stuff. Oh, I found all the white wine but no Burgundy wine.

I almost gave up on the recipe. It was already starting to give me a headache and I hadn’t even started on it yet. But I refused to give up. I eventually found the Burgundy wine (by the Chianti, which made me think of that line in Silence of the Lambs which in turn gave me nightmares…)

Then I woke up this morning all prepared to make the stew. I gathered all my ingredients. The first step was to cook the bacon. I could do that.

“What you want to do first is cook the bacon,” I said, flashing a make believe camera a smile. Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m on a cooking show. Which is ironic because I can’t cook. I should be on that one show on the Food Network called Worst Cooks in America. I’d say into the camera, “And I didn’t even know what a bay leaf was for God’s sake!”

I poured the Burgundy wine in—how long does it stay good, by the way? I’d hate to have to throw the rest out. Or maybe I could knock on my neighbor’s doors and be all, “Do you like wine? You do? Then here is some leftover Burgundy wine, just for you!”



And are you curious about the bay leaf?





Aren’t they cute? These are the right bay leaves, right? I was taken aback when I saw TURKISH bay leaves. I didn't need American ones, did I?

The stew smells good so far. I'll update my Twitter and say how it turned out.

Let us pray that it's edible.

73 comments:

  1. Just don't forget to take the bay leaf out before you serve your stew...hope it tastes good :) thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. So. Have you been watching Julie and Julia? Lol. Whenever I watched that movie I sooo wanted to try the recipe. Hope it turns out for you. Sounds yummy!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is quite a jump for you! Good luck! I have been cooking for years and have not attempted this recipe. I always feel like my results would let Ms. Child down somehow. Weird, I know. And Acting Balanced Mom is right, don't eat the bay leaf.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for the tips on taking out the bay leaf. I seriously would have kept the thing in there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The stew sounds very interesting! Can't wait to hear how it turns out. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's exactly why I never try new recipes. I have a Five Ingredient Fix It and Forget It book for crock pots. It's my savior! I highly recommend it.
    Hope your stew came out well! Good luck

    ReplyDelete
  7. I would have skipped it, I never liked bay leafs, and I have a huge pack of them, if only I knew, you needed them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Don't forget to take the bay leaf out when you're done :D
    I pretend I'm on cooking shows too... I always yell "BAM!" when I add a spice.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Found you through the Wannabe WAHM.

    I didnt know the spices were in alphabetical order for a long time :) lol...

    Hope your stew turns out great- not just edible! :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Good luck! Let me know how it comes out! I've thought about making it before, but it just seems so damn invovled.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Stepping outside the comfort zone, eh? Next you'll be skydiving!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I LOVE to cook so this was a very funny post for me to read. It's so funny what is enjoyable to one person and not to another. I hope your stew turned out well.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You crack me up!!! I'm so glad I found your blog!!! Alphabetical order.. who knew?? And, I do cook a lot. I guess I never noticed... Hope it turns out great!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I don't cook either. I do bake though; and when I bake, I pretend I'm on a cooking show. I usually have the dogs as an "audience" though, not that that makes me look any less crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Good lord don't eat the bay leaf!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I've known about the bay leaf but only recently got up the courage to use them. It feels so fancy! That stew sounds fantastic! Could you point us toward the recipe?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm over joyed at the fact that you used the word "unkeMpt". So many people think it's "unkept". Finally, someone who gets it =)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I hate when I'm looking for an ingredient that I have no clue what it even is! Hope it turns out yummy!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Make sure you remove the bay leaf when serving your stew. They aren't for eating. :) Can't wait to hear how it turned out!

    ReplyDelete
  20. When I was a kid, I totally used to pretend to be on a cooking show all of the time. I would make scrambled eggs for myself in the summer and pretend to do my show to the empty room. Good times.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I hope it turns out great! Can you post a link to the recipe if it's available? Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I was going to say not to eat the bay leaf, but it looks like the other ladies covered that. :) I like them...gives it a bit of a "woodsy" flavor. If you have any major cookbook (Betty Crocker, Better Homes and Gardens, Joy of Cooking,) they all have charts about different spices and herbs and when you use them. Very handy if you start to feel adventurous.

    Awhile back I decided my cooking show would be called "The Inattentive Chef," and it would be full of me saying things like, "Oh wait...did I just dump 1 1/2 of sugar instead of 1/2 cup...okay, let's figure out how to fix it..."

    ReplyDelete
  23. I HATE bay leafs. My mom would make turkey soup every year after Thanksgiving, and would put like 5 in the soup. Blech.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I can't wait until you write a post about cooking something with saffron in it!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ha, I didn't know the spices were in alphabetical order until recently either. I also didn't know bay leaves came in the turkish variety. Mine came in a jar that just said "bay leaves." I really can't figure out what they lend to a recipe because I've made the same recipe with them and then again without them and I couldn't taste a difference! Enjoy your stew, it looked really yummy in Julie & Julia.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I LOVE the taste of bay leaves, and use them in my chicken noodle soup. I also leave them in - because I've heard a legend that whoever gets one in their bowl will have good luck. :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Okay, why is it that when someone wants to be helpful, they also feel the need to make you feel like a twit?

