When we all got our drinks (sweet tea for me), I proposed a toast.
“Congratulations, Tommy,” I said. “And to quote a fantastic song from the great Bob Dylan, ‘May you grow up to be righteous, may you grow up to be true, may you always know the truth, and see the lights surrounding you. May you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong, may you stay forever young.’”
I expected the table to be moved. I mean, hello, great song.
But they just blinked at me as though I were speaking Swahili.
“You listen to weird music,” Tom said, sipping the cherry limeade that he ordered. The glass was huge, almost as big as my arm.
“You listen to weird music,” I retorted. Seriously. He listens to music where the singer screams at you and sometimes calls you a pussy. I don’t want my music insulting me, thanks.
Since Tommy is finished with school, he brought home tons of classwork that he had done throughout the year.
For example, he wrote a story about our cat Max:
Yes, our cat pukes a lot. I was amused that Tommy would write about it. Tommy said they could write about whatever they wanted and Tommy chose to write about cat vomit. Lovely.
And also, he made this:
For those who don’t speak Tommy, in the top corner is his family. (Aw!)
Then there is Wal-Mart. (Ha)
Beside that is McDonalds. (Yes, we love it there. It didn’t faze us to learn that a Happy Meal found a year later looked basically the same as when it was bought. We love the fries.)
Underneath that is Target.
And beside that is Colorado, which we drive to so we can get to MORE shopping and food.
I’m amused that these things are the map of his heart.
I’m raising him well.
Just found your blog. LOVE your son's 'heart'. Glad you made the cut, we should all be so lucky. I'll be back.
ReplyDeleteI love that song!!! Did you sing it like Bob Dylan?? May be that was why you got the weird look??
ReplyDeletehaha!!! I love the map :)
ReplyDeleteis story is so funny!!!!
and I'm with you, I don't want my music to yell at me or call me names either!!!!
Tommy is a boy after my own heart and beyond his years in wisdom. I mean, Wal-mart is the happiest place on earth, at least for me. When I'm feeling down, Micah always asks if I want to go to Wal-mart to feel better! You are definitely raising him right!!
ReplyDeleteLoved our speech. Mine would of went something like this, "Oh babah, babah, how was I suppose to know, that something wasn't right... i'm not that innocent." and finished with a brit dance move. I'm not good at speeches.
ReplyDeleteNatalie's heart would contain Gymboree!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't like to be insulted by my choice of entertainement either. Not into the 'tough love'. But that map of tommy's heart is SO PRECIOUS!
ReplyDeleteThat heart is a neat idea! I must say, I think my heart would look a LOT like Tommy's! (w/o Colorado, but being in Malmstrom, the shopping IS pretty limited! lol)
ReplyDeleteJust found your wonderful blog and have subscribed and followed so I WILL be back! You are raising that boy well and I think Bob Dylan made an awesome toast!
ReplyDeleteI get the same reaction to my music anytime I have one of those young whipper snappers in my car with me while I listen to oldies or classic rock.
ReplyDeleteAnd by whipper snappers, I mean the people in my program who are 2 years younger than me.
And the map of the heart was so great. Minus Target, that's pretty close to what mine looks like now.
You are raising a very good kid.
I had to laff at the cat vomit story. Tommy is my kind of guy.
ReplyDelete:)
The cat story is hilarious...and I absolutely love the map of his heart, how precious!
ReplyDeleteThis one, I relate to big time. Besides the barfing cat (check), my daughter has become fairly obsessed with acquiring toys. I'm going to ask her what her heart would look like and then kick myself when she tells me. At least you guys made it on first. Pretty prime real estate; it's not like he forgot the family and then tacked it on like a graft. What a good boy.
ReplyDeleteOh, I forgot: I'm sure your spoken-word Dylan toast was extremely moving. Are you sure you're 27? Did your parents play you Dylan? And did you like it when you were a kid? Maybe you're laying the groundwork...
ReplyDeleteThose are keepsakes for sure! :) Good stuff....
ReplyDeleteThe cat story could have been worse...he could have drawn a picture of the cat licking his butt or something. Ewwww.....
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're raising that boy just right. He'll make somebody a good husband some day and understand when his wife wants to go shopping. Heck, he'll probably want to go WITH her!
Awww...that is sweet :)
ReplyDeleteHappy graduation for Tommy!
So SWEET! Love the heart.
ReplyDeletekitty puke...hysterical
ReplyDeletego tommy!!
ReplyDeleteand btw- you are so NOT weird... i love me some dylan.. and especially that song!
Awww, the cat puking story is funny!