    Alphabetical, my ass.

    I hope it is edible! That's definitely an undertaking.

    I'll cook, too. I'm making hash browns tonight! From a bag!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I was going to ask if you ate the leaf, but someone answered that! I would forget to take it out and someone would choke on it, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I remember the first time I made something that called for the bay leaf. I was like what? They want me to put leaves in my soup?!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Go Amber!You show that recipe who's boss.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Wow, I am impressed. For someone who doesn't know how to cook that is quite the under taking. I hope that it turns out well.

    ReplyDelete
  32. when I first read this, I immediately thought of "Julie & Julia". Check the book out--she describes her ordeal in making the same thing (in more detail than the movie).

    ReplyDelete
  33. That's so funny! Strangely, bay leaves were one of the spices I DID know, and that is only because one day my mom was making a stew, I saw her pulling the leaf out, and I said "Eeeewww! What's that?!" Yeah...didn't touch it then, because I didn't want a stew with foliage, but I do use them now (sometimes)!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Don't forget to drink the wine straight from the bottle while you are cooking - that's the secret to makign everything (even steak ums) taste great when its all cooked.

    :)

    I ate a bay leaf once.. you do wanna take it out, you can choke on the durn thing.

    ReplyDelete
  35. The wine would have been the only ingredient I would have on hand! My mother always put Bay Leaf in spaghetti sauce, so when I started cooking, I did. Except now I buy Prego instead of making my own sauce and all my Bay Leaves look like dead, brown leaves.

    ReplyDelete
  36. How did it come out? Bay leaves are one of those spices I ONLY see in jarred dry form. Other spices I see fresh, I've seen in garden stores, and some I even grew in my beginner's garden last Summer. By the way, if I had a gardening show it'd be Gardening for city kids who only ever had those little cactuses with the pink bulbous flower thing on top that she bought for a dollar every year when she went on the school trip to the botanical garden. Don't even ask about my sewing show. OH! Here's a cooking question you can answer -- what size Crock Pot should I buy? I want to get my first one.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Since you've got the bay leaf situation covered, I'll give you a tip on the wine leftovers. You can freeze wine. You can fill ice cube trays and then use the cubes for future recipes calling for wine. Or, you know, suck on them in August.

    ReplyDelete
  38. yummy!! I love stew. I hope it turns out perfectly and yeah...don't eat the leaf. ;) It's yucky.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Those bay leaves are cute, but I often wonder if it makes a difference in the recipe if I leave one out. Stew sounds delish!

    ReplyDelete
  40. a friend of mine recently made a beef bourg. recipe that took 17 hours. 17 flipping hours. she said it wasn't even stellar or anything. just, fine.

    i hate recipes that call for red wine because red wine messes me up quick so i never drink it. the husband doesn't drink at all so i'm always 'what do i do with the rest...' and then it's just a waste. *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  41. Bay leafs make the stew taste so good...just don't eat it.

    I have an award over on my blog for you!

    ReplyDelete
  42. I've been seeing this dish everywhere lately, and imagine I'd bury my face in a big bowl of it, so I want to make it. However, I don't want an entire jar of bay leaves. Wish you could just buy one. Getting rid of the remaining burgundy wine, though, wouldn't likely hold as much difficulty!

    ReplyDelete
  43. I needed a smile tonight, thank you! My mom, sisters, aunts, and myself are making this for our men on V-Day. I guess we'll compare notes after. My mom would always throw a bay leaf in her soups, stews, and sauces. She told us if we accidently ate one, it would cut our throats and we'd die. She was always like that...telling us not to do things or we'd die. I think she told us that about sex too. Hmmmm...

    ReplyDelete
  44. Never heard of turkish bay leaves...hope you remembered to take the bay leaf out before cooking!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Bay leaves are gross, DO NOT ACCIDENTALLY EAT IT! I don't drink wine or cook, so you are like my hero now!

    ReplyDelete
  46. LOL..glad you were already told to take it OUT before eating. :) Wine...yum.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Mmmm! I bet its SUPER tasty. You'll become the next stew master of the UNIVERSE! *cue dramatic music*

    ReplyDelete
  48. How funny. I am planning on making the same thing for my Valentine's Day dinner.

    I do, however, love to cook and find it therapeutic. All that measuring and watching the food develop can usually take my mind off whatever is bothering me.