ReplyDeleteUm, er, uh, hmmm. Hey, I've got it! No, that's not appropriate either. Damn. My head is just filled with inappropriate comments. I'm leaving now.
ReplyDeleteHe is 100% awesome and a boy carved from my heart. Except instead of Colorado is pretty much anywhere we can go on vacation. And Target might be on top :) Good job, mom.
ReplyDeleteThat is hysterical that he mapped out the best eating and shopping places around. Such a momma's boy.
ReplyDeleteLovely - my 6 year old is going through a very cheeky phase. But he is so lovely underneath the attitude. Your post made me remember that he is the boy of my heart.
ReplyDeleteHow cute! Thank goodness he rememebered his family!
ReplyDeleteThe lesson? Cat vomit is entertaining whether you're 6 or 36! Why isn't Texas roadhouse in his heart map?
ReplyDeleteHow funny that he can write a story about cat vomit. Our cat vomits a lot too...only I don't find it funny.
ReplyDeleteTexas Roadhouse is on my heart map, I love that place!
He is a writer just like his mom...
ReplyDeleteHey...did they bring you lots of rolls this time??? lol
Target has a huge part of my heart too! LOL, me and Tommy are BFFs.
ReplyDeleteI love the map of his heart. Such a cute idea and reveals so much about him!
ReplyDeleteMay you stay forever young! Great post! I love Dylan too. He's a great songwriter.
ReplyDeleteI love that song! Im going to have it in my head for days now!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad to know I am not the only one who receives blank stares when she says something profound to her family.....
ReplyDeleteTotally LOVED Tommy's map of his heart! That is beautiful and I'm sure will be treasured forever!
Yeah....cat puke, that's how I start most of my days lately. Who's idea was it to get a cat anyway?
ReplyDeleteHe seems well rounded to me!
ReplyDeleteTake pride, kiddo, at least there were no weapons, drugs or porn...
ReplyDeleteAnd I happen to think his artistic talent is way beyond his years!
Props!
L.
P.S. We all like McDonald's fries, we just don't all admit it. You're more honest that most of us. =^)
ReplyDeleteMy cat throws up a lot too. I think he does it on purpose to annoy me. It's better now that he only eats kibble.
ReplyDeleteI love Tommy's heart. He's obviously a well brought up boy as well as a boy with wonderful tastes in food and amusements!
I'm teaching my kids to hate Walmart. Not on purpose, but I say that I hate it every time that we go there.
ReplyDeleteBut, they would all have McD's in theirs. And probably Chuck E. Cheese, too.
My favorite part of this post is the "LOL" pointing at the vomiting cat. That made me LOL. And that's a great song, but my husband would make fun of me too.
ReplyDeleteummm that is hilarious. and it made me hungry for texas road house. rooooooolls. my mouth just filled with saliva.
ReplyDeleteI think my heart and Tommys heart have a lot in common.
ReplyDeleteI get to eat at the Texas Roadhouse on the 15th!!!! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited! It better be as good as you say it is missy, I am looking forward to those rolls.
Thanks for the comment on our blog!! I absolutely love you blog and have it on my favs now!! I know where to go now when I need a good laugh :-) Every post I've read so far has made me smile.
ReplyDeleteAnna
www.annieandisabel.com
Nothing like a good cat vomit story! Congrats to Tommy!
ReplyDeleteI shudder to think what stories my first grader is sharing with his friends and teachers. I'm guessing some of them involve bodily functions of family members.
ReplyDeleteLoved the retail heart. Hilarious.
I love those kinds of things they bring home! This was soooo sweet. And btw, that's my kind of music too :)
ReplyDeleteTommy's so cute! And hey - writing about cat vomit? He sounds like a future blogger to me! :)
ReplyDeleteHis heart is family and shopping. Love it! He's gonna be a good man for any woman. Love Texas Roadhouse, now I'm hungry. Bob Dylan is the greatest. Just give them a decade or so and maybe they will get the genius of their mom quoting that as a toast. :D
ReplyDeleteTarget has got a large part of my heart.
ReplyDeleteI thought your toast was lovely.
I heart Tommy's heart! And I love that he devoted an entire non-fiction story to cat barf. Congrats on having a 3rd grader!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea - drawing a map of your heart.
ReplyDeleteI love that he included Walmart and Target! :)
Love the 'our cat was sick' story - the highlight of his day obviously if he's taken the trouble to write about it! Kids are so sweet.
ReplyDeleteI love the map of my heart. That is too sweet.
ReplyDeleteHe's brilliant! I love him! And congrats for leaving 2nd grade in the dust!!!
ReplyDelete