    Your bottle of bergundy should last quite a while since it has a screw top. Those pesky corks usually require that you finish the whole bottle at a sitting. Or like another poster said you can freeze them into cubes. You could always look up a recipe for sangria, it's a frutiy drink made with wine and is really quite yummy!

    I hope your beef berginyawn turned out well!

    ReplyDelete
  49. I hate buying wine to cook with because I know NOTHING about wine haha

    ReplyDelete
  50. That little bay leaf puts a lot of flavor in stuff. I always use them in my pot roast and any stews I'm making.

    I'm checking twitter for an update!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Stopping in from SITS, happy Saturday Sharefest. Cooking...not so much here. Your story reminded me of one that I posted for Thanksgiving where I had to go to the store 3 times, yeah 3...to get everything I needed for a pie. ugggh! Have a great day and I hope your "stew" was wonderful.
    ~Gay~
    itsahodgepodgelife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  52. Bay Leaves can also be used to keep the weevils out of your grains (flour, rice, cornmeal etc), just stick a leaf in the container. You can also put a leaf in each corner of your cabinet or pantry to keep the ants away!

    ReplyDelete
  53. freeze the wine. put it in bags (I just use ziplock) of a cup (or so) each and then use it for future recipes. I dont' like wine much either (though I've found a few great whites) and living alone (with a two year old) I wouldn't want to finish a bottle quickly. some people do drink the wine with the food they made but I usually have a tiny bit while cooking and then just freeze the rest.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I'm starving!!!!!!


    And how do I get all those stumbleupon do hickies on my posts????????

    ReplyDelete
  55. I am no Martha Stewart but you always make me laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  56. Glad you found the leaves, nothing worse than wanting to try a new recipe and not having a clue what half the ingredients are, lol. Congrats on conquering that stew! :D

    Thanks for visiting my blog, Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

    ReplyDelete
  57. mmmm Boeuf bourguinon! I know one of the other comments mentioned it, but remember to take the leaf out. It's just for flavor. (like when you make a soup base out of bones) and if you haven't watched it, rent Julie & Julia. Its fabulous and inspirational. Perfect for someone who is journeying into trying out recipes!

    ReplyDelete
  58. mmm bayleaves! SO tasty! i use them in alot of my recipes i buy them bulk from my bulk whole foods store! Thanks for stopping by my blog Darl and for the comment!

    ReplyDelete
  59. we go through bay leaves like salt in this house....I hope you likd teh stew, and freeze the wine you did not use and keep for next time. I have mentioned you on my post this week... alll the best, Coryanne

    ReplyDelete
  60. I remember the first time I cooked with fennel. Had to ask someone at the market what it even looked like in order to find it. Like you, I was in the right area..........but what it looked like? No clue. Once I ate a bay leaf by mistake. Yikes. Good for seasoning, NOT for eating whole. I'm going to go check twitter for an update!

    ReplyDelete
  61. This is hilarious. Your first encounter with a bay leaf. I have a MIL from Aruba and have some Bay leaves from the island. They break your meat down, especially steak or pork. They make it seem like you worked for hours on a meal, spicing and seasoning it. Remove them before serving and it will be a delish dish~!

    ReplyDelete
  62. I always ignored the bay leaf thing. Hate finding them in dishes....

    ReplyDelete
  63. Good for you for branching out! I can't wait to hear how it came out-- I'm a real gung-ho cook, try new recipes all the time, but I've never made beef bourgignon! Tell us!

    ReplyDelete
  64. My husband, the cook of our family, often cooks with bay leaves, and I must admit I'm a little miffed by the whole ordeal! I always get nervous that I'm going to actually ingest one when the meal is served!

    Great story, thanks for sharing!!

    ReplyDelete
  65. You are a hoot! So funny you never heard of a bay leaf. Hope it turned out well!
    Stephanie the-still-waters.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  66. I love to cook and have a fully stocked spice cabinet.
    IF you were Martha Stewart you would pour the left over wine into ice cube trays and then pop them into freezer bags to save for your next foray into Gourmet Cooking.
    It keeps for a while... I have that I have been using from over 6 months ago and it's still good.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  67. Hope it turned out well! This is so funny! Glad the hunt for the bay leaf wasn't fruitless.

    ReplyDelete
  68. If a recipe calls for something and I haven't a clue what it is...I just use rum instead. ;) hehe

    ReplyDelete
  69. i saw the picture of tommy on fb.
    i literally started laughing.
    i couldn't wait to come here to read the story...and i'm just now getting to read it.
    btw, this is the same Tina from OD...browneyedmonkey...which is no longer.
    just figured i should mention that. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  70. Good luck! yes, i know its Monday and I am just getting around to comment. I can't wait to read how the stew turned out!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Good lord, you are sooooo funny!!! Nice choice on the wine, too. Never buy the cheap shit for cooking, I say. Oh, wait...

    ReplyDelete
  72. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment!

Share This

 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